Don't Let Go...

I am in a space that's new for me. I am terrified of losing you, and with each conversation I feel like I'm not saying anything right. I run off at the mouth because it is what I know. You get quiet and I don't know what to do. Feeling like my voice is hurting us and not sure how to proceed. I'm grown enough to know that it is not all about me, and mature enough to ask for help. But who do you ask when the one person that has the answer seems to be mad at you for the actions you take. I just don't want to lose you over something I'm trying to work on.

Facts about the Diva

Writing is more than a hobby. It is a passion of mine and nobody can take that away from me. If I never make a dime from writing it will never stop me from continuing my love affair with words. Live to write or write to live…Two very different statements that put you in a state of being that can rarely be understood in one conversation. That’s what writing does for me.

Boy Toys That Turn Into Bug-A-Boo's...

Get a phone call from a nigga, calling me his baby girl. Then get a text from the next dude calling me his boo. Neither one of these guys has given me a title, yet real quick to label me theirs. Talking to me like they own my pussy. We used to fuck on the regular, but I haven't seen you in months. Told both of y'all the last time we talked would be the last time we fucked. Doesn't make much sense to me to keep coming around. You didn't want me to be your girl then, and i'm pretty sure things haven't changed since then.
I know the names I get called because I enjoy my sexual conquests, but the men I take down do the same. I have "male tendencies" because I have a lot of partners, but when you were running through chicks left and right when you was cuffed up that was just a man being a man.
I don't want to wake up one day with a man that makes me feel more alone than when I was by myself. You call me up or text me to get some booty, but wouldn't dream of talking to me to take me out. You don't need my number nor do you need to act like i'm yours. I'm not yours especially if you could barely make me cum, a big reason as to why I won't keep you around. I'm not your girlfriend and you don't make me cum there is no reason to keep you. So when I stop responding or picking up just know that I've moved on to someone better. I've said my piece to you and I wash my hands of the whole situation.

I Love Me

I feel like people expect me to be insecure about myself based on my size, race, ethnicity, intelligence or emotional well being. My biggest and only fear is failure. So trying to shake my confidence because you're unhappy with you is sad and just plain pathetic. I may have average tendencies but my life has been far from that. I know I'm am not the greatest there ever was, because I'm still learning, but I'm damn good at whatever I set my mind to.

It wasn't true love..

I would still feel something for you now if it was. We talked for 5 years and said I love you more than once. We never slept together, hell we never even went out. The first 2 years I knew you, I was in Hawaii, which made everything my fault. I'll take the hit for that. The next 3 years I was practically down the street, yet you couldn't make time for me. So what about our connection speaks on love. I cared for you in a way that was new to me. We grew in a way that showed personal growth, but not in coming together. Our conversation was immaculate and truly something I will miss, however my passion for you has long since left the building. I want nothing to do with you. I don't care if you think of me at night, I don't care if you are concerned because of something you heard, I don't want any contact from you. I don't hit you up, I don't call or text, I didn't even add you when you requested me on Instagram. It will only hurt you more and irritate me to no end that we even speak. Our story is over, and my time for you is done. I have closed the book and moved on to someone that wants me in their life not just when it's convenient.

Sex me...

I masturbate to the thought of you.
Illustrations running wild in my imagination,
giving me the sensation of your touch as I slide my panties down.
Arching my back as I picture your tongue parting my lips
I glide my finger over my clit and wonder what your lips feel like kissing it.

I masturbate to the thought of you.
Your voice narrating every move.
My body shaking in anticipation.
Your breath on my neck soothing my quivers
I puddle up as I finger inside my pussy.

I masturbate to the thought of you.
I masturbate to the thought of you.
I masturbate to the thought of you.

You are my fantasy, my escape, my deepest desire.
Giving me more to think about with every
Conversation
Encounter
Experience.

What I want from my man...

Love me like the lines in my favorite love poem.
Protect me like a pit bull caring for its loved ones
Fuck me like its the last time we can ever be together.
Hold me like a fresh blanket of snow on a mountain peak

Be the man I have seen in your heart.
Be the man I have grown to care about.
Be the man you have shown me.

I will be the woman that cares for you.
I will be the woman you need me to be.
I will be the woman you've see in your heart.

Sea breeze

He gently caresses my cheek to brush single strands of hair out of my face.
Deeply gazing into my eyes,
He grabs hold of me.
Locking his lips on mine
This embrace could last forever.
I don't want him to ever let me go.
Passion fills my heart,
And lust fills my body
I want you to ravage me.
Take hold of my body
Take control of me
I give myself to you in the purest of ways
That turns to the dirtiest actions.

What's wrong with me?

Just simply that question. What's wrong with me, that I can't get the outcome I desire, the love I want, and the work I know I can handle. When is it my time to shine? Am I just not patient enough, am I not working hard enough, is my heart not vulnerable enough? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME?

I don't know if I know what real love is...but i'm willing to try...

When it comes to love, we accept what we think we deserve. Rarely do we feel that we deserve love, yet so common, love is what is most desired. Not feeling worthy or feeling like we have been too hurt or are too damaged for another to love us.

"I've never had someone love me the way I wanted, only what I felt I deserved"

 I don't know if what I thought was love was really love, but I do know the relationship I'm developing now feels different than anything I have developed before. So maybe happiness is right around the corner as long as I am willing to try and he is willing to trust me.

What are we?

Nothing about our meeting was traditional, but I'm glad we did. Nothing about our personalities is traditional, but I love that. We go through the motions of talking, keeping one another in the loop of the daily grind. But are we building? This is the glaring thought that crosses my mind when I'm not thinking of the happy moments we have shared. Am I the chick you text and sext, am I the chick you fuck on occasion, am I just a friend with the benefits of getting your dick wet and my pussy soaked. Who am I to you? If anyone asked me if I was single I would tell them no, but that's because I'm not speaking to anyone else romantically and in my mind we are romanticized. Am I wrong though? Do you want me to yourself or does it matter? I feel at times that I talk myself out of working through the emotions of a real relationship based on the actions that may or may not be there. I can't talk myself into one, but apparently have no problem talking myself out of one. I want this, but I don't want to go it alone. So how do I ask, without being that girl? What are we?

My hunnie...

When he called me miss frank for the first time, something about it just said "yes!!!"...it didn't hit me till later a boy I no longer have in my life used to call me that...it was okay though...It didn't take away from the fact that I want him to keep calling me that. When I hear his voice it sends chills down my spine, I want to hear him all the time; Whether he is whispering in my ear, cracking jokes, or just saying my name, I am so glad he keeps speaking. UGH...I miss him so much...lol sorry y'all I have a little frustration building up!

Taking a little time..

While I am away for the summer, I will be posting significantly less, next to none. While I'm sure I will flood these pages with posts when I return, for the next four weeks, I will probably do a check in here and there but no serious posts. To my loyal followers, Thank you! I will see you lovely people in August

Love Always

Dymond Diva

My heart yearns for more...

Dreaming of a happier tomorrow and a happier you with a happier me.
You make me happy
Point
Blank
Period
I am a strong woman, and my words can cut
Listen to my actions
If I ain't left yet
I'm not going anywhere.
Know that my words speak volumes
bound together by my movements.
If I want you, I will take the effort to keep you.
Tell me how to be here for you, and I'll do it.
My heart is tired of being broken,
So help me keep the pieces mended.
My heart yearns for more,
So be what I need,
And I'll be there for you.

Desire or Value? the choice is yours....

At what point do you realize all you have for me is desire. If you value my heart why can't you adjust your lust and show me that. Trying to hide your hurt, you put up a wall stronger than anything I have ever done. I have been through trials, tribulations, cheating, emotional and physical abuse, lies, rape and utter self destruction. Holding on to even an ounce of that would hold me back from pursuing the life I dream of having. If you're too broken to be with someone like me, don't try to turn my cautious behavior on me. There is a difference between aware and shut off. I should be far more closed off than I am, but I sought help, gained perspective and took control of my life. No longer do I let someone who never cared about me take control of my current or future happiness. You don't want me to hold back, but have you even tried to give yourself to me. You hold everything back and push me away, but expect me to fall on you with open arms, so can you see why I would pull away or hold my tongue when it comes to you. Good sex only keeps me interested for so long. If you need to figure things out emotionally, tell me that, but don't bullshit me with excuses to keep me coming back. Passion and sex will only hold me over for a short time, before I look for the emotional somewhere else. Keep that in mind the next time you fix your mouth to say I'm putting up a wall.

Point Taken..

He fucks me like he's got a point to prove.

Holding on and caressing every inch of me

my rolls

my thighs

my fat pussy lips

Tasting me before he enters me

Eating like its his last meal.

I like his aggressive nature, the way he tells me what to do

He controls the pace

stroking me deep and penetrating the deepest depths of me.

He's fucking me like he's got a point to prove.

He has me, not sure if he realizes this.

I gave myself to him

All I can hope for is that he continues to treat me well..

Random shit in my brain...

Make me climax on your speech…penetrate my mind with your intelligence…be more than you appear to be to keep me…and shield me from misconceptions by proving your past wrong and making your future better…Be intimate with my thoughts and you’ll see my full potential…a slick tongue is the start of a passionate conquest..

He gives me feelings...

My attraction to him is poetic…my lust for him is pornographic…my want for him is philosophical…He makes me wonder about the future and if he will be in it…just want to make the right choice after so many wrong ones…I digg him, but does he want me for keeps or does he want me for now?

I want this...

Take me from sensuality..

Hold me close as you slip my dress off of me, only to be stopped at my voluptuous hips. Kneeling down to kiss my stomach as you slide my dress down to the floor. You kiss my pussy lips and tease me a little as you lay me down. I fall back and open my legs ready for you, anticipating every move you are about to make. Not knowing where you will place your lips next, I inhale the scent of you as I gasp for air with every gentle caress against my skin. It drives me insane, because I want you so badly. You grip my thighs as you inhale my scent, so  as you nibble on my inner thigh I grab the sheets tightly and let out a muffled moan. You place your hand over my mouth as you climb on top of me. Your dick so hard it guides itself to my wet lips. Teasing me with the tip of your dick you massage my clit. I squirm to get free and you pin me down harder and then thrust inside to control me. I let out a small yelp and you continue, thrusting deeper every time. Hitting my pussy walls, I am on the verge of reaching ecstasy. I am ready to climax when you stop and pull me closer to you, whispering in my ear "turn over". Not moving fast enough you stand me up and flip me over. Bent at the waist you penetrate me from behind. Grabbing hold of hips you push deep inside me as you spank me for being naughty. I can no longer control my moans so they turn into screams only to be muffled by the pillows you have me bent over. Stroke after stroke I am pleasured. When I reach my climax, you can feel my pussy tighten up around your dick, pulsating from euphoria, my thighs, my legs, my body get so weak. Yet, I yearn for the taste of your dick as I know you can provide me with your juices. You slide out of my pussy and into my mouth. I taste my juices on your dick and as I stroke you, I allow you to slide back in my throat a little deeper every time. wrapping my tongue around the tip before I slide you down. stroking with my right hand keeping your dick wet every time I come back up. speeding up my stroke, I lick around the tip of your dick before I let go and let your whole shaft glide down my throat. Playing with you balls as I gag to fit your whole manliness inside my mouth. I continue to stroke your dick till I can feel the veins pop, and I know you are ready to cum. Your fists clench up and you explode your juices, filling my mouth up with cream, so I swallow all of you and keep you inside my mouth as I tickle to most sensitive parts of you with the tip of my tongue. You collapse onto the bed and I join you as we laugh and enjoy this moment of perfect sensuality.