10 Commandments of Dating a Chick Like Me

1. Thou shall not act pussy whipped when you haven't actually got the pussy from me. (that shit is annoying as fucc)
2. Thou shall NEVER EVER expect me to be the mushy, pda-showing, hopeless-romantic you see in movies. (This might be the movie of my life, but this ain't the movies)
3. Thou shall have goals outside of the music industry, sports arena, and entertainment field.
4. Thou shall not try to have phonesex with me. (i don't do that unless its foreplay, if its not then its stupid. i can be by my damn self to maturbate I don't need you breathing in my ear.)
5. Thou shall not talk about long term with me. (most likely you won't be around long enough)
6. Thou shall NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS wake me up out my sleep with dumb questions like how's your day? and its only 6:30. ( Nigga its not i'm still sleep)
7. Thou shall not floss bling on a bitch like you the shit. that doesn't impress me because you probably ran out of money trying to buy it
8. Thou shall always treat me with respect. (Because the less respect I get the less likely I am to be nice when you fall for me)
9. Thou shall not treat Oral sex like a right when its a privillage. (act up and you won't be getting anywhere near either sets of lips
10. Thou shall not try to wife me if you're not cuffable. (what kind of fucked up logic is that. We don't cuff the undateable get your life together.)

Fun List

A fun list is kind of like a bucket list but for sex. People you would sex up and places you would like to have it happen. I started to make mine and I encourage you to make one for yourself. I'll even share mine some are already crossed off, but so worth the repeat. I'll let you wonder which ones are done and not :-)

PEOPLE

-Paramedic
-Firefighter
-Police
-TSA worker
-Guy fully tatted
-Guy w/ tongue pierced
-Guy 15 yrs my senior
-Guy younger than me
-a virgin
-somebody famous
-a shy guy
-Middle Eastern guy
-Filipino guy
-White guy
-Straight thugged out nigga
-Jewish guy
-Married man
-Marine
-Navy
-Army
-Air Force

PLACES

-a pool

-at a neighbors house
-a library
 -bookstore
-in a adult video/bookstore
-the beach
-every room in my house
-on a ride @ an amusement park
-hood of a car
-on a plane
 -in a hummer
-backseat of a moving convertable
-classroom
-on top of a bar (afterhours)
-on a football field (@1st and goal)
-in a computer lab
-On a military base
-in a tattoo shop

Public Places...hmmmm?

So I got the shock of a lifetime when I walked into the bathroom at the Borders bookstore a week ago. This couple was going at it on the sink counter, and I was beyond upset, because I had to pee really bad. They were totally not embarrassed and asked me if I really needed the bathroom right now. I said no, because they look like the type that might enjoy somebody being in there and I was not about to be apart of someone else bathroom fantasy. When I told my bestie he fell out laughing, and when you think about it after the fact, it was pretty funny. So when I went to the bookstore recently, I was looking at the "sexuality/erotica" books and came across a funny book called "101 places to have sex before you die". Thinking of my recent encounter, I picked it up and flipped through it. They had some of the wildest things in that book, possibly illegal, but oh so wild. So I guess my train of thought has been focused on getting down in a public place. Don't get me wrong, been there done that, but now its the next step in kicking it up a notch, so I can truly be "The Master" as my besties used to call me when I was in Hawaii.

My favorite and wildest, in my opinion, sexcapde was at the airport. I was dropping off my then boyfriend at the airport. I remember it like it was yesterday, along with every time it rains. We parked at the top of the structure for Terminal 3. The rain coming down, not to hard, but enough to get you wet. I say my goodbye now, so he won't see me crying later. We get his stuff out the car and I just have to kiss him one more time, but when we let go he just stares into my eyes and drops his bags as if to say I can't leave just yet. I dropped my umbrella and it flew away, but I didn't care because my man was here and I wouldn't see him for 6 months when he left. He grabbed me into his deep embrace, kissing my neck all down to chest. At this point I had a feeling it would go further. With the kissing and heavy petting, he got me wetter than the rain and he knew it. So he picked me up and placed me on the hood of the car lifting up my shirt so he could kiss down my body to my sweet tender pussy lips. He gently sucks on my clit and I let out a slight moan as he begins to flick it with his tongue knowing every tender touch making my pussy wetter and wetter. Going at it like its his last mission on earth, I scream in pure ecstasy.

He comes up with the biggest smile on his face, because he knows he put it work, and i'm gonna miss it when he's gone. I tell him to get that big grin off his face, because as much as i'll miss him he's gonna miss me more. I slide off the hood and let him sit down, even though my legs are still a little weak from the pleasure I received, I find the strength and do what I do. Kissing down his abs to his sexy ~V~ I gently nibble right through there to get his body ready. His dick hard as a rock as I go into giving him pleasure. Licking his dick from the base to the tip and taking every single inch of him deep into the back of my throat, he balls his fist up and bites his knuckles so as not to let out an unmanly sounding moan or scream. He instead yells out "Oh shit" as a car just happens to roll by. Working the balls with one hand and taking the dick in my mouth, he got his feet curling so I know he's about to bust.

Make-up running down my face because of the rain, my once straight hair now curly, he turns to me and says you are the most beautiful woman in the world, now come here and let me get in that pussy. Holding back our laughter, he lifts me up onto the hood and begins to penetrate deep inside my pussy walls. Working it slowly as he pulls almost all the way out before he digs deeper and deeper with every thrust. He has me moaning while he picks up the rhythm and speed. He slows it down so he can get me from the back. So as i'm bent over the hood of this car, I begin to feel a climactic moment coming. Just a little bit longer, deeper and faster. Hit the front of my pussy from the back. Hitting my major spot, and grabbing my hair, he makes me cum. I scream out "Fuck...yes papi...right there" He has my body shaking and my legs weak, but I stay standing because he's still going. He whispers in my ear We not stopping till we cum at the same time. Excited and exhausted at the thought, I am game for this. After he makes me cum two more times, he nuts, but his dick is still hard, so I know he's serious about this. He takes it slow and our breathing is more in sync than ever before, my heart beating with his, I move my body with his and it is like we are one. I close my eyes and stop thinking so much about what we want to accomplish and just let my body feel it. As soon as I let go of every thought, I begin to feel myself about to climax. All it takes is one deep thrust and we both explode with pure blissful satisfaction.
We put our shirts on, and pull up our pants, and just sit on the hood cooling off in the cold rain. When we finally do move, we sit up and notice that Security is sitting in their truck and all we wondered was if they enjoyed the show so all we could do was laugh. My BF got his bags out of the trunk again and hugged and kissed me good-bye. We kept it short and sweet and as he walked off to go catch his flight I realized he planned this from the beginning because he said he still had 2 1/2 hours till his flight left and we had been there for 3 already.

Oh memory lane how you never cease to make me smile. While this was probably the wildest of places for me, I wouldn't mind kicking it up just another notch to see if I can't get into a little trouble maybe. But not to much, i'm not that crazy :-) I'll flip through my new found favorite book and see what kind of sexcapdes i can come across.

Brain So Good...Had To Go To College

Amazing head is hard to come by, good head is fairly common. Bad head is like a disease, nobody wants to be on the recieving end, but sometimes we catch it and we wish we didn't. I talked about this a while back in an entry called "Oral Fixation" because girls need to learn it from WOMEN and boys need to learn it from MEN, its nothing to run from or take lightly. To add to it, guys need to wash they sweaty ass balls or they get no dome and chicks need to shave it so a dude can find it.

Assorted Affairs

I have never intentionally been one to be the other woman, but it has on occassion come to the table. One night of hot, lustful sex doesn't make up for the guilt I felt for the woman in that relationship, because I have been on both ends of the spectrum and neither side is fun. Well the mistress side is fun for a little while. But at any rate, cheating and affairs have peaked my interest lately, because of lingering memories of steamy passions coming to revive some glimmer of ecstasy in my new image of 2010. Don't get me wrong I am quite tempted to give into the inviting offer, but the guilt that I keep feeling for this girl so in love with this slimeball of a guy makes the scale of him balance and i'm back at zero. I know it sounds awful right, but when you harbor a crush for a guy for 8 years and then he delivers on the sensual pleasures, a few things go out the window, defintely not planned things. But I digress back to my point, "Cheating: who's to blame?".
Why people cheat, who they cheat with, and what happens when you get caught? these are the biggest questions that concern people when the topic of cheating comes up. I talked about what constitutes cheating a while back, but not I want to look at motives and my own personal experiences.
Why MEN cheat, is for the most part because of sex, but occasionally for emotional reasons. They can't go to their partner because of some sort of resentment, misplaced anger/hostility/frustration, lack of trust, or simply just not really caring about the person to begin with. Who MEN cheat with, is basically who they have access to. Looking at Tiger Woods in the recent news, he worth a billion dollars so he has bitches all over the place. My ex, James, cheated because of opportunity and convience. The more temptation a man has and the more the opportunity presents itself, the more likely he will be to cheat if you can't keep him happy majority of the time.
Why WOMEN cheat, is usually more so because of a deeper emotional connection to the person they are cheating with. They aren't getting their emotional needs met with the person they are with, so they look for other mates. Who WOMEN cheat with, is basically the typical man she would date. She's looking for her next mate, not her next fuck, because the man she's with provides her with that.
So while both may cheat for similar reasons women are looking for a new mate to give them what they need and men are looking to "emotionally release" *PLEASE keep in mind this is my general opinion and you don't have to agree with it, i'm not saying its a fact*
So you caught your partner cheating, you're furious, frantically looking to hurt someone, break something or throw an object that shatters. Why is your first thought to be mad at the mistress or you know what there is no word for the man that cheats with the taken woman. Anywho, we should be directing the anger we have at the partner that stepped outside the relationship, but then again when you're mad, you go for the person unfamiliar to you not the person you thought you knew. This is actually getting to be a little longer than I had anticipated, so i'm gonna end with this.

I wonder..

I wonder sometimes what guys are thinking when they approach a female in a foul manner. Is it that they don't have manners or they don't respect the woman they are approaching. It really puzzles me to think that young men are being taught the ways of "the game" by assholes that don't respect women because of heartbreak and bad experiences. The same thing is happening to young women. The bad role models are teaching girls to be gold diggers, video models, and hoes instead of doctors, lawyers, and police officers. This is just a thought, because some of these so called men recently have been completely disrespectful when hitting on me recently and I just can't fathom what in their mind makes it okay to say "Aye shawty you got a fat ass and some nice curves". Like I said some of the things I think about.

Mind-Blowing Sex

On some real talk, it has been a good little while since a man has provided me with a mind-blowing, earth shaking, make-you-walk-different-for-a-few-days type of sexual experience, and it's sad. When I can get myself off with a simple glass piece or dildo better than a red-blooded man with the warmth and comfort to fit the contours of my pussy just right, something isn't right in the water. Don't get me wrong, a few have tried, but when it gets to a certain point, you get tired of trying to force something you know they can't provide. I partially think it has a lot to do with society softening up men today. They aren't as aggressive as they could be and its affecting their performance in the bedroom. I hate letting go of GOOD dick, but if they are acting up outside the bedroom, there is no way they deserve time inside the bedroom. A sacrifice I am very willing to make to train a man.

*PAUSE*

Yes I said train a man, don't act like we don't, and fellas don't act like you don't train your woman. We both feel we are super accomplished when we think we have outsmarted or out-maneuvered our partners, but just when that happens we realize that's what they wanted to begin with and now we feel stupid. Get over it, because its inevitable

*RESUME*

It's time to stop wearing tight jeans like lil wayne and the The New Boys and putting on big boy pants and taking care of what needs to go down in the bedroom. Stop trying to spend more time in the mirror fixing up your hair and more time looking at my facial expressions when you hit it from the back and go deep. Stop asking me to do some homo-erotic sexual acts and fuck me like you want pussy and not dick.

~THAT IS ALL~

Not So Common Knowledge

Things we should know, but a lot men and women don't.

MEN---->
- If you forget to call a woman back, she remembers every single time, and will use it against you when its to her benefit. So it may seem insignificant to you, but you will be in a world of angst later.
- Flowers and chocolates will always be a good idea, but the type of flowers and chocolates vary for every woman.
- Hearing not just listening to the boring crap your woman says will set you apart from other men who are not put up on "game" like you.
- Making her choose between you and her friends will make her crazy. If the two of you break up, that's when the crazy comes out, because she doesn't have friends to help get over you so she takes it out on you. That's why its good to have separate friends AND mutual friends.
- Get TiVo or DVR it will help your relationship GUARANTEED
- Don't tell a woman you want a relationship if you still got side pieces and hoes in your phonebook. She will find out and you will lose out on a good woman
- Calling a woman a hoe is like her calling you a nigga instead of a man.
- I don't agree with cheating, but if you are gonna do dirt, be smart. Don't give your woman, keys to the apartment, passwords to social network sites, or the number to your homies. Don't give your hoe any real info or let her come to your place she will show up and get you caught up.
- No matter how you feel about it for a woman SEX does not equal Love, but it is very emotional for her. Most women confuse their emotional connection with men she has slept with as love, because nobody ever told her its not the same emotion. So don't tell her you love her when you nut if you don't. She will most likely get confused.

WOMEN---->
- Your girlfriends only know so much about men. So stop asking them for advice and get some male friends that can help you out.
- You see these trophy wives in the movies and on TV, them hoes get divorced left and right, the ones that marry ballers and last are the ones that have goals and jobs of their own.
- Just because you learn how to cook and clean doesn't make you less of a woman. It has nothing to do with him, but take pride in keeping your house in order.
- Be appreciative when your man is trying. He deserves a good woman like you deserve a good man.
- Instead of knocking strong black men down with your nagging and negativity, build him up. Just because your girlfriends are jealous they don't have a good man like you, don't play into mob mentality when you know he treats you like a queen. "I wouldn't never let a nigga do me like that" *mental thought should be* "bitch that's why you don't have a man now" Unless he ain't shit then she right. Basically think for yourself.
- If you're not ready and he leaves because of it he didn't value you to begin with and isn't worth the time or tears.
- If he treats you right and doesn't do dirt, don't cheat on him, you don't mesh with him and men take it way harder than women do when they get cheated on. He's a good man that will hold it against every chick that follows.
- Once you do something freaky in the bedroom, there is a standard set. He knows you will do it, because you have, so don't do anything you wouldn't want to repeat.
- Don't let others dictate your SELF-esteem. The only one that can judge you is God and yourself. Love of self should come first before anyone can love you or you can love them.

A Personal Goal

I have taken it upon myself to try and post something to the blog everyday to get myself in the writing mood, so I don't slack so much and wait for the moment to strike me, but to take it. I won't count this one as today's entry but I come up with something, hopefully profound to say. :-)

Love Doesn't Owe You....& Neither Do I

When it comes to the affairs of the heart, most people have been burned at least once. It's one of those things that you are almost guaranteed now-a-days. So when I see men and women being so cynical it hurts my heart a little.

*PAUSE*

Some of you are probably wondering how I could say something like that, when I talk so much about how I don't want to find love and this that and the other. Let me be clear, I think Love exists, and i'm sure I will encounter it again, but I don't believe in the institution of marriage. I think there are to many dysfunctional people in today's society for there to be a positive chance for a lot of marriages to happen let alone last. I will find love again and again, loving my friends, loving my career and who knows I may even have a child one day.

*RESUME*

Now i'm sure there are other people that think and feel the same way I do about the topic at hand. Love happens, heart-break happens, its all in how you deal with it defines who you are and what future potentials will think about you. Just because you were hurt by someone doesn't entitle you to be a control freak in your next relationship. I recently started talking to this nice Island man. He was sexy, heavy accent, dreads, chocolate skin (basically my type), but he played into to many stereotypes of Island folk and people with a broken heart. I'm too much of a free spirit to let some man control who I hang out with. He met me 3 days before he got super possessive and controlling about what I do and who I go see. Paranoia and jealousy is never okay with me in relationships. Can you say "buh-bye"?

Cosmic Karma doesn't owe anyone anything and neither does the next person you date. They are there to provide you with alternatives to your ex, after all they are your ex for some reason. You were heart-broken, SO THE FUCK WHAT, it happens to just about everyone. Take the life lesson and move on. Stop being straight up ignorant to people you are attempting to court, maybe some of this dysfunction will be able dissipate.

Valentine's Day

This is probably the most ridiculous of holidays, because its fairly biased and lacking in true emotion and meaning. Guys frantically buying last minute gifts and flowers for women that think the only real V-day gift they have to give their man is a weak blow job and the same pussy he gets every night. Society has put on this illusion of fake romanticism and expects every poor girl to expect everything under the sun from her significant other without putting in work and getting him something he really wants, and this is just the people that have significant others. The single people are crazy with it. Men being thirsty and women getting depressed. It's not a good look on anyone to be so desperate for love or sex on this one specific day that you are almost willing to do anything.

Take for instance a young man named Daryl, that I met on Valentine's Day. He is a very attractive young man, tall, fair skinned, nice features, but the disease known as Thirst had attacked him and taken over something fierce. I was casually leaving the bank after having deposited my check and i'm feeling rather chipper and upbeat, and like a predator in the jungle, he pounces, "Aye lil mama". *thoughts in my head* "Nigga ain't nothing little about me and i for damn sure ain't ya mama" but as I keep walking towards my car without acknowledging him I can tell he's not giving up that easy. He jogs to catch up to me so I have no choice but to stop and wonder what ingenious pick-up line he will try to persuade me with. This fool comes with something semi-original, but yet so basic. "Ma, you got some pretty toes and you looking right"..."I can tell you keep yourself feeling and looking right" *PAUSE* I'm thinking you don't know me don't say stuff like that. I mean I do, but so not the point. so I take his number and hop in my car, not giving a second thought to the young man well other than to tell this funny story to my girlfriends and now to post on my blog.

I get holiday's off of work and school, so as far as i'm concerned Valentine's day is not a Holiday. It's a day pushed on us by greed & capitalism. It is a fluff day where you can make up for any lack of attention and a day forced on us to be happy and filled with love. If i'm mad at my significant other, I don't care what day it is, i'm still gonna be mad at him. So to say the least, I only celebrate it to show those around me that I do love them, so I make my gifts, something that will last a while and not just for the night. I am in Love with Love of family and friends, but I'm not gonna get depressed or obsessive over my mate. I just wish more people would realize that its about showing those around you that you care about them and love them in addition to the everyday things, not as a substitution or to make up for anything. I hope everyone had a great V-Day, but appreciates everyone that they have in their life even tho the day is over.

Nothing is Sexier...

Nothing is sexier than a man being a man. If I wanted you to be soft and gentile I would find a woman.
Nothing is sexier than a woman being a lady. Being a sexual person and being a hoe are two different things.
Nothing is sexier than men taking care of house and home before flossing to their friends.
Nothing is sexier than women providing for self instead of expecting to be taken care of by a man.
Nothing is sexier than a man taking care of his children. You liked her at one point that's why you have a child together, so don't be a jerk.
Nothing is sexier than a woman learning how to take care of her house. (ie. cook, clean, decorate) Not FOR anyone, but to be proud of the place she calls her home.
Nothing is sexier than knowing when to listen and knowing when to shut the fuck up.
Nothing is sexier than knowing when its chasing and knowing when its stalking.
Nothing is sexier than a black man with an education, no kids and isn't arrogant about him being a rare commodity. To bad he's an urban legend.
Nothing is sexier than a black woman aspiring for something higher than video model, like a doctor, lawyer, or writer.
Nothing is sexier than being aware of your sex appeal but still being humble about it.
Nothing is sexier than loving the one you're with while staying away from the side pieces

The Truth Is...

These are some truths in my life and what some of my friends have experienced. So enjoy.

The truth is I don't see myself being with you, so please stop calling me, texting me, IMing me, tweeting me, facebook messaging me, basically stalking me.
The truth is I may have forgiven you, but I haven't forgotten so I can't trust you.
The truth is loving you was easy, leaving you was hard.
The truth is if you were "getting money", you wouldn't need me to pick you up from the homies house because your mom needs her car back.
The truth is life is hard for everyone, you are not special.
The truth is if I wanted a soft sweet gentile man, i'd find a woman.
The truth is the perfect mate doesn't exist but the perfect mate for you is out there.
The truth is a lot of women go into relationships hoping they can change their partner.
The truth is a lot of men go into relationships hoping their partner won't change.
The truth is I really don't care about your problems or how to solve them but because you value my opinion I will listen and give you some advice.