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"The strength of a man doesn't come from the power he can control in his muscles, it comes from the integrity of his heart and the showcase of his character. " -Dymond Diva

10 Things to get done before 30

1. Publish a book: whether it is my" memoir so far" or my collection of sex chronicles. 
2. Cross Country Road Trip: Pack up for three weeks and see the sites of the nation. Either in an RV or a rental car.
3. Passion Parties: Done my way. No cut and dry script or set packages. Me being a hostess, knowing what i'm doing, what i'm talking about, and socializing these women to get the pleasure they deserve from sex. 
4. Get Healthy: Not just lose weight, but get better eating patterns and a regular exercise routine.
5. Love: Not sex or getting married or anything unrealistic like that, but love myself, be open to accepting love and giving love to others.
6. Travel to Exotic Places: Places that I have never been, places I want to explore fully and places I can rediscover culture.
7. Move Out of LA: For a while, like a year or so. These are a few places i'm considering, New York, San Francisco, New Orleans, Atlanta, and Houston.
8. Learn a new language: become as fluent as possible and travel to the country of origin to experience it fully.
9. Volunteer: mentor program, soup kitchen, sexual abuse counseling, or some other variety.
10. Date: demand better from my suitors and offer more as a woman. 

Can I Just Say....

• If you know more about reality shows and celebrity gossip than you do current events, we might need to re-evaluate our friendship.
• When you think its cute to be ratchet and be on the guest list at every "Hollywood" event instead of taking care of your children, we don't have anything to talk about.
• Blaming ALL of your issues on the actions of others instead of taking responsibility for it yourself, you might need to re-evaluate your life.
• If you would rather smoke a bowl/blunt than be on time for anything you are part of whats wrong with society
• When the only time you want to make changes in your life are at the end and beginning of the year, you're just sad, because change can happen at any time in the pursuit of growth.

These are just a few of my rantings, that have really been weighing on my heart. So much foolishness I see, and it's just bothering me.

Adrenaline Junkie

Adrenaline pulsing through my body, all I want is your body on top of mine with you deep inside me. Tasting every inch of your sweaty chest as you thrust deep within my pussy walls. I bite you, and I grip my freshly manicured nails into your back. You let out a manly grunt and dig deeper inside me. I release a moan of ecstasy as you have reached a pleasure unknown to me before. I can't hold back the screams of deep penetration. When I climax my body quakes and my legs shiver. I am utterly satisfied and yet my body is glutton for more of you. You slide out of me making me quiver and shake with the slow anticipation of you thrusting back in me. After you leave my body I wrap my legs around your ankles so that I may grip your hard dick around my lips and deep down my throat. Surprised by my actions you grip my sheets and curl your toes. Popping up and grabbing my hair, I slide you down my throat and when I come up I grab your shaft and begin stroking. Up and down in a smooth motion with a twist at the top I grip it a little tighter. With your dick so hard I can feel the veins throbbing ready to blow so I stop and climb on top of you. I want to feel you explode inside me. So as I slide down on top of you I can feel you release against my walls and cream on the lips of my pussy as I pop up off your dick. I collapse on the bed next to you staring at the ceiling as I listen to your heart beat and relax in perfect unison, thinking about the next time we meet for some adrenaline.

So what's on the table?

Well let me start by saying going through therapy wasn't easy, dealing with my past trauma and relationship baggage. When I started healing, I knew things would be alright. So let me get back to the title of this post, What's on the table? I had a long conversation with one of my friends whose opinion I trust. I told her children are still not on the table, but me being open to the idea of marriage is there. So if I find someone that wants to marry me as much as I want to marry them, we can maybe make this happen. Just wanted to put that good juu-juu out there. I am no longer running from love and true happiness with a companion. My wise friend told me that no matter if you are married or not, everyone needs a lifelong companion. Truer words were never spoken.

Show Me What You Mean

Love me like the girls you look at when we're together.

Give me attention like you give your boys when we kick it.

Cherish our time together when I'm not fucking your brains out.

Want me the way I wanted you in the  beginning. 

I guess that's too much to ask from a man that thinks he's too good for me.

I guess it too easy to get lost in craziness that is life.

I guess I wasn't worth the extra effort.

Be the man that your momma raised you to be.

Be the man that your father taught life lessons to

Be the man that your parents showed how to love, not how your boys conditioned you to.

I Feel Some Type of Way...

You ask me where my boyfriend is, as a compliment to say that you find me attractive so I should have a boyfriend. Yet in the same moment before that, you ask me for my number. What does that say about your perception of me that I would even give you my number if I was talking to some one else. So your backhanded compliment has now turned in to my own evaluation of your mentality. You think all women would be that foul, probably because a woman you dealt with in the past has treated you that way. So you hold it against me when I've done nothing but be in your presence. Like the title says, I feel some type of way, because you have now started this off on a negative note, and i really don't think it is possible to recover.

Growth Within

Accepting my own flaws and shortcomings and learning from them to be a better me, I have come to realize that I am ready for a partner that can truly appreciate the love I have to give. I have a past that is no longer me, and I have a future that I intend to grab hold of completely. I need someone with the mental capacity to challenge me and the physical capacity to satisfy me. I need him to learn from me as a I learn from him, feeding each other knowledge and growing in character, success and love. Whole hearted acceptace of the things we can and cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference. Things worthy of fighting for in each other and not losing our identities because we have come together, but rather playing off of them to shine even brighter.

Yeah...I'm ready for this type of love...

Can you Learn?

Things I wish I could have said...

to a couple of my exes...

I can live with a broken heart, tending to the battle scars of love, but I can't live with a man that is selfish enough to say he still loves me after breaking my heart. If you left me, that means my heart isn't over you, like you are over me. For you to make yourself feel better and make it seem not so bad by saying you still love me, is only going to hurt me more when you move on and I have reinvested in your lies of mutual love. It is hard to let anyone go, this is just a fact, and holding onto them once you let them go giving hope to something that will never be is a cruel way of living life. So if you are a past love and you're reading this, let me go. Just let go, because I have let all of you go, keeping only the lessons and memories.

Exactly What I Needed...

My good-bye to you, because he is everything you're not, and in the midst of me realizing you're not it, he made sure he was it, for me. His smile lit up the room in the darkest of night. He grabbed me close while I danced with him, and I rode him like you wished I would have done for you. He penetrated my body in ways you fell very short. He was exactly what I needed to move on from you. The sweet taste of him inside me as he hit deep down my throat and the edges of my walls, will always be something you could never understand. So I hope you enjoy who ever puts up with your shit, because my rebound has replaced any thought of you. He is everything you're not, and in the midst of me realizing you could never be it, he made sure he was it, for me. Raw passion and unwavering ecstasy brought on by flirtatious vibes, stolen glances, and intimate kisses. He is exactly what I needed.

Things I Live By

These are a few things people should know about me to better understand who I am and where I'm coming from when they interact with me. So sit back and enjoy!

1. Don't give a fuck what others think. Talk all the shit you want to, because it won't break me, I got me. I'm gonna do me and nothing and nobody can change that.
2. Challenge Authority. Not in a condescending manner, but make it known that you are not an idiot and will not put up with such foolishness. 
3. Let go of past heartache and keep hold of the lessons. Don't let it dictate your life or your happiness.
4. Indulge in things that make you happy. I don't mean in a greedy or unhealthy way, but take the time to enjoy the things that put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart.
5. Spontaneous adventure is good for the soul. Don't be reckless, but live a little. Step outside your comfort zone and push the limits of the norm. Only you can live your life, so live it to the fullest!
6. Don't stress over the small things. This is something I'm working on personally, but I stand behind it all the way. Stressing over things you cannot change only hurts you in the long run.

I can't give away all my secrets, but these are a few I think are shown in my everyday actions. If you have any questions, ask away! I'm always here to answer them :)

You're the past, so stay there!

• Why do my good vibes of my own happiness always manifest in the world and send signals to the tough past relationships to stir the pot and truly test me? 
• Why can we only be friends when I'm hung up on you, but not when you are hung up on me? 
• Why is it that the moment I'm dating or happy with someone new, you always pop out of all places tempting me to come back with tall tales of you've changed, and this time will be better? 
• Why do I allow you to break my heart every time?

Just a few things running through my mind when I think about a couple of dudes from my past. You guys do the same thing around the same time every year. I hope you had fun this time, because its the last time I allow you back in my world. We have nothing to say, and we have nothing left to do. I told Him to protect me from my enemies and I lost you and other friends. You have tested me for the last time, my patience for you is done, my tolerance of you is over, my heart no longer beats to your drum but now my own. You are no longer in rhythm with me so our song is over, our melody lost and tune complete. 

Down and Out for a While

I hate doing the woe is me posts, but ya girl is really feeling down. Not even needing to vent, but my mentality is not up to par right now. I am feeling something sad deep within that may have been suppressed for a while, and is now forcing its way out. So if I'm mean or grumpy with you, I'm so sorry, don't take it personal. I gotta let out the emotion in a constructive way before I destroy friendships and prospective relationships ;)

Don't worry, I'll be back to my usual self in no time, stay tuned for my cynical side to come out for a bit, and possibly my mushy side.

Love always,

Dymond Diva

Mixed Signals...Damn!

The cold part about sending mixed signals, is when you do it yourself, without realizing. I had a pretty deep conversation with one of my closest girlfriends, and she really put me on game. I don't intentionally do it, but shit happens right? So let me explain the situation a little, Girl meets boy at party, instantly click. Boy invites girl and friend back to his house with his friends. Girl and boy go off to have a little fun. girl gets drunk and gives her number to guys friend, because her phone is dead and he was like nowhere to be found. fast forward two weeks, girl gets invited to house party at the same house. Guy calls girl out on giving her number to friend, but friend lied and said girl asked for his number. Girl has written friend off as a decent person, so Guy and Girl flirt some more and end up hooking up. Girl talks to guy about kicking it again one on one, guy gets defensive and act like girl is trying to date him. WHOA there guy, girl just said she liked him and wanted to get to know him better because he's cool people. nobody is trying to pursue you like a relationship. We can be friends that mess around. so it was left at that.

What I want/ expect from him:

• a cool dude to kick it with occasionally
• someone to hook-up with when the mood strikes
• someone that knows how to function and can actually hang with my drinking
• a nice set of dudes that can function with me and my girls.

 What he heard and freaked out about

• She wants to hang out one on one and date me
• She wants a relationship
• She's gonna get mad over stupid stuff cause she's a girl. and girls do that
• She's 24 I'm 30ish this is gonna get complicated and I'm gonna hurt her

 So if I sent off the below vibe but what I said was the above statements, I understand the confusion and I wish I could explain that without sounding crazy. I guess all I can do is wait till I see what he does and slowly explain myself, if not oh well, you live you learn, you find a guy with a bigger penis ;)

All I Need ;)

Kirko Bangz - Drank in my Cup

Memories of Passion

The sweet aroma of your masculinity roams the air when I walk through the house. Every deep inhale makes me miss you even more. The times you caress my hair bringing your finger around my face always making its' way down to my breasts. The smooth cup of your hands on them as you slowly turn subtle moments of peace and serenity into bouts of heat and passion. Kissing down my neck to turn it up, because you know how much I like it. Our lips connect and I instantly melt in your arms. I turn to face you, but instead I climb on top of you, straddling your legs in anticipation. I take it slow as do you, kissing deeply, making eye contact with every slide down your thighs. I glide all the way down pulling your shorts with me. Having you in my sights my eyes get big like its the first time I've seen it, and I can't wait to taste you. I wrap my plump lips around you and take you deep within my mouth, spit dripping from my lips as I slide smoothly up and down making you harder and harder with every movement. I stroke your dick as I flick the tip with my tongue. Grabbing in a rapid fashion I stroke you taking you deep within my mouth every motion. I pull my hands away and let you go deeper down my throat. Every time I gag on your dick it turns me on further, making me slippery wet. My sweet essence ready for you to taste. Putting your fingers inside me to feel my warmth and when you pull them out they are soaked. Yours eye light up at the glisten on your fingers and you taste to see if it is just what you imagined. No longer able to contain your excitement, you rip off my lacy panties and thrust your manhood deep within my pussy walls. Barely able to fit all of you inside me I let out moan after scream. Penetration so deep I try to crawl away almost unable to handle all of you. When you pull me back to take it, I smile, your dominance entices me. As you are bent over on top of me thrusting deep, you tease my nipples which turns me on and makes squeeze my pussy lips tighter around your dick. Almost at climax you flip me over to go deeper. The first thrust from this angle make me explode in euphoric pleasure. So you gently wrap your fingers around my neck and pull me closer. My pussy walls pulsating around your dick, my legs shaking, I can't take anymore, but I want it.  Every thrust making me weaker, but my heart racing even faster. I can hear the smile in your voice when you ask me if I've had enough. I say I can keep going, and you do. I refuse to tap out, but I want to taste your juices. I stop you from stroking inside me so I can finish the job for myself. Sucking the tip of your dick you try to hold on, to keep the pleasure coming. When you finally cum in my mouth I lick up every drop that slides down my hands, and swallow it.
The simple scent of you in the air has brought back memories, when you walk in to find me playing with myself, I bite my lip and you know what I really want. I want to relive it over and over again.

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Drown me in the sorrows of yesterday
So I can be brought back to life in the smile of tomorrow.

Take away the suffering of my people
So I can thrive in the future.

Breathe life in to hatred
So I can truly appreciate love.

Show me the difference in my skin and yours
So I can show you where the ignorance begins and ends.

Life without me is a nightmare
So to be in my presence is a dream

He put me on this earth to show you the way
So can lead an army of his soldiers to him.

Don't turn your back on my King
So as to miss out on where you should be living.

Nectar of The Gods

Taste the juice of my body while I sip on the nectar you provide me.
Delighting in the sweet diet of fruits you enjoy on the daily.
Making love to you excites me,
Not knowing what's next,
But always surprised with the outcome.

The sexual presence of your being makes me smile,
Every thrust inside me makes me moan.
The deeper you go the louder I get.

Making puddles of our passion on the bed,
Leaving me soaked. 
Only for you to drink from my martini glass
The juice you worked so hard to collect.

Our bodies lifeless, but satisfied.
You have excited every nerve in my body
while I have drained every pore in yours.

Sex Decisions

Shameless nights of drunken sex
Turning into reckless love stories
Of wandering hands and inquiring minds.
True passion never being met,
But lustful desires fulfilled.

Summer loving is just a melody,
Prescribed by the self made doctor of music relationships.
Dreaming of what could have been,
What should have been,
What never will be,
But what we hope to get back.

Letting the media influence the decisions I make,
telling me its okay to wait, but shaming me when I don't
So confused on what love to give, because I can't get no love in return.

Our bodies engulfed in passion,
never realizing its fake.
Faked orgasm, faked love, faked trust.
Waking up the next day,
Regretting what happened,
Trying to figure out what to do.
Hoping I can leave you with no memory of our encounter,
knowing you gossip just as much as girls do.

Shameless nights of drunken sex
Turning into reckless love stories
Of wandering hands and inquiring minds.
True passion never being met,
But lustful desires fulfilled.