As the page turns...

I have definitely gotten wiser as I have gotten older. Learning from my mistakes in relationships, letting stuff go that is unimportant, and just being more patient. With that being said I have time and time again re-written my 10 commandments of dating a chick like me. So maybe if I redo my list, not of requirements, but of self realizations, I can verbalize what I want and put that good vibe in the world.

1. Thou shall not be pressed - I promise this is so far from who I am its ridiculous. I won't blow up your phone looking for you if you running the streets. I want to spend time with you and if you want me you'll make the time. It's that simple. 
2. Thou shall have goals and ambitions - This is rare these days. True ambition, not just becoming the manager at the store you work at, but striving for greatness and leaving a legacy.
3. Thou shall understand the shift in society - Times have changed. Thinking about what life was like before and comparing it to now is unrealistic. While I would like to be the housewife type, because I think it would be fabulous, I understand that me achieving my goals and being a strong presence in my community would make me feel more accomplished than anything else in the world. 
4. Thou shall let him be a man - I can fix what I need fixed, I can take out the trash, I can even ask for directions. But the masculinity built from having to do it on my own can never replace the security of having you. I want you to be my man, and I will be your woman. I will cook dinner for you as long as you take out the trash. I will let you drive as long as we can get lost in happiness. Be a man and I will let you be in control.
5. Thou shall cater to his needs - Being submissive is something I have struggled with, because of my Aries nature. We are a dominant sign, fierce and strong. I have however learned submission  mastering it is another story. Although I do know of its benefits and drawbacks. 
6. Thou shall be adventurous with sex - You all know my freak flag flies high, and not every dude is like that, but the man I end up with will know the pleasures of every single thing I am open and willing to try. 
7. Thou shall never be predictable - I want to keep you guessing, to be interested in learning more. I am more than what comes to surface. We will always have a fun time and we will always have new experiences. I can be boring sometimes, because you can't be "ON" all the time, we would be exhausted. 
8. Thou shall listen when you need an ear - I am concerned with the well being of any person that I love, care about and see on a regular basis. If you need to vent, I can listen. If you need advice, I can counsel. If you need someone to hear you with no judgement, I'm your girl. We can talk it out, work it out, or just be, but my concern is genuine. 
9. Thou shall ride for the man that locks me down - Flaky females bother me, so I would never want to be one. If you can wrangle me in and keep me, I will ride for you and be that support system you need. I want my man to know that I'm here for him, as long as he knows how to be there for me. We have to be in this thing together, because I can't do it alone and I'm sure you can't either.
10. Thou shall let you be - You had a life before me and will have a life with me. I don't want you to be anything other than who you are. Don't change for me, because I won't change for you. I didn't become attracted to you for any other reason than you being you. 

Yup that's my attitude...

Don't fuck with my heart, my pussy likes it better.

We'll see..

Nothing puts me in the mood for writing like someone playing with my heart. I'm not a patient woman, and when I'm done, I'm done for good. With the exception to the rule that happened more than it should have. None the less, second chances are a foreign language to me when it comes to matters of the heart. Our attraction wasn't innocent, but my mentality that you could be something special if I gave it a little time and nurturing was. I was naive to think that a man in your situation would do anything different. Your type is the reason I don't deal with any man with kids. Your actions prove the stereotype correct. While I applaud you being responsible, your lack of balance shows me that were not on the same page. I don't have kids, but my business is my baby. I put time, energy, love, and money into making it successful, but I still made time for you. I'm no longer mad, or even irritated for that matter. You were not meant to be in my world and you played a role in teaching me a lesson. I enjoyed the time we did have, however short it was. Thinking that I will stick around to talk to a man that has no intention of being my friend or my lover, I have no patience for. I wish you all the best, because my journey will continue whether you are along for the ride or not.

I Will...

I will always be a complete and utter asshole.
I will try your patience, and play games.
I will confuse you to no end.
I will make you fall in love with me.

There are very few words to describe me completely. I live to re-define the stereotypes, associations, and molds of who I am supposed to be.

I will work harder than most people.
I will love you the way you need.
I will be there till the end of time.
I will forever be true to me.

Give Me A Reason

To love you
To trust you
To believe in you

Stop trying to force my hand,
because you dropped yours.

So Gone...

Feeling myself...

This post is gonna make me sound a little conceited, but I seriously LOVE this picture of me. Mind you it's all filter, but my cheeks and the arch in my eyebrow, it just looks surreal that this is a picture of me. So I share, while I continue to work on my upcoming posts :)

Things I'm trying to learn..

While It Lasts

Bored out of my fucking mind,
So all I think about is fucking you.
On my mind and I like it
Giving me hope for passion and lust
You hold my attention past hello and good morning
I like your mind and I love your humor
Wanting to have fun all day and all night
I know when you leave it will hurt.
Because you will,
Like they always seem to do.
I'm glad we met and could have fun,
No doubt it was perfect for now.
Enjoy the time we have left
Because you want a wife and kids
And that journey is yours to have,
But not ours to share.

If you read this...

I just want you to know that you ruined everything we had. You did that, not me, not the excuses you made for yourself and our situation, not anybody you ever interacted with when it came to me, YOU. We will never be a couple, we will never be together, so if you miss me, that's on you, don't call me, text me, add me on social networks. Just be a man and deal with your feelings. I am not a therapist, I am not your mother, you weren't even man enough to make me your girlfriend, so the big talks of me one day being your wife are a joke. Real feelings don't go away, and they haven't for me, but I won't do this with you, you are on your own. Leave me be, because I was fine before I knew you and I am fine now that you're gone. Live your life and let me live mine. We don't need to be together, and you are not it for me anymore, so move on to someone else. Don't love me, miss me, or even remember you know me.

Fantasy...

Every time I close my eyes I imagine you holding me, kissing me, and enjoying me. I remember your essence when you're not here and I yearn for the moment you return. To see your smile, to hear your laugh, to feel you next to me. My body aches to feel you inside me, wondering if you will fit perfectly like I have imagined time and time again. Before I get too excited, I wake up with my panties soaking in anticipation, only to realize you are nothing more than a fantasy. You are intangible and it makes it all that more enticing. To have you would be exciting, to chase you would be adventurous, and to wait for you to fall in my lap would be priceless. I will just have to keep my distance, because the more I am around you the more I want you and I know i can't have you.

I'm a big flirt...

but sometimes, it gets me in so much trouble. I like someone I shouldn't, and I see him far to often for me to not develop these feelings because of flirting. It doesn't help that i haven't had sex in 3 months. So with that being said, I need to stay away from men i'm tempted by, because I may do something that will make it difficult to be around said flirt trouble.

Things I want in my immediate future...

• a sober make out session with someone I want to sleep with
• a little sexting during the day to get me through the work day
• intellectual stimulation to the point it makes my panties wet
• one round of normal make me climax sex
• one round of passionate fucking
• Dinner cooked by me, enjoyed by two

I need some real life adult time, because I have been stuck in my house for far too long. I have my life back, so I want all the aspects back as well. 

One Day...

Reality is a dream when hope has left the picture.
Give me life when all that is on the horizon is death
Make me feel something I've never felt before
Pull me into a world that once forgot about my heart
Be the happy place I go to when I'm sad and feeling lonely

Necessary Cliche'

Dream of a time when you were happiest.
Let it be the motivation for your forward movement.
Watch for a similar downfall so as not to repeat the tragedy
Breathe life into all that you do and
Give yourself hope instead of waiting for it to be served.
In the most cliche' of ways,
You are the maker of your own destiny,
So make it the way you want it to be.

Music makes me...

I've been listening to a lot of music and two completely random songs keep popping in my head.. Both of which perfectly describe how I want an amazing night of body quaking, leg shaking, escapade of passion to occur. Obviously with better transition than skipping from one tempo to the next, but I feel like a good round one and two with a break in the middle. 

So we start like this right:

And then we transition to this:

When you're ready..

Tell me you want me
Show me you can handle it

Tell me I'm beautiful
Show me off in public

Tell me all the naughty things you want to do to me
Show me you can follow through

Tell me you want to be with me
Show me that you can be

Tell me your dreams, desires, and goals
Show me how I fit in that plan so we can grow

Tell me how I can support you
Show me you can support me

But don't just Tell me, Show me.

Real Talk...

What you fail to realize is that loyal pussy is rare now a days, as well as loyal dick. Your biggest issues of relationships is trust, so why would you treat a loyal chick like a bitch that doesn't know any better. When you slip up, cop out, and make excuses, someone that won't do that is always right around the corner. Waiting patiently for you to fuck up and pick up the broken pieces of heart. So sit there, mind your business, but when they leave your ass, you won't need to wonder why, cause I just told you.

My Nigga...

oh wait I forgot its black history month, and far too many self appointed negros have an opinion on what I can or can't say even though I was given the right to freedom of speech after my people fought for them. So get off your soap box and your high horses just because it is February and you know how to read  few facts that have been recycled since I was in grade school. I don't need your high and mighty bullshit, when you listen to the same comedians, actors and rappers as I do any other time of year. Spare me your hypocritical bullshit and let me live my life.

Thanks,
From Management

Words of Wisdom...

• Don't ever give the best of you to someone that isn't worth it, but then again if they aren't worth it, why are you dealing with them? 
• A girl has many things to offer, but if all she shares is her legs nobody will ever know that.
• Give me pause for any reason, and I'll show you how iced my heart is.
• Panties are for when you leave the house. At home you can be as free as a bird
• Beds are comfiest when its time to wake up, and rock solid when you try to fall asleep.
• Details are what make my heart go thump, thump. 
• Sensuality and openness about sexuality are on a thin line between character flaw and asset.
• Value of a friendship is the foundation on which two people grow together