Is it Ever Okay?

IS IT EVER OKAY to call someone after 4 months and ask them if they still have ill-feelings towards you?

IS IT EVER OKAY to not let love happen because you're scared?

IS IT EVER OKAY for your friends to try and replace your significant other?

IS IT EVER OKAY to let the pursuit of love rule your world?

IS IT EVER OKAY to stop living your life because someone is no longer in it?

IS IT EVER OKAY for social networking sites to replace your real life adventures?

IS IT EVER OKAY to have children out of wedlock?

IS IT EVER OKAY to leave the one you're with in search of a happier truth?

IS IT EVER OKAY for you to let happiness leave your heart, without it being taken away?

She’s Crazy, He’s a Liar

The average relationship today comes down to the bare foundation of the girl being crazy and the guy just being a liar. Now before you go jumping down my throat saying you don't agree with me hear me out.

The girl/woman usually has ideals about what she wants out of a relationship. Now mind you the females crazy can come in different shapes and forms; the jealous crazy, the bitter girlfriends telling her stuff crazy, the mentally unstable crazy, and the she's been hurt before crazy. Depending on the woman it can also vary with how well she hides her crazy. She can show it on the first encounter or she can hide it until after the wedding. This is what makes women so complicated, you never know what you are going to get.

• The Jealous Crazy- she is jealous of anything from other females in your life to video games of even your job.
  
• The Bitter Girlfriends Telling Her Stuff Crazy- She listens to her girlfriends who haven't been able to keep a relationship about relationships. She needs to find her own mind or you are destined to be seeking the approval of up to 5 women not just the one you're dating
  
• The Mentally Unstable Crazy- This usually comes from trauma in her life (i.e. rape, abuse, addiction) or just plain genetics
  
• The She's Been Hurt by Men before Crazy- She has had her heart broken so she tends to take it out on every man that follows. This is probably the most common of crazies.
  

The boy/man has his own ideals about relationships and what he wants. Unlike women, male lies come in different shapes and forms but are very easy to spot; the overcompensated macho liar, the intentional liar, the lie of omission. Depending on how a man is raised determines what kind of liar he is.

• The Overcompensated Macho liar – He lies about his masculinity to fit in with other guys. He's a tough guy to show off, but really is just a big softy
  
• The intentional Liar- He lies about any and everything he can to get ahead with the ladies. This guy is also known as "the player", "the pimp", or "the man". He gets lots of girls, but lies to all of them to make sure he keeps them.
  
• The Liar of Omission- He lies to you by telling you almost the whole truth. He conveniently leaves out important details. Yeah he's riding in that Mercedes he bought, it just happens to be bought with drug money. He tells you the story that sounds innocent, but really it's because the truth is so horrific or disappointing you would probably stop talking to him.
  

You can totally disagree with my reasoning, that's cool, but think about every reason you have ever broken up with a guy or girl. Is it because they were crazy and/or a liar?

Reasons Why a Single Woman is Bitter

In no particular order, I feel like these are the top reasons why single women are bitter in life.

• She has been cheated on by every man she has ever dated.
  
• She hangs out with other bitter single women
  
• She can't find a date and it turns into a vicious cycle of frustration and scaring off potential mates
  
• She has low self-esteem and constantly blames others
  
• All of her friends are getting married and she keeps being a bridesmaid
  
• Regrets from past relationships
  
• Doesn't know how to deal with heart ache and/or break ups
  
• She has an unrealistic ideal of what relationships should be and the men she picks constantly fall short
  

Am I Even Ready?

This post is going to show my vulnerability a little bit, so be easy on the feedback.

I am a 22 year old young vibrant woman. By society's standards, I should be making moves towards finding a job/career and looking for a serious partner so as to spend the rest of my life with. If you know me personally you know I have been engaged twice, never married but engaged to who I thought could be the love of my life. It's difficult to admit, but I keep looking at men being the problem why I haven't settled down with one or even slowed my flirtatious behavior. I have yet to look at myself as the problem. I never even fathomed that maybe I wasn't ready for a grown up relationship, because I try to be focused and put together for myself not really opening my eyes to the possibility of another person to share my life with. I get so focused on not being called a girl that it takes away from me maturing as a woman. I know how to be a grown up independent woman, but do I know how to be a grown up woman in a committed relationship? The short answer would be no. I can logically process the needs of how to love a man, and how to let him love me, but to put in motion and carry through with my own emotion is a little bit more difficult for me to grasp. I know it is something I want in the future, because I have made strives to make it happen, but I think until I am ready I will just keep playing the field and dating who I like.

Tender Kisses

People always seem to underestimate the intimacy of a kiss. After many years of marriage a couple may not realize the spark once felt from a tender kiss. It's the little things that can come with them that turn into some of the most beautiful moments shared with partners.

She is in the kitchen cleaning up after an exquisite meal prepared by her husband. He walks up behind her to surprise her with kisses. The gentle touch of his soft lips moving down her neck making her body shake and shiver with anticipation of where he will go next. In each subtle movement she grows anxious to feel his hands caress every inch of her body. Knowing how ticklish she is, he knows just where to move his hands to make her spine tingle and make her bite her lips so she doesn't let out screams and moans. She wants him; she wants him more now than ever imagined. They move towards the bedroom, and he places her in front of him. He admires her backside and she enjoys the way he holds her body; the comfort of his strong hands settles her restless heartbeat. The way he presses his lips against her skin to move it down her back, his lips so warm and silky smooth to the touch. He inhales the sweet scent of her vanilla body wash and jasmine shampoo delighted by how soft and supple the arch of her back is, and the bounce of her curls. The arch becomes more defined and extremely tender to the touch with every glide of his hands caressing the shape of her hips. Unable to any longer control his temptations, he grabs her and throws her to the bed, ripping off her lace underwear like it was a sheet of paper; he begins to ravish her body. The moans are delicate but the screams of ecstasy exact and unmistakable. Their passion is sweet and their love lasting, but this night of pleasure forever burned in their minds.

Sexy vs. Skanky Music Edition

Sexy: Trey Songz- Neighbors Know My Name

Skanky: Plies- You

Sexy: Elizabeth Withers- Be With You

Skanky: Lil Kim- Magic Stick

Sexy: Aaliyah- More than a woman

Skanky: Gucci Mane ft. Lil Kim & Ludacris- Freaky Girl Remix

Sexy: Jazmine Sullivan -Lions, Tiger, & Bears

Skanky: Trina- I Gotta

Sexy: Marvin Gaye

Skanky: Lil Wayne

Sexy: Lena Horne

Skanky: Khia

 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that today's music has lost its sexy and is full on skanky. Where is the real R&B, the real baby making music, the real sexy? It is lost on sex appeal and album sales. It's about fucking and not love making. Where is music headed?

Sometimes a smile is just a smile…

I don't know if it's the disease known as "THIRST" but it seems as though people can't be pleasant and friendly without it coming across as more. A smile and hello does not and never will equate to "please fuck me". It doesn't happen, and usually, not always, but usually the people that think so suffer from THIRST. It plagues the nation as a growing epidemic, infecting social networking sites, instant messengers, and cell phones. The growing rate of people having unhappy dispositions I feel has an effect on this. So many people being angry cause the ones that are still happy to be forced to interact and come across as flirty instead of friendly. Misreading a signal is acceptable, but communication can prevent unwanted advances and awkward moments.

To Be or Not To Be: Pierced

Okay so I've been thinking a lot about this, and I'm not sure if I want to do it or not. So I need some feedback, I want to get the upper hood of my clitoris pierced. It's Crazy right? But for some reason, it just seems wild and exciting and if I can't get down with it, I can always take it out. I know there is a bunch of risk involved with it but that's why I need some input. The young and stupid says go for it, but the young and logical says WTF are you thinking? So if you have any input I am more than willing to listen.

What does your underwear say about you?

In case you weren't sure these are my opinions, and my "General Attorney" warning is that my opinions and views may differ from yours and I don't discount that what I say may be interpreted falsely, but its my fucking opinion. If you don't like what I have to say you are more than welcome to not read anything I post. Now where was I? Aahhh yes, the different types and what they mean, oh did I not mention this is about mens underwear, and how some women might view them.

1. Briefs aka tighty whiteys: the bottom of the guy code food chain. Men that will wear these obviously have a stick up their butts, because they don't know how to let loose and have some fun. Let your balls breathe a little. This type of underwear really only works on boys age 13 and under. Pretty much as soon as you hit puberty you should be moving up.
   
2. Boxers: These are probably the most common underwear I have ever come across. They give you a lot of range of motion, not really holding anything in place, but definitely act as a barrier between they ass and their pants.
   
3. Boxer Briefs: These are probably my personal favorite to see on a man. They have the snugness of briefs, but the length and comfort of boxers. A nice little combination that is appealing and from what I hear quite comfortable.
   
4. Commando: The least common and pretty damn nasty in my opinion. I'm not about to expect you to mess with my pussy as its gaining warmth and friction from not having panties on, so don't think you are going to get your sweaty balls licked because you decided not to wear any underwear. It unhygienic and why would you want to walk around just straight free? It's not even naked, because that I can understand, its fully clothed just without underwear. Maybe I'm missing something?

What’s the difference?

A question was posed to me last night; is there a difference in being promiscuous and being a ho? By dictionary definition, they are the same thing, a person lacking in morals who has a lot of sex. When you break down the words and how they are used in society, being a ho has a way more negative connotation associated with it than being promiscuous. Being a ho is having lots of sex for a purpose, money, bragging rights, or material possessions etc. Being promiscuous is for the purpose of having sex for the sake of liking sex. Both with the lack of moral fiber and respect for self thus the reason they engage in so many sexual acts with multiple partners. Is there a difference yes and no, I guess it really just depends on the way you want to look at it.

Can you have one without the other?

One of my favorite movies/TV shows is "Sex and the City" and I don't know about you all but I am beyond geeked to see the second movie coming out very soon. But I want to talk about Samantha, one of the leading ladies. She is the most promiscuous of the group, and when she falls in love that completes her, but when she is no longer having sex her love is no longer fulfilling. Which begs the question: can you have fulfilling sex without love or a fulfilling love without sex? When you look at shows and movies that center around people and their sexual encounters, it seems to me that the way society is programmed people don't seem to be happy with one, and if they go their whole life without sex or without love they will be horribly bitter in their older age. Single life gets portrayed as people forcibly being sad, alone and/or unfulfilled. I don't know about everyone else, but some of my most fulfilling and happy memories are from single life. Don't get me wrong I had quite a few filling memories committed to someone that I could not and would not replace for anything. I like the relationship life but I LOVE the single life, which is why most of the time I want to be single, but sometimes I wish I had my cupcake moments. I guess if you believe in fairy tales, prince charming and happily ever after, the world is your oyster, because more of the population has this feeling and relationships with love are meant for you. If you believe in unattached realism, welcome to single life with the possibility of a partner.

The Myth, The Legend, The Stereotype

You ever notice how people make assumptions because of physical attributes on how people perform in bed? I think it’s hilarious some of the different ones I hear about. I have collected ones that I can think of and ones that I talked to my friends about:

· Skinny guys all have big dicks
· Big girls give the best head
· Black guys don’t eat the pussy
· Guys with tongue rings are gay or eat a lot of pussy
· Guys that know how to dance know how to fuck
· Asian guys have small dicks
· White girls give good head
· Latin girls have hot pussy
· Hot people aren’t good at sex because they never had to be
· Asian girls are always tight
· Girls with tongue rings give head
· White and Latin girls are easy
· Big guys have small dicks
· Asian girls are all loud
· Jamaican girls fuck better
· The older a man gets the better he is in bed
· Black girls are boring in bed
· Preacher kids are the biggest freaks
· White girls love anal
· Big-Breasted women like having their breast sucked
· Red heads are sluts
· Pigtails are love handles
· The quiet ones are the freakiest

Feet, Foot, Gross…

I am noticing a growing fetish for men and women that involve feet play. Men liking to suck toes and having their dick rubbed on by feet. I am utterly disgusted by this, not with the people who enjoy the fetish, but the thought of someone rubbing and sucking on my toes is gross. I can barely stand getting a pedicure because they have to rub on my feet, but sexual acts revolving around feet, NO THANK YOU. When I hear about it, it makes me wonder what it is about a foot that is so appealing sexually. I try to put myself in their shoes, no pun intended, to see why high arches and perfectly pedicured toes gets a guy dick so hard he just wants you to rub it with your feet.

I don’t knock anyone for having fetishes, because I have my own “fetishes”, but mine don’t get that extreme, well in my opinion. A little hair pulling, a little choking, a little biting and the adrenaline is pumping and flowing making the orgasm so intense it makes you push your pain threshold a little further, but that’s just me. Besides all this, I bring it up because I was fooling around with a new guy and ya’ll know me, I’m not stranger to a little adventure, but when he told me he couldn’t get off without a girl rubbing their feet on his dick I almost threw up. Please ask a girl if she’s cool with something before you get in the bedroom because you will both walk away mad as hell.

Baby Mania...

What is with all this Baby Mania? I am sick of everyone either having babies, about to have babies or trying to get someone to have a baby. Maybe more people should  stop producing babies and start saving money. Invest in some effing condoms because its a lot cheaper than raising a kid you can't afford anyway.

Rules for the Single Woman to Live By

1. Don’t judge a man by his car. He could be riding on ~E~ or it could be his mommas. You are in no position to look down on a man for the car he drives your car is no better, and he gets from point A to point B.
2. Approach a guy you are interested in, the worst he could say is that he’s not interested. Rejection is hard for guys as well, be sympathetic not a bitch. 
3. It doesn’t matter when you have sex with a guy if he doesn’t respect you before his mind won’t change after.
4. If you are tired of the same ole same ole, reinvent yourself develop new interests
5. Stay away from big controversial topics like religion, politics, and matrimony on a first date
6. If you can’t support yourself you need to work on you before you can be with someone else. (i.e. If you can’t afford to take yourself out to dinner don’t expect someone else to)
7. If you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to love you, or for that matter date you?
8. Learn to listen to your date. Don't hog the conversation talking about you, because he will think you are uninterested in him, and quite selfish. Ask questions. If you aren't interested then why did you accept the date in the first place?
9. Most of all, always, and I do mean always, bring some make-up remover if you should happen to spend the night, so you don’t look like a raccoon in the morning.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore…

I don’t want to talk about the lack of men, the bad sex and horrifying encounters that I go through anymore. Mainly because I don’t want ya’ll to think all I have is bad sex. I guarantee there are some times that have been out of this world amazing, that I have failed to talk about. Stories fill in the gaps of my blog and advice/opinion deals with the rest. So if you read my blog please feel free to suggest something you may want my opinion on if you feel like I would have an interesting take on things.

It's All About Location...

Some of my girlfriends were talking about they can never find decent "dateable" men. So i posed the question, Where do you go to meet them? almost all of them say I don't really go out and when I do its to a bar or club. With a blank stare on my face, I say no wonder you don't find anyone dateable, most of those men are not there to find love they are there to find booty. In general, I don't go out much to bars and clubs, but I often frequent coffee shops and bookstores, as well as art galleries and other fun spots that I happen to meet young and old eligible men worthy of courtship and serious commitment. Now mind you the young women I keep close to me as dear friends are educated, independent, and career-goal oriented definitely worthy of companionship, yet still single. It honestly baffles me. My conclusion drawn from this is that its the pool that they are pulling from not the ones they are pulling. I keep telling them to find a different pool. This can come from a variety of places.

1) Step outside your race- Me being a black female, a lot of my friends are black. Not all, but a lot of them are. The community they grew up in projects the image of only dating inside your race and not really venturing out, because of stereotypes and ignorance in the world. And the biggest societal influence is parents tell their sons and daughters "Don't bring home a white (girl/guy)" Just to let you all know its 2010 I think we are a little beyond race being an issue in finding a mate that makes you happy. (Well at least we should be)

2) Go different places-This could be as simple as go to a different Starbucks or Jamba Juice to mix up your routine or as extravagant as traveling to different states and countries. Living in Hawaii, I was exposed to different races and cultures which in turn exposed me to a lot of different penis. (sorry if you felt that was crude, but its the truth) Go the extra mile to meet someone new even if you don't ever date them, you have experienced a new pool that you can dip into. As far as travel, you could meet the love of your life in an airport and never know it because you were to into your own world to be bothered.

3) Befriend new people- I'm not saying date everyone that ever hits on you, but ask them are they open to the idea of friendship. Good people often surround themselves with other good people. If nothing romantic comes from you two dating, they may know someone that will be the one true love you are looking for.