My Love is Cold, Deep and Strong

I want to share with you a few things about me so that you can understand where i'm coming from when I write these entries. I am a young, beautiful woman, and I am utterly confident in my sex appeal even though I am not the society norm. I would change a few things but what woman wouldn't. I love my mind, the way i think and process, and my thirst for knowledge. On the other hand I don't have the same passion when it comes structured education, but I like to learn none the less. I have been through love's ups and downs, and through no fault of one relationship, my heart is icey. I look at the plain black and white when it comes to love, the logic behind it. Many people will say that you can't look at love that way, those people are emotionally involved in a relationship or haven't been jaded as I have. When it comes to true love I am the biggest supporter of everyone finding what they want, need and what they are looking for.  I've had love in my life before, true love, everlasting, give your all to this person love. I lost so much of who I was trying to be with this person that our relationship ended badly and left a bitter taste in my mouth for a while. I think love is for other people just not for me. I look at the statistics and potentials out there and its just depressing. People are on the one hand shallow and don't see what I offer as a person, all they see is sum "thick chick" that will be easy. I am more than my size, I am a woman, of strong beliefs and high goals. And then on the other hand, people are naturally racist. In my case, when you mix the two the market for men that find me desirable shrinks. Don't get me wrong, this isn't some self-pity I hate my thighs type entry, because I love all of me from head to toe. I guess I can't really get mad, because I'm not looking for love and I honestly don't need it to find me. Please don't think that I'm cynical or anything, I just want to live my life with nobody standing in my way or making me feel bad about it. I would rather spend my whole life working on a career than working on some new compromise of self in a marriage. It may sound selfish, but its how I feel. Who knows, the right man may come along and sweep me off my feet and completely change my mind, but until then, it is what it is.