October 26, 2013
You have no idea...
You have no idea how badly I want to hate you for all that you put me through, but at this point I only hate myself for still thinking of you, hoping that one day you and I can be together. You were in my world for 5 years and never made me yours, and I waited like a naive girl to think you would ever change. I hate that I can't shake the thought of you, I hate that I know you still care, I hate all the circumstances surrounding us, but I mostly hate that I can't hate you. It has weighed on my heart for far too long and I have denied myself closure far to many times. I am a broken mess, but the one person I want to talk to, hurts me more than any situation I could possibly be in.
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You Have No Idea...How much I love you. There are days that i want to try to see you or call you. there are days where i can smell your scent in the air. There are days when i drive to certain places to hopefully be there at the same time as you so i can just see you no matter what the look or gesture i receive when you notice whose eyes you can feel on you. the things I've done to hurt you can't be undone nor the things you've done can't be changed. Ive tried my hardest to stay away but i can't I just love you not the teenager i met 5 long years ago but the woman you have become despite the nay sayers.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say to that...
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