He Makes Me Better...

I got lost in a sea of doubt brought on by my past relationships. I let what others did to me dictate how I acted in the beginning. I am truly sorry I did that to you. You are a better man than my last and the strength I need. I can't promise I won't have crazy moments, but this crazy moment is over. I see clearly now and I won't take you for granted. You give me butterflies when i'm around you, you make me feel cutesy. I want to spend nights cuddled up with you watching movies and then letting those movies watch us. I want everything easy in a relationship, so I can  have the fight for everything hard. You brighten my day with your nicknames and jokes. You make me think and keep me on my toes. I'm so used to stupid boys, that I wasn't using my intellect to max capacity. You challenge my mind for the better, you challenge me to be better, and you call me on my bullshit. The times when i'm not thinking and just say whatever, I think about it later and realize the stupidity. All in all, he makes me happy :)

My blind spot is no longer hidden...

I may have put to much pressure on what I wanted from him. So much so that I was blinded by my own desires instead of seeing you for you. Maybe we are in two different places, better yet, we clearly are. I thought  I could have you, the way I wanted and not the way it is. It makes me sick, because you proved my little internal theory right. No woman should pursue a man, because if he doesn't want her as bad or more than she wants him, he will never stay. In certain moments you make it seem like you're all about me, but I realized that was when it was convenient for your schedule. No i'm not used to being second place, but I know the difference between second and last. I'm not a patient woman, and It may be rude on my part to ask for others patience, but I am who I am. If you don't like it, then WALK, I don't hold it against you. You simply were not strong enough for me. So as I close this mini story, I hope you realize, you lost a good woman, you threw me to the ground and bruised my ego, but I will get the one that's right for me when hes ready to peel off the thick skin and get to my juicy center.

I keep getting asked..

Why are you single?

Long answer short, if I fucking knew don't you think I would be in a fucking relationship.

I will give you that for a long time, I wasn't interested in being tied down. I came out of my shell and blossomed late, and I wanted to explore what I really liked before I settled for something I knew. (The basis of my soon to be finished book "More Than You Can Handle"). So now that I have figured that out, I am ready to date and be in a monogamous relationship. But for some reason unknown to me, No matter how conservative or liberal I am, I have dudes lusting for my curves instead of my mind. Its flattering, because I love me, but what does that say about the vibe I put out there. So fellas tell ya cute friends I'm looking and ladies tell ya homeboys you got a cute friend. I am on the prowl and feeling good about where I am ;)

In Like...

Since I met you, you make me feel some type of way.

Looking forward to the stolen moments alone

Hoping nobody walks in the room

To steal your attention

My friends ask me who has me smiling

I tell them something new

I look at you like a mountain I want to climb

Slowly working my way up

Caressing your body

Discovering all the peaks

Lust in my eyes

Intrigue in my heart and

Connection in my mind

I struggle with building a relationship,

Because I don’t know the proper mental preparation for our correlation

I’m intimidated by your masculinity

But I desire the epitome of all that you may offer.

Flavor of the Month: March

I love March, because my birthday is the last day of it. So the flavor is is me. A little self absorbed I know, but I love birthdays, mine especially. It is a celebration of life and a year of accomplishments past. So plan on hearing lots and lots of stuff about what i'm doing and who I'm hanging with. Love you all mucho!