Pushing The Limits

My deepest desire is to feel you.  I long for your touch, just to be near me. Painfully, all I can imagine is the way you feel inside of me. I want you badly. Ripping my clothes to shreds as you yank them off of my body. I am ready for you to ravish me. You move slowly growing the anticipation for a euphoric bliss only you can provide. I feel your hands grip my sides; you hold on tight as if I were going to let go. Your tongue finds its way to my wet pussy. Slowly penetrating my southern lips with your tongue as it darts back and forth deep inside me and back out to the lips that now engulf your mouth. Barely able to breathe anything but my natural scent you are drawn in and surrounded by the sweet taste of my juices. You make me cum. With the arch in my back you can tell I am enjoying this, so you keep going. Licking and sucking until you see me arch my back again. You make me cum. My clitoris now so sensitive to touch, you massage it to calm me down before you take back to action. My legs shaking in torturous anticipation, I want more, but can I take it. You don't wait to find an answer before you are deep inside my pussy again massaging my clit but this time with your tongue. You make me cum. My legs are weak, but I am filled with joy. I beg you to stop, but you don't listen. All you want to do is see me arch my back one last time in explosive ecstasy. You make me cum. Completely exhausted from the intense orgasam you have laid upon me, I can't take anymore. You whisper in my ear, "My dick is hard, this is just beginning". I ready myself, but nothing can prepare me for the deep penetration you are about to give me. I scream in agony, but the depth feels amazing. I am conflicted. Do I moan or do I scream? I allow this passion to take over my body, with a rush of adrenaline i am strong again. with every thrust I force back pushing the limit that much more. He goes deeper than I have ever felt before and when he explodes inside of me I feel him as his cum runs out and drips down my thighs. He lets out a groan of intense passion similar to that of a tennis player reaching for the last stroke to win the game. He is satisfied and we collapse beside each other. Breathing deeply and utterly crippled from the thrills we have endured.

Rough Sex: Why Is Pain Pleasurable?

I notice something about myself when I got my last tattoo, the pain I felt when getting it was so intense, that at first it just made me wet, but when the area was numb to the pain all I could feel was the vibration which in turn made me cum. Don't laugh, because I know you probably are, but seriously I had this sense of euphoric pleasure. I didn't cum so hard that I arched my back like I would during sex, but I came hard enough where the tattoo artist had to stop and wait for my body to stop moving so he wouldn't mess up. It has however come up more and more in the bedroom department. Maybe its my desire for the man i am with to have more aggressive behavior, but the spanking, the pulling of my hair, makes the sex all that much better. The adrenaline rush from the pain makes it hotter and thus much more enjoyable. So where does this desire originate? any suggestions? Not that I am complaining, just a little curious.

Does The Number Matter?

When you are in the get to know you process of relationships, and you get to the more intimate details of your likes and dislikes the question arises, How many people have you slept with? in some relationships its a bomb dropping moment others its an embarrassing confession. I mean, I know in some circles, the number might be a deal breaker, and in others a completely irrelevant factor. My number is a little higher than most, but not nearly as bad as some. I think it is a unimportant factor when it comes to relationships, because my experience showed me how to do that thing you like, and if I was a virgin you would complain about how I don't know anything. It is like having your cake and eating it too, you can't always get that, especially when you are no saint yourself smashing any girl that will let you. Once the "cherry" is broken it is unimportant what the number is as long as the number stops growing with the commencement of the new relationship. So again I ask, Does the Number Matter?

Who I Am with OR without you!

I breathe life into words with my voice.

I shake souls with the sway in my hips.

I give chills when I glide my lips over you.

I penetrate your thoughts with my wisdom and intellect.

I break necks when I stride in confidence.

You make me speechless with your presence

You send chills up my spine with your voice.

You walked away from me to see if I would cry.

You called back when you realized the mistake.

I walked on with my life and with every set back it makes me stronger.

The Break-up Letter

I do not hesitate to tell you how I feel, nor do I sugarcoat the raw bitter taste of my flaws. I can articulate my speech to the point of a PhD scholar. I can also slang my words to keep it real "ya digg?" Am I stupid for even trying to be with you or are you wrong for deceiving me this far? Questions i asked myself before I entered the door of this relationship and after the demise. Yet from the moment I opened it, you seemed to be on the inside walking out. It is funny how you pursued me to begin with, yet all the while it was just the illusion of happiness being portrayed. You wanted the happily ever after of a fairy tale, with the work of turning the page to read the creator's work. You let the fantasy get the best of you, and showed more emotion than me after my favorite football team lost the Superbowl. I let you in and gave up part of my heart, and you couldn't even take care of that. Makes me glad I didn't invest too much too quickly. I still have my heart to give while the team gets built up again. go back to your lack of groupies, and I'll be onto the next one. Had to throw a little salt in the wounds, even for paper cuts ;)

Relationships are never easy..

So why do so many people make them more complicated than they already are. You add on extra restrictions and expectations when your relationship probably isn't average to begin with. You go through realizations after you make commitments and yes "it is a lie" when two days later you change your mind. Over time like 6 months understandable, over two days a lie. Stroking egos that perpetuate bad behavior is never okay. So yes if you haven't been able to tell, my new beau broke up with me this morning. I was pretty sad for like two minutes, but more upset than anything else. If I give up my groupies to be with you, that means i'm all in, so if you break up with me i'm not upset with you, i'm upset I have to build the team up again. Relationships are never easy, which is why i never take them lightly or enter them without thinking about what you probably fail to realize. People wonder why i'm single, i will tell you. When someone is interested in me they either look at my age and see inexperience or they see me sexually and not really looking for a relationship. I know what I want, and yes at this young age of 22 I know what I need out of a relationship. So when I say you probably can't handle it, I have assessed you. Your words have penetrated my mind, and you can't handle a woman like me who's actually mature and doesn't use emotion to determine what she needs. I wish people would learn to listen to me.

What kind of friend are you?

One of my closer girlfriends spit some truth that I can't help but share. In context her words were "we aren't friend's we're club friends. I consider her a homegirl not a friend" Then I thought about that concept, and mind you I feel like this is one of those known unknowns, but people rarely talk about it. You have different friends you have for different things. You wouldn't invite your club friends to a baby shower and you wouldn't invite the mommies to an after hours club. So what kind of friend are you? here are some of the kinds of friends that I have.

• Best Friend - the person that knows the most about me. Has been through thick and thin, trial after trial, ups and downs. This person would take a bullet for you as you would for them. They can go by many names: BFF, Ace Boon Coon, co-captain, Main Chick, Bottom Bitch, Family, Ace, Top Flight, the list can go on.
• Bestie - its cute, it shortened, and so are the responsibilities. This person is a rather close confidant, but probably doesn't know any of your deep dark secrets. They are the close friend of the right now era in your life, wasn't around for the college ups and downs or the drama of high school, or whatever part of your life you're in.
• Event Friends - You only take this person with you when you are going out. Whether it is to the club, a concert, a art show, live music, bowling, whatever, this is the person you bring with you. They know your fun side, your outgoing vibrant personality.
• Phone Friends - you rarely go out with these friends, but you keep them in your phone, because they are great to talk to. You might forget about them sometimes, because they aren't regulars in your life. The second you take them out of your phone, is when they call you. Great conversation, but have a tendency to be flaky if you actually invite them out. They can also be that random friend from back in the day (ie. high school, middle school, elementary school or college for my old heads) that you run into and awkwardly exchange numbers.

Love Me Here, Love Me There...

I can't really remember if I've ever talked about long distance relationships, but it is definitely something I need to get off my chest so to speak. My current beau, has lasting power which is a different speed for me. I feel as though because we aren't able to have sex, our foundation will be much more solid when we do come together. You all who know me or follow my blog, know that I love sex, and you should also know that I refuse to continue to see a man if he is whack in the bedroom. So when it comes to the whole long distance love, I feel like it can be good to an extent, and then rough on me to another. I have a healthy sex life, and to be committed to someone that is far away is difficult for me to grasp. I am a faithful woman so I don't anticipate cheating, so it raises the question, with one partner having a high sex drive and wanting to be in a faithful relationship, but being separated by thousands of miles, is it possible for it to work? I mean, I've been there done that, when my marine ex-fiance/husband was stationed in Iraq how did we keep in contact? Skype, email, and letters, but those get tired quickly when you want to have sex and all you have is your own hands. So can it work, yes? will it work always, and in ever instance, who can be sure? People tell me that if it's meant to be then it will, but what if you put in the extra work does that secure it or make it burn more quickly? I feel like there are too many factors involved to be sure. It just tears me to pieces when I want to think about it logically and its really a matter of the heart. Maybe this will be good for me, a different speed, a chance to love someone without being so cynical about it. Breathing a life of optimism into new found ventures and blossoming relationships.

Maybe its me!

My mom spoke some truth to me the other day when I was telling her about this guy that I thought was ridiculous. I was telling her that he said he missed me, but I had seen him the night before, its only been like 11 hours. So she says to me, you are cold piece, and that i'm not ready for a relationship. I kind of already knew that, but something in me told me to defend myself. Regardless, this got me thinking, about the times when I get hit on.

• When i'm nice, you think its cute to be persistent. but you don't realize, I'm not turning you down because i'm not interested, its because i'm not in a place to be with you.
• When i'm mean, you call me a bitch, or stuck-up. But you don't realize i'm trying to deter any future advances, because i'm not ready to be with you.
• When I accept and can't fulfill my obligations as a woman in your life, you call me young or a little girl. but you fail to realize you pushed up on me not the other way around.
• When I tell you i'm not ready, you push on anyway thinking "you're so smart you can fix anything". But you don't realize that I told you I wasn't ready to be with you, so this was destined to fail.

There is no way i can make you feel better and understand that I am not ready to be with anyone. If I wasn't open to a relationship to begin with, why would you think that would change if you put more expectations on me. Just like women expect men to change when they get in relationships. IF THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH ISN'T READY, YOU WILL GET YOUR HEART BROKEN WHEN THEY LEAVE YOU OR YOU BREAK UP!

Warning: She/He is not worth the trouble

I feel like people, more and more, need to come with labels. Like the surgeon generals warning labels on cigarettes. Here are some labels I feel would be helpful.

• Warning: This man will cause you to become severely bored. He has no conversation skills, and lacks intellectual depth.
• Warning: This woman will try to trap you by getting pregnant.
• Warning: This man has no ambition and will ride the coat tails of your success.
• Warning: This woman lacks any skills. She will not cook, clean, or be a fit mother to raise your little man or your princess.
• Warning: This man will get you pregnant and then leave you for a younger and/or prettier version of you.
• Warning: This woman is needy. She wants your attention all the time. No excuses!
• Warning: This man will get attached, and stalk you if you break it off

It's March Baby!!!

You know what that means, drunken nights and birthday cake. March is a wonderful month. We have such fabulous holidays like St. Patrick's day, My Birthday, and well I guess that's it. In case you didn't know, I love birthdays especially when it comes to celebrating mine. So this year, I feel like everyone is trying to go big or go home with the birthday stuff this year, so I want to go fabulous with mine, a two night event. first night: Big huge blowout at the hotel of my choice with as many people we can fit into the penthouse, second night: casual get together in same hotel of people I love and want to spend my time with. But until this glorious time, I will spend my time enjoying my friends birthdays and family birthdays, because it's a lot of you mofos in this month. So from me to you, Happy Birthday and Happy Spring.