Complete Me...

When you embrace my essence, grab hold of me.
Hold my hips when you pull me close
Wrap your arms around me when you kiss me
Grab hold of my entire being with the look in your eyes.
Let me feel your spirit, your soul, your passion.
Penetrate my thoughts with your intellect
And allow me to release my inhibitions.
Be every fantasy, every desire, every euphoric thought
Release my mind and then relax my body.
Complete my sexuality with your sensuality.

Feeling Free

Blessed with opportunities to make my dreams happen.

Blessed with friends worthy of becoming family.

Blessed with loved ones that are supportive.

Blessed to be alive another day to enjoy life's intricacies.

Just blessed and feeling free.

Just a Note on the 3 F's

If you're not fucking me, feeding me, or financing me, then your opinion on how I live my life is irrelevant. While I take advice from all sorts, in the end the decision is mine. With that being said, keep all unsolicited advice to yourself!

Lying to myself...

This has been on my mind for a while, and I need to get it off my chest. I set myself up for failure fucking with you. So I have nobody to blame but me when I got hurt. I should have known better when you couldn't give me a straight answer about yourself. I should have known better when you didn't make time for me. I should have known better when I realized you were broken. I didn't listen to the signs because you were attractive. I let your weaknesses become mine, and I'm so much stronger than that. So thank you getting me back to me, because I needed that. You were not it for me, but you have brought me one step closer to being ready for the one. I appreciated our time together, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Vacation?

Due to the construction that is going on in our office I have two weeks off of work. Within that time, I would like to share that I am going to be working heavily on my book! With a big push to finish before I go back to work. Wish me luck, and hopefully I will be able to pop in every now and again to update the blog :)

I Won't Respect A Man...

• that wants to lay with me behind the back of his significant other
• that treats women like pawns in a game
• that has potential, but is too scared to recognize it
• that moves heaven and earth for those around him that treat him like dirt and not for people that would do anything for him
• that intentionally toys with the emotions of others for their own gain
• that acts more like a woman than I do
• that is in his emotions more than I am (If I wanted a bitch, I would go get one)

I Can't Do This Anymore...

For all my lovers, past and present...

I don't want to change a man, because I know that's impossible, but I do want you to push yourself to be a better man. You should wake up every morning hoping to be better than you were the day before. I'm the type of woman that will ride for her man, as long as he gives me something worth riding for. I will fall in love with your potential. I will fuck the shit out of your aspirations. I will hold down your ambitions. We can chill when we made it, because the grind never sleeps and happiness is at the top together. I need a powerful man to compliment my dominating presence. Push me to be better, stronger, wiser and more than when you met me, because I want the best out of you that I already know you can give. (we wouldn't be talking if I didn't see the capacity or your nature.)
My mind keeps telling me to be patient, and my heart, my heart keeps rushing me towards the wrong people. I've put myself out there one time too many, and I'm just tired of not having anyone there to catch me. I'd rather catch myself than rely on someone else. So with that being said, farewell to the old lovers, potential boo thangs, and occasional fuck toys. I am no longer using you nor allowing you to use me, I am moving on. To get between my legs, you better be talking more than for old times sake or some smooth line, because for you I am closed. My grind is all that matters till someone opens my eyes to something different.

Missed the old me, so I'm back..

If you're real then you won't be shocked by how I am. The truth only hurts those that lie to themselves. If I have ever done anything well, it is be transparent about who I am, and how I feel. If I hide from you, it's because I didn't trust you. Fake mothafuckas get fake information. You don't deserve truth because you can't handle it. So miss me when I'm gone, if you're real, then you have nothing to worry about. My grind gets better when i'm not distracted by the bullshit of others. My heart suffers, but it is a chance I am willing to take and a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Not Sure Which is Worse...

• Thinking you would date me or Knowing you wouldn't and messing with you anyway
• Believing you cared about me or Thinking it was more than just sex
• Trusting you with any part of me or Not trusting my instincts about you
• Letting go of who I was or Not bringing my lessons learned with me
• Treating you like a Man or Ignoring that you were just a boy
• My cold heart or My freezer where it used to be

I'm Tired...

I'm tired of being what everyone else wants me to be. I used to not care if I hurt people, because I knew people didn't care if they hurt me. I wanted to change, for the better. But now I miss the old me, at least then I didn't get hurt, because I didn't catch feelings. Might need to take  few steps back and get a different focus, because what I'm doing isn't working. Miss me with the bullshit, because love is a joke and heart is for the weak. We're done here, thanks for playing, but this round is for me, my career, and my family. I'm done crying, I'm done hurting, I'm done feeling inadequate for other people. Welcome back to the old me, because I would rather be alone than with some that makes me feel alone.

RUN..from what?

I don't run scared from a conversation that needs to be had. I want the blunt honest truth when you speak to me. I don't have time for sugar coating or spared feelings. Be forthcoming with information and be clear with your words, your actions, and intentions.

Facts about the Diva

I have strong words when I write, speak or think. If any man can’t handle my words, he doesn't deserve my actions. If I express how something you did made me feel and you get butt hurt and shut down, what am I supposed to do about it? I refuse to hold my tongue because you are too weak to hear some feedback. Every woman at some point is programmed to bite their tongue and not express themselves. I am no longer that girl. I did that for far too long and all it did was make me sad and get me hurt. I don’t give attitude for things that don’t matter (i.e. not calling me back, cancelling plans, what movie to pick). We will have a conversation, but you won’t hear attitude. You will hear my wrath if you try to belittle my feelings, especially if you get more hurt about things than I do. I know my words can cut, but don’t take it personal, listen to the words and their meanings and not how they make you feel. Get the point I’m trying to make.

Fellas Take Note...

Too wrapped up in your past to see what's in front of you. I won't wait around forever for you to figure out what you want from me. I'm not a plaything to toy with whenever you break up with your girlfriend, have some free time in your schedule, or you want to sneak into my bed. Don't talk to me like a girl friend or a best friend, when your only intention is to smash. I don't want mixed feelings. Either you want me to be your girl or you want me to be a fuck. But I'm done playing these lets flirt, lets kiss, lets fuck, and then hang out and go to the movies type tendencies. That's what the fuck relationships are. If you're scared to give me a title, then you don't need to be between my legs. There are no friends with benefits in my world. If I'm fucking you, we're probably not friends. If you hurt me once I'll never forget, and I promise when I'm done with you the only person crying is you.

Thinking out loud...

What about me says

That I'm not worth the risk

That I'm not long term

That my past is my present

That any misconception you have about me came from me

That I'm interested in doing anything to hurt you

Why is it my heart yearns for those completely unavailable
to care for me the way I care for them?
I have the biggest heart, with the hardest shell.
I don't want to cry anymore.
I don't want to be vulnerable anymore.
I don't want to hurt anymore.
I don't give a damn about what happened before me.
I just want to be happy.
Why is that so much to ask for?

Facts about the Diva

I used to be the type of chick that had a man for different things. I kept a roster so to speak.

• The guy that would help me with car stuff. (fixing, cleaning, shopping for, or anything that has to do with a car)
• The guy that was there just to listen to me. (girlfriend drama, boyfriend drama, work drama, family drama etc.)
• The guy for his body. (everything about our relationship was carnal and passionate and only when I needed it)
• The guy I bring home (He is perfect on paper and gets my family off my back about getting serious and getting married)
• The guy I bring around my friends. (My friends loved him, because he was perfect for what we needed. finding the best places to go and always knows how to have fun.)

Usually each one lacked a certain something that prevented me from making him my boyfriend. But now that I am in my mid-20s it’s time to calm all that down and start thinking about a future with someone special. I have sowed my wild oats and I’m ready to be a girlfriend and then wife.I don’t need one man that can do all of the above, but I need someone well-rounded. I have learned to be a therapist, chef, nurse, and provider, so bring something to the table. Balance me out and let’s build something people are jealous of.

Facts about the Diva

Masturbation is an art, anyone can make themselves cum, but are you so in sync with your body that your pleasure is from head to toe. A full body orgasm that leaves you satisfied. I don't trust anyone who doesn't masturbate and I feel bad for those who don’t know how to do it. Treat yourself to a little alone time, feel out your body, get to know every inch of it. I love all of me, because I know all of me.

Bitch I'm Feeling Fabulous

Facts about the Diva

42DDD/42F

38" waist

53" hip

I have a figure, it’s fluffier in some place than others and it jiggles when I move. My ass is fat, but firm to touch. I love every inch of my skin from the top of my scalp to the arch in my foot. My hair is silky smooth and curly to touch. My skin is what it is, nothing about me physically defines who I am personally or tells of the actions I take or decisions I make.

Don't Let Go...

I am in a space that's new for me. I am terrified of losing you, and with each conversation I feel like I'm not saying anything right. I run off at the mouth because it is what I know. You get quiet and I don't know what to do. Feeling like my voice is hurting us and not sure how to proceed. I'm grown enough to know that it is not all about me, and mature enough to ask for help. But who do you ask when the one person that has the answer seems to be mad at you for the actions you take. I just don't want to lose you over something I'm trying to work on.

Facts about the Diva

Writing is more than a hobby. It is a passion of mine and nobody can take that away from me. If I never make a dime from writing it will never stop me from continuing my love affair with words. Live to write or write to live…Two very different statements that put you in a state of being that can rarely be understood in one conversation. That’s what writing does for me.

Boy Toys That Turn Into Bug-A-Boo's...

Get a phone call from a nigga, calling me his baby girl. Then get a text from the next dude calling me his boo. Neither one of these guys has given me a title, yet real quick to label me theirs. Talking to me like they own my pussy. We used to fuck on the regular, but I haven't seen you in months. Told both of y'all the last time we talked would be the last time we fucked. Doesn't make much sense to me to keep coming around. You didn't want me to be your girl then, and i'm pretty sure things haven't changed since then.
I know the names I get called because I enjoy my sexual conquests, but the men I take down do the same. I have "male tendencies" because I have a lot of partners, but when you were running through chicks left and right when you was cuffed up that was just a man being a man.
I don't want to wake up one day with a man that makes me feel more alone than when I was by myself. You call me up or text me to get some booty, but wouldn't dream of talking to me to take me out. You don't need my number nor do you need to act like i'm yours. I'm not yours especially if you could barely make me cum, a big reason as to why I won't keep you around. I'm not your girlfriend and you don't make me cum there is no reason to keep you. So when I stop responding or picking up just know that I've moved on to someone better. I've said my piece to you and I wash my hands of the whole situation.