June 30, 2013

Desire or Value? the choice is yours....

At what point do you realize all you have for me is desire. If you value my heart why can't you adjust your lust and show me that. Trying to hide your hurt, you put up a wall stronger than anything I have ever done. I have been through trials, tribulations, cheating, emotional and physical abuse, lies, rape and utter self destruction. Holding on to even an ounce of that would hold me back from pursuing the life I dream of having. If you're too broken to be with someone like me, don't try to turn my cautious behavior on me. There is a difference between aware and shut off. I should be far more closed off than I am, but I sought help, gained perspective and took control of my life. No longer do I let someone who never cared about me take control of my current or future happiness. You don't want me to hold back, but have you even tried to give yourself to me. You hold everything back and push me away, but expect me to fall on you with open arms, so can you see why I would pull away or hold my tongue when it comes to you. Good sex only keeps me interested for so long. If you need to figure things out emotionally, tell me that, but don't bullshit me with excuses to keep me coming back. Passion and sex will only hold me over for a short time, before I look for the emotional somewhere else. Keep that in mind the next time you fix your mouth to say I'm putting up a wall.

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