Fellas Take Note...

Too wrapped up in your past to see what's in front of you. I won't wait around forever for you to figure out what you want from me. I'm not a plaything to toy with whenever you break up with your girlfriend, have some free time in your schedule, or you want to sneak into my bed. Don't talk to me like a girl friend or a best friend, when your only intention is to smash. I don't want mixed feelings. Either you want me to be your girl or you want me to be a fuck. But I'm done playing these lets flirt, lets kiss, lets fuck, and then hang out and go to the movies type tendencies. That's what the fuck relationships are. If you're scared to give me a title, then you don't need to be between my legs. There are no friends with benefits in my world. If I'm fucking you, we're probably not friends. If you hurt me once I'll never forget, and I promise when I'm done with you the only person crying is you.

Thinking out loud...

What about me says

That I'm not worth the risk

That I'm not long term

That my past is my present

That any misconception you have about me came from me

That I'm interested in doing anything to hurt you

Why is it my heart yearns for those completely unavailable
to care for me the way I care for them?
I have the biggest heart, with the hardest shell.
I don't want to cry anymore.
I don't want to be vulnerable anymore.
I don't want to hurt anymore.
I don't give a damn about what happened before me.
I just want to be happy.
Why is that so much to ask for?

Facts about the Diva

I used to be the type of chick that had a man for different things. I kept a roster so to speak.

• The guy that would help me with car stuff. (fixing, cleaning, shopping for, or anything that has to do with a car)
• The guy that was there just to listen to me. (girlfriend drama, boyfriend drama, work drama, family drama etc.)
• The guy for his body. (everything about our relationship was carnal and passionate and only when I needed it)
• The guy I bring home (He is perfect on paper and gets my family off my back about getting serious and getting married)
• The guy I bring around my friends. (My friends loved him, because he was perfect for what we needed. finding the best places to go and always knows how to have fun.)

Usually each one lacked a certain something that prevented me from making him my boyfriend. But now that I am in my mid-20s it’s time to calm all that down and start thinking about a future with someone special. I have sowed my wild oats and I’m ready to be a girlfriend and then wife.I don’t need one man that can do all of the above, but I need someone well-rounded. I have learned to be a therapist, chef, nurse, and provider, so bring something to the table. Balance me out and let’s build something people are jealous of.

Facts about the Diva

Masturbation is an art, anyone can make themselves cum, but are you so in sync with your body that your pleasure is from head to toe. A full body orgasm that leaves you satisfied. I don't trust anyone who doesn't masturbate and I feel bad for those who don’t know how to do it. Treat yourself to a little alone time, feel out your body, get to know every inch of it. I love all of me, because I know all of me.

Bitch I'm Feeling Fabulous

Facts about the Diva

42DDD/42F

38" waist

53" hip

I have a figure, it’s fluffier in some place than others and it jiggles when I move. My ass is fat, but firm to touch. I love every inch of my skin from the top of my scalp to the arch in my foot. My hair is silky smooth and curly to touch. My skin is what it is, nothing about me physically defines who I am personally or tells of the actions I take or decisions I make.

Don't Let Go...

I am in a space that's new for me. I am terrified of losing you, and with each conversation I feel like I'm not saying anything right. I run off at the mouth because it is what I know. You get quiet and I don't know what to do. Feeling like my voice is hurting us and not sure how to proceed. I'm grown enough to know that it is not all about me, and mature enough to ask for help. But who do you ask when the one person that has the answer seems to be mad at you for the actions you take. I just don't want to lose you over something I'm trying to work on.

Facts about the Diva

Writing is more than a hobby. It is a passion of mine and nobody can take that away from me. If I never make a dime from writing it will never stop me from continuing my love affair with words. Live to write or write to live…Two very different statements that put you in a state of being that can rarely be understood in one conversation. That’s what writing does for me.

Boy Toys That Turn Into Bug-A-Boo's...

Get a phone call from a nigga, calling me his baby girl. Then get a text from the next dude calling me his boo. Neither one of these guys has given me a title, yet real quick to label me theirs. Talking to me like they own my pussy. We used to fuck on the regular, but I haven't seen you in months. Told both of y'all the last time we talked would be the last time we fucked. Doesn't make much sense to me to keep coming around. You didn't want me to be your girl then, and i'm pretty sure things haven't changed since then.
I know the names I get called because I enjoy my sexual conquests, but the men I take down do the same. I have "male tendencies" because I have a lot of partners, but when you were running through chicks left and right when you was cuffed up that was just a man being a man.
I don't want to wake up one day with a man that makes me feel more alone than when I was by myself. You call me up or text me to get some booty, but wouldn't dream of talking to me to take me out. You don't need my number nor do you need to act like i'm yours. I'm not yours especially if you could barely make me cum, a big reason as to why I won't keep you around. I'm not your girlfriend and you don't make me cum there is no reason to keep you. So when I stop responding or picking up just know that I've moved on to someone better. I've said my piece to you and I wash my hands of the whole situation.

I Love Me

I feel like people expect me to be insecure about myself based on my size, race, ethnicity, intelligence or emotional well being. My biggest and only fear is failure. So trying to shake my confidence because you're unhappy with you is sad and just plain pathetic. I may have average tendencies but my life has been far from that. I know I'm am not the greatest there ever was, because I'm still learning, but I'm damn good at whatever I set my mind to.

It wasn't true love..

I would still feel something for you now if it was. We talked for 5 years and said I love you more than once. We never slept together, hell we never even went out. The first 2 years I knew you, I was in Hawaii, which made everything my fault. I'll take the hit for that. The next 3 years I was practically down the street, yet you couldn't make time for me. So what about our connection speaks on love. I cared for you in a way that was new to me. We grew in a way that showed personal growth, but not in coming together. Our conversation was immaculate and truly something I will miss, however my passion for you has long since left the building. I want nothing to do with you. I don't care if you think of me at night, I don't care if you are concerned because of something you heard, I don't want any contact from you. I don't hit you up, I don't call or text, I didn't even add you when you requested me on Instagram. It will only hurt you more and irritate me to no end that we even speak. Our story is over, and my time for you is done. I have closed the book and moved on to someone that wants me in their life not just when it's convenient.

Sex me...

I masturbate to the thought of you.
Illustrations running wild in my imagination,
giving me the sensation of your touch as I slide my panties down.
Arching my back as I picture your tongue parting my lips
I glide my finger over my clit and wonder what your lips feel like kissing it.

I masturbate to the thought of you.
Your voice narrating every move.
My body shaking in anticipation.
Your breath on my neck soothing my quivers
I puddle up as I finger inside my pussy.

I masturbate to the thought of you.
I masturbate to the thought of you.
I masturbate to the thought of you.

You are my fantasy, my escape, my deepest desire.
Giving me more to think about with every
Conversation
Encounter
Experience.

What I want from my man...

Love me like the lines in my favorite love poem.
Protect me like a pit bull caring for its loved ones
Fuck me like its the last time we can ever be together.
Hold me like a fresh blanket of snow on a mountain peak

Be the man I have seen in your heart.
Be the man I have grown to care about.
Be the man you have shown me.

I will be the woman that cares for you.
I will be the woman you need me to be.
I will be the woman you've see in your heart.

Sea breeze

He gently caresses my cheek to brush single strands of hair out of my face.
Deeply gazing into my eyes,
He grabs hold of me.
Locking his lips on mine
This embrace could last forever.
I don't want him to ever let me go.
Passion fills my heart,
And lust fills my body
I want you to ravage me.
Take hold of my body
Take control of me
I give myself to you in the purest of ways
That turns to the dirtiest actions.

What's wrong with me?

Just simply that question. What's wrong with me, that I can't get the outcome I desire, the love I want, and the work I know I can handle. When is it my time to shine? Am I just not patient enough, am I not working hard enough, is my heart not vulnerable enough? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME?

I don't know if I know what real love is...but i'm willing to try...

When it comes to love, we accept what we think we deserve. Rarely do we feel that we deserve love, yet so common, love is what is most desired. Not feeling worthy or feeling like we have been too hurt or are too damaged for another to love us.

"I've never had someone love me the way I wanted, only what I felt I deserved"

 I don't know if what I thought was love was really love, but I do know the relationship I'm developing now feels different than anything I have developed before. So maybe happiness is right around the corner as long as I am willing to try and he is willing to trust me.

What are we?

Nothing about our meeting was traditional, but I'm glad we did. Nothing about our personalities is traditional, but I love that. We go through the motions of talking, keeping one another in the loop of the daily grind. But are we building? This is the glaring thought that crosses my mind when I'm not thinking of the happy moments we have shared. Am I the chick you text and sext, am I the chick you fuck on occasion, am I just a friend with the benefits of getting your dick wet and my pussy soaked. Who am I to you? If anyone asked me if I was single I would tell them no, but that's because I'm not speaking to anyone else romantically and in my mind we are romanticized. Am I wrong though? Do you want me to yourself or does it matter? I feel at times that I talk myself out of working through the emotions of a real relationship based on the actions that may or may not be there. I can't talk myself into one, but apparently have no problem talking myself out of one. I want this, but I don't want to go it alone. So how do I ask, without being that girl? What are we?

My hunnie...

When he called me miss frank for the first time, something about it just said "yes!!!"...it didn't hit me till later a boy I no longer have in my life used to call me that...it was okay though...It didn't take away from the fact that I want him to keep calling me that. When I hear his voice it sends chills down my spine, I want to hear him all the time; Whether he is whispering in my ear, cracking jokes, or just saying my name, I am so glad he keeps speaking. UGH...I miss him so much...lol sorry y'all I have a little frustration building up!

Taking a little time..

While I am away for the summer, I will be posting significantly less, next to none. While I'm sure I will flood these pages with posts when I return, for the next four weeks, I will probably do a check in here and there but no serious posts. To my loyal followers, Thank you! I will see you lovely people in August

Love Always

Dymond Diva

My heart yearns for more...

Dreaming of a happier tomorrow and a happier you with a happier me.
You make me happy
Point
Blank
Period
I am a strong woman, and my words can cut
Listen to my actions
If I ain't left yet
I'm not going anywhere.
Know that my words speak volumes
bound together by my movements.
If I want you, I will take the effort to keep you.
Tell me how to be here for you, and I'll do it.
My heart is tired of being broken,
So help me keep the pieces mended.
My heart yearns for more,
So be what I need,
And I'll be there for you.