Flirtexting: when is it to far?

Knowing the boundaries of flirtexting can in an instant make you seem like your intentions are more along the lines of one-night stand material and less like take you home to mom. Of course this is depending on what your actual intentions may be. When it comes to flirtexting i keep my rules simple, and there are only 5:

1. If you don't mean it sexually read it out loud before you send it.
2. If you would be embarrassed by your parents seeing it re-word it
3. If you wouldn't say it in person don't say it in text
4. There is a thin line between sexy and slutty with the words you say in a text so be careful
5. Naked pictures are never acceptable when flirting

For me these rules keep the texting in a safe zone so as not to welcome unwanted advances. No offense to any men that read my blog, but when it comes to sex men are simple you either want to or you don't. So it is up to women to not send the wrong signals, because it may seem harmless or unintentional, but anytime you bring up nakedness or being wet guys are going to think you want to fuck. There's no if, ands, or buts about that. Just a few helpful examples on toning down the slutty and taking it to flirty:

• Slutty: I'm taking a bubble bath getting all soaking dripping wet, wanting your body so bad.
• Flirty: I'm just chillin at home thinking about how great of a time I had with you the other day.
• Slutty: I loved the shirt you had on the other day, but it would look better on my bedroom floor
• Flirty:Where did you get that shirt, it's amazing and you wore it well.

Simple things like this can take a conversation from sexual to innocent, if you focus on the right thing. You full on may feel differently but thinking it and saying it to the person can determine where they categorize you, as in "jump-off", wifey, or just one of the guys. If you are not interested in just flirting, check out my previous entry on Phone Sex, because that's a whole different ball game. It's really easy to confuse the two when you are really excited about someone new in your life. If it helps at all think about what you want to say before you say it, as in send it to a friend, ask your roommate, anybody who is around you, to see how it could be taken. For me I write it and i text it to my best friend, if he says it sounds slutty I change it depending on if I want to sound slutty or not ;-)

Boyfriend Application

Recently since I decided to take myself off the market, because guys are just acting "Brand New" now-a-days. Having done a lot of interviews this week for work, combined with one of my friends bringing this topic to my attention, I got to thinking. What if we had resumes for relationships? What would you want to know up front so as not to waste time? so I came up with a series of questions I would want to know the answer to before i potentially wasted my time getting to know somebody that wasn't boyfriend material. Thus my boyfriend application was born. I'm feeling like you should also have to bring in references of people that know the good and bad about you, three at most. All jokes aside, here it is:


Get to know you.

1)Full Name __________________

2)Nickname(s)______________________________

3)Age___

4)Height____

5)Race/Ethnicity_______________

6)Birthday___/___/____

7)Astrological sign________

8)Do you follow Astrology?

9)Do you have siblings?Brothers___ Sisters___

10)Are your parents still apart of your life?


Get to know your situation.

1) Did you go to college? if yes where and what did you study?

2) Do you have a job?

3) Do you have a car?

4) Do you live at home with your parents? if no do you have roommates or are you by yourself?

5) Do you have any children? (yes one on the way counts)

6) Do you play any sports?


Get to know you at random.

1) Do you hang out with a bunch of girls or a bunch guys?

2) What sports do you watch? if none please stop and do not continue.

3) Would you rather go out on the town or stay inside and watch TV?

4) Who do you look up to most?

5) What kind of movies do you like?

6) When faced with a problem do you whine or just handle it?

7) Are you stupid? (NO JOKE, Do you use common sense)

8) What is a typical Friday or Saturday night like?

9) What phone carrier do you have?

10) Can you cook? (I don't mean top ramen or easy mac.)


Get to know what you're looking for. (BE HONEST)

1) Are you looking for long term or short term ?

2) Are you looking to just get laid or for a commitment?

3) Physically:
a)Height____
b)Weight____
c)Hair preference? (ie. long, short, curly, straight, color etc.)
d)Boob size_____
e)Waist____
f)Hips____

4) What's a deal breaker? (ie. physically, mentally, emotionally)

5) Make-up or no make-up?

6) Girlie girl or one of the guys? explain your answer.

Essay/Short Answer

Describe to me why you should be my boyfriend?

What is the biggest goal you have in life as of yet?

Why did your last relationship not work out?

Feel free to fill this out and return within 5-7 business days, just joking. Of course this is stuff I would want to know questions can vary so much from person to person, and could be completely sexually based or completely intellectually based.

Fucking vs. Loving

Fucking: Anytime, anywhere, down for anything
Loving: At night after a romantic dinner and stroll on the beach

Fucking: In the back seat of your car in a fast food parking lot
Loving: At the cabin by the lake where you would go for summer vacation when you were younger

Fucking: The two of you in someone else's pool skinny dipping
Loving: In your jacuzzi after a long day at work

Fucking: What single people do
Loving: What married people do

Fucking: Threesomes are an option for fun to be had
Loving: Threesomes are a way to get different sex

Fucking: One night stands
Loving: Same person every night

Fucking: Condoms, birth control, and worry about pregnancy
Loving: hoping to have a baby

Fucking: A new adventure everytime
Loving: The same adventure on repeat

Fucking: Gives you oral everytime
Loving: Gives you oral on your birthday.

Fucking: Is selfish, get yours and get out
Loving: Is generous, worries about their partner getting theirs

Fucking: Hit and miss on quality
Loving: You already know what you're getting

Last one so I should probably make it crazy good...lol
Fucking: Will have you calling in sick for a couple days cause you can't walk right, and you're just a little too tired to do anything important
Loving: Will have you knocked out and get a good night sleep, refreshed to start the next morning with a healthy breakfast.

Hoe This...Hoe That...Part Deux

Is there a limit that on the number of past sexual partners your current mate has had? I was recently reading about this on twitter, where a few of my friends were going back and forth in debate that only a woman should be limited in the number of past sexual partners she can have. As I was reading this it got me thinking, because a lot of what they were talking about was brought up in my post "Hoe This...Hoe That...". Many of the women that commented in this debate said that there was an unfair double standard, because "men can be hoes too". A few of them agreed with the men because "women look down on other women who have had a lot of partners". Quite a few of my friends believed that if they were to limit someone, they feel it would be okay to be limited, which I respect a great deal. Some which I highly favor, said "it's the past I can't control what she did before me", "the past is the past, and as long as he doesn't bring diseases with him to the present then i have no problems", "no because that would eliminate more than half the male population". To me no matter how educated you are, if you find someone with a tainted past, its the past, that shouldn't negate the fact that they make you happy and have potential to be the greatest love of your life. I really feel you should look at the motives behind why they may have so many sexual partners. Yes there can be the fact they have "hoe-tendencies", but is it that they are a hoe, or have a uninhibited sexual appetite? Hoes will smash the homies, sexual people enjoy every aspect of sex, from the passion and lust to sensuality and tenderness. Some men will sleep with you, your roommate, your sister and your best friend without a second glance. Other men will look for a deeper connection to associate the passion they have have for and with you, which you probably don't share with those people. Some women feel the same way. Take me for example, I don't sleep with every guy that hits on me, its not my style, but I still get good sex on the regular and I have more partners than the average, does that make me a hoe? Most people would say yes, many others would say no, and guaranteed the ones that say yes are men, because of the way they are programmed to think. Brought about because of society, women with multiple partners, are tainted, but men with multiple partners are praised for their experience. A lot of women that fuck to get them something or somewhere in life, will fuck your best friend and your cousin, and have no self-respect these are the hoes you can't turn into housewives, because if someone comes around with a bigger bank account or a bigger dick they will be out the door. So many people are so narrow minded that they can't help but think and believe what the societal norm is. You have to look outside that people. Open your eyes, develop your own thought and stop perpetuating these double standards.

Hoe This....Hoe That...

Why is it a problem, that I don't have a boyfriend anymore, but have sex on the regular? Society has put so much negativity on women having sex out of marriage or a relationship, that most girls I know don't like to talk about it for fear of being called a slut or hoe. Yet on the other hand, its perfectly okay that young men "take down" as many females as they can. Guys almost get rewarded for their "sex game" being experienced.
I feel like i'm a catch. I am educated, with a degree in Corporate Communications, I cook, clean, and take care of my business. I work, still in school to further my education, I drive, and i'm saving up to buy my own house. So my biggest question is what's the problem? and don't give me some half-ass answer that guys are intimidated by me, because I think that's a lazy lame excuse for anyone to have on themselves.
It's almost as though I need to be a virgin for guys to think i'm wifey material. While guys get more and more praise for how many conquests he has in his youth before he settles down. It reminds me a lot of the show "Sex and the City". Samantha is constantly be looked down on by her neighbors, co-workers, and on occasion her friends. They end up coming across a man, that is just as known for his promiscuity, yet it's okay with everyone, because "its what men do".
If you've seen the show, I wouldn't call myself a "Samantha", but I do enjoy my regular sexcapades. does my promiscuity negate my "wife qualities"? I feel I shouldn't have to give up my desire for great sex, because of what someone else may think, or what society has programmed him to think. I don't know what else I want to say about this, it's just not fair I guess. Slowly but surely i hope this double standard gets changed, but you never know what can happen.