Sometimes you have to make it tangible

Girlfriend Resume

While I am in a job search for the right company to work with while I'm working on my dreams, I had to update my resume. So with that in mind, I began pondering questions about relationships and readiness. Why not prepare a dating resume like a professional one. Why you parted ways, how long each one was, what you are looking for, things like that. This is a working one, but I thought it was fun to make and reflect on. 

Miss Camia Aka. Dymond Diva

Girlfriend Material - Wife Potential

Objective:

Build a life with a partner that has similar life goals

Experience: (Based on Relevance)

Donjae' - While it was a short lived encounter, it was helpful in learning that I should listen to my head more when I see warning signs of false promises. 

Jayson - On and off for 5 years, it was the most damaging of relationships, because he was never really mine, and I gave him way too much of my heart and energy

Alex - It was never going to be long lived, but it was perfect for that time in my life. He was an amazing man, and catered to what I needed at that time.

Moses - He was a whirlwind romance, we almost got married before I found out he was a lying, cheating Jerk.

Kaamar - Every woman has the dude that she knows is wrong for her, but he gives her the right attention at the right time in her life; He was this dude. I took his bullshit and he took advantage of my young naive nature. 

Brian - My first love, my first mistake, my first everything. He had my heart, and broke it. I trusted him to keep me safe and he abandoned me with no regard. I still pray for him, because he didn't break me, he made me realize my worth from an early age.

Special Skills:

Cooking

Baking

Dinner Party Host

Support System (emotional, mental, physical, financial)

Watching sports (and know what's going on)

Nurturing

Hilarious

Smart (can hold conversations on a wide variety of topics, current events, books, sports, technology, just to name a few)

Confident/Self Aware

Bedroom activities (submissive, kinky, dominating, I do it all)

Things We Settle For...

People aren't dating anymore:

Just talking

Catching feelings

Sleeping together

and ending up in situationships

This was the realest statement I read, and made me think about the interactions I've had and the relationships I've been through. I haven't been in a real relationship in so long, that I forgot what it was like to not be in situations with guys. Not because I wanted to be, but because I wasn't prepared for a relationship. All I was ready for was a situation that was convenient to my life. I can see it now, since I'm more prepared for a relationship. I want to build with a partner, not be carried by a man's success or carry another man to success. Let's lay a foundation and, and build our empire from the ground up. Let's be a power couple in our suburban community. Do it all and still have a hot meal on the table for the kids. I need a rider that can do it with me not for me. I'll be your Queen to the world and your woman at home, just meet me half way and be the King to our world and the man of our home. I don't want to settle anymore for a situation that I will be good enough for, I want to work hard and make it look effortless. I want to make you better just like you make me better. I want to be with you and for you, no matter who you are or when we'll meet. 

Friends...no love lost

I needed a friend and we became lovers
I needed a man and we became strangers
I needed us back and you left forever
I don't hurt like I used to
I hope the same for you

Cuffing Season

If I see one more post about cuffing season, and cuffing draft picks I'm unfriending and unfollowing them asap. This is not a thing! You wonder why so many people look at relationships and marriages like temporary things, because there is no conviction of the heart anymore. You end up in situations instead of relationships.
So don't mind me, but I'm gonna take this "season" off, because the ignorance of this nonsense is out of control. I don't want a temporary fling, I want the real thing, so I'll leave all that for the kids of today.

Venting..

I'm not your woman, hell I'm not even your bitch, so get out my phone texting me like such. I don't owe you a damn thing, and I damn sure ain't pressed to see you. So if I am not in the mood to fuck with you, leave me the fuck alone. I've known you for far too long and know all your little tricks and shit to get in my pants. Your dick ain't worth my driving to the other side of town, shit, it's barely worth a shave. So no I don't jump when you call, I roll my eyes and if I'm in the mood to deal with your shit, I'll respond. I don't even fuck with you for the enjoyment of the moment, I do it for the hilarious stories I get to tell afterward. He makes my blood boil some days, and most days I just won't respond. I'm tired of playing this game with you, especially since I've been fucking you for 7 years. When you're just a fuck thing, if that goes sour, there is nothing left to keep me interested. Mad at myself for letting you stay in my world. Even more mad that you continue to be there pressed for my pussy. Find some other girl that wants to deal with your bullshit because I finally graduated and became a woman that won't deal with it.

Be hungry for more...

Feed your passions with drive

Feed your intrigue with chance

Feed your inhibitions with change

Once you complete your first set of goals,

Make new ones.

Challenge yourself to experience the unknown.

Just a thought...

Let yourself be happy. stop looking for things to be mad about. I know it's scarier to be happy when you are used to things being so upsetting. Don't miss the good days looking out for the bad ones.

The heart plays tricks on you, it tricks you into thinking with it instead of with your brain. Make sure you listen to your heart, but decide with your brain.

The only thing worse than any situation you are in is death, so don't complain about the small things when you have so much to live for and offer the world with your presence.

People that prove they love you deserve your loyalty. Don't give them trust tests when you know they would jump through a ring of fire for you.

Don't Worry Love...

Don't worry about calling me
Don't worry about texting me
Don't worry about liking my pics on instagram
Don't worry about the tears I shed
Don't worry about the laughs out loud
Don't worry about the men I'm dealing with
Don't worry your pretty little head about anything I do

I don't need your fake friendship

I don't need your insecurities

I don't need your weaknesses

I don't need you.

I'll be okay without your comforts and smiles.

I tried to be a friend.

Hell I tried to be more.

You didn't want it, and I was cool.

But I'm done babying a grown ass man. 

Figure yourself out, and leave me out of your confusion.

It's funny how things change...

People grow up, move forward, and set goals. If you know me, I was very anti-child. I always wanted that honor of being cool auntie. I NEVER thought I would see the day where I wanted a little bundle of joy to call my own. Fighting it for so long, because I didn't think I would ever get married. Learning more about myself and who i am, and what I want. I want a family. I want a husband to my wife and a child to raise in this crazy world molded in the image of who we are together. I'm preparing myself now to be a better woman, and one day a better wife, and even further down the line a better mother. It's just funny to see how things change, priorities get shifted, and life becomes more about love and less about things that don't matter. I'm not as reckless as I once was, but still free as I always will be. My experiences have transformed me mentally and emotionally. I love others without a second thought and criticize the love of myself most harshly. But never once have I questioned my dedication to being happy. I embrace the changes in my heart and ready to fulfill the journey my path leads me down.

Complete Me...

When you embrace my essence, grab hold of me.
Hold my hips when you pull me close
Wrap your arms around me when you kiss me
Grab hold of my entire being with the look in your eyes.
Let me feel your spirit, your soul, your passion.
Penetrate my thoughts with your intellect
And allow me to release my inhibitions.
Be every fantasy, every desire, every euphoric thought
Release my mind and then relax my body.
Complete my sexuality with your sensuality.

Feeling Free

Blessed with opportunities to make my dreams happen.

Blessed with friends worthy of becoming family.

Blessed with loved ones that are supportive.

Blessed to be alive another day to enjoy life's intricacies.

Just blessed and feeling free.

Just a Note on the 3 F's

If you're not fucking me, feeding me, or financing me, then your opinion on how I live my life is irrelevant. While I take advice from all sorts, in the end the decision is mine. With that being said, keep all unsolicited advice to yourself!

Lying to myself...

This has been on my mind for a while, and I need to get it off my chest. I set myself up for failure fucking with you. So I have nobody to blame but me when I got hurt. I should have known better when you couldn't give me a straight answer about yourself. I should have known better when you didn't make time for me. I should have known better when I realized you were broken. I didn't listen to the signs because you were attractive. I let your weaknesses become mine, and I'm so much stronger than that. So thank you getting me back to me, because I needed that. You were not it for me, but you have brought me one step closer to being ready for the one. I appreciated our time together, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Vacation?

Due to the construction that is going on in our office I have two weeks off of work. Within that time, I would like to share that I am going to be working heavily on my book! With a big push to finish before I go back to work. Wish me luck, and hopefully I will be able to pop in every now and again to update the blog :)

I Won't Respect A Man...

• that wants to lay with me behind the back of his significant other
• that treats women like pawns in a game
• that has potential, but is too scared to recognize it
• that moves heaven and earth for those around him that treat him like dirt and not for people that would do anything for him
• that intentionally toys with the emotions of others for their own gain
• that acts more like a woman than I do
• that is in his emotions more than I am (If I wanted a bitch, I would go get one)

I Can't Do This Anymore...

For all my lovers, past and present...

I don't want to change a man, because I know that's impossible, but I do want you to push yourself to be a better man. You should wake up every morning hoping to be better than you were the day before. I'm the type of woman that will ride for her man, as long as he gives me something worth riding for. I will fall in love with your potential. I will fuck the shit out of your aspirations. I will hold down your ambitions. We can chill when we made it, because the grind never sleeps and happiness is at the top together. I need a powerful man to compliment my dominating presence. Push me to be better, stronger, wiser and more than when you met me, because I want the best out of you that I already know you can give. (we wouldn't be talking if I didn't see the capacity or your nature.)
My mind keeps telling me to be patient, and my heart, my heart keeps rushing me towards the wrong people. I've put myself out there one time too many, and I'm just tired of not having anyone there to catch me. I'd rather catch myself than rely on someone else. So with that being said, farewell to the old lovers, potential boo thangs, and occasional fuck toys. I am no longer using you nor allowing you to use me, I am moving on. To get between my legs, you better be talking more than for old times sake or some smooth line, because for you I am closed. My grind is all that matters till someone opens my eyes to something different.

Missed the old me, so I'm back..

If you're real then you won't be shocked by how I am. The truth only hurts those that lie to themselves. If I have ever done anything well, it is be transparent about who I am, and how I feel. If I hide from you, it's because I didn't trust you. Fake mothafuckas get fake information. You don't deserve truth because you can't handle it. So miss me when I'm gone, if you're real, then you have nothing to worry about. My grind gets better when i'm not distracted by the bullshit of others. My heart suffers, but it is a chance I am willing to take and a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Not Sure Which is Worse...

• Thinking you would date me or Knowing you wouldn't and messing with you anyway
• Believing you cared about me or Thinking it was more than just sex
• Trusting you with any part of me or Not trusting my instincts about you
• Letting go of who I was or Not bringing my lessons learned with me
• Treating you like a Man or Ignoring that you were just a boy
• My cold heart or My freezer where it used to be