New Boyfriend Application

So this is a play on the old version I had, but this one is more of a check list of things I want to happen, qualities I want you to have, to see if you are a cut above. 

Personality

• Charming, but not used in a sleazy way
• Loyal to me not just his mommy
• Honest
• Funny, no Hilarious ,when the occasion calls for it
• Smart, not rocket science smart, but smart enough to hold a decent conversation about politics, religion, current events, great novels and other topics of substance.
• Generous of heart and mind, not always of pocket
• Self-Identity, has one and doesn't look for it in me 
• Realist, because anything else just clashes to much

Likes

• Adventure, but can balance my reckless abandon.
• Art & Culture not the stuffy/snobby kind
• Video Games, to the point of enjoyment not life fulfillment
• Sports to the point of enjoyment, not star-crazed fandom
• Sex, but knows the difference between porno dialogue and relationship dialogue

Dislikes

• Everything I dislike. lol

Physical Appearance (shallow I know but hear me out first)

• Taller than me (i'm 5'5 not that hard to do)
• Chocolate, no not the candy, the color. I want to end up with a black guy i'm sorry

Now it may seem like a lot to ask for because its all written out, but honestly, I am more concerned with the man you are not the job you have or the cars you drive. Money comes and goes, but being a good man is hard to find. Honestly if you are this person, you have a stable job, your own residence, and a car to drive, because you are responsible and well put together. If not, I guarantee you are on the way. 

Passion Parties and Sex Classes

so it has been brought to my attention that I should start holding class and doing passion parties again. I think that can be a lucrative and fun way to make money while I try to get this book finished and published. So official notice, I am in the works of planning my lessons and getting supplies. January 2012 it begins. More details to come, so please be on the look out. I will also offer Skype classes for my long distance students. I'm excited so get excited!

Damn I gotta stop drinking.

I know this one goes a way back, but after having a few drinks at my Christmas party yesterday I have been feeling flirty and a little horny. Then today this song pops up on my ipod and I feel like its a sign that I will either have great sex soon or just be horny for a while. I'm hoping for the great sex, but hey we can hope right. 

I figured I have this theme starting of showing videos with my posts, so here you go.

choke me, spank me (pull my hair)- Xzibit 

As the year comes to a close..

here are a few things I learned this year:

• People no matter how much you know them will let you down in a heartbeat.
• Love is for people that aren't me.
• Every time I open my heart to someone they treat it like its worthless and wonder why its so hard for me to love.
• The only person in my corner is always gonna be me.
• Growing from mistakes is hard, but worth it in the end.
• Family is a beautiful thing to have, kids are still annoying
• My tears have fallen too many days, and I need to be happy.
• I have met a handful of amazing people that live nowhere near me
• I am really crabby during the holiday season, slowly becoming a Scrooge or Grinch.
• Cold weather makes me extremely horny.
• Relationship tag sucks for all parties involved.
• Rhode Island is an awful state.

Lil' Mo - Broken Heart

Sit with this one while you wait for me to come back with more posts :)

In the whisper of the night

All I want to hear is the soft breath you take flowing against my neck.
All I want to feel is the gentle caress of your arms wrapping around me.
All I want to see is the deepest parts of your soul from the opening in your eyes.
All I want to taste is the kisses you leave on my lips after you play with my clit.
All I want to touch is the back of your neck as I draw you in closer.

I want the most sensual of moments to be shared with you.
I want the happiest moments of silence as we soak in the pleasure of each others company.
I want you more and more each day, but I realize that is to much to ask of you.
I want for us to be where we need to be with or without each other.

Plus Size Diva in a Skinny Bitch World...

We are a media based society. What we see in the general medias of print, television and the dominant personality the Internet, is the females need to be sexier, sluttier, and all around objects of desire, while men need to be rolling in the money, and sexual gods. Neither side is winning right now, because of this image of perfection that nobody is capable of achieving.

So with that being said, lets take this a step further. Your girl right here is a thick chick, no doubt you have seen my pics in the picture section at the top of this page, so you all know what I look like. I am not by any means this society's standard of beauty. Underhandedly society has let me know this at every developmental stage in my life so far. It doesn't shake my core, because I know the confidence in my walk and the raw nature of my talk speak volumes of who I am and what i'm worth. So I go through my day swinging my hips with grace, rocking my heels with style and flaunting my curves in this skinny bitch world. No offense to the skinny girls, because I fux with y'all, but you are no more fabulous than me and I am no more fabulous than you. I just need you to realize I am here to stay, and the balance is soon to be realized and actualized.

But hey that's just how I feel about society today. Plus size diva in a skinny bitch world ;)

I miss the old me...

I miss parts of the old me who I was before I knew him. The one that didn't give a fuck about feelings. The one that had a plan for what she wanted to do and not just for what she could do. I miss the times I had rolling and not giving a fuck, because I knew how to keep my dreams alive. The old me wouldn't have put up with most of the shit I deal with on a daily basis let alone on the big shit that piles up. The new me however knows how to handle situations better, has better sex, and flirts more, because its healthy. A little nostalgia for the old me, and just to leave ya'll with a little musical enjoyment Nicki Minaj - Dear Old Nicki

Did I forget to tell you?

I don't know how many new people are reading my blog, because I get no comment love..lol, but if you didn't know, this blog is a place for me to vent, dish, and talk out what I'm feeling. If you get offended by anything that is said, you are either telling on yourself or mad the the truth is out there. At any rate, if you don't like what you read please feel free to "Go FUCK Yourself". Thanks for playing and don't worry, your dirty diapers won't be missed.

This has been a message from Management,

Dymond Diva

I need to get a few things straight..

You tell me you love me for my mind,
Every time you come around you want sex.

You tell me I mean more to you than anything,
Every time I need you you're not there.

You tell me I'm the bad in this relationship,
Every time you flake I have to understand.

You tell me I'm the one,
Every time we speak I feel like the back up option.

So I can no longer be mad at you, because I have allowed myself to be where I told myself I would never go again, (the state of LOVE)

Now before I get the haters on my case about oh she's just damaged, she's cold, she's going to be mean to every man she ever meets from now on, let me just say, I have never carried emotional baggage from relationship to relationship. I do however have that little reminder to be careful when entering a new relationship. I forgive, but sweetie never forget. if you don't learn and adapt your life lessons never get learned.

16 and dumb...23 and jaded..

When I was younger, I had an open heart ready for the joys of love. Now that i'm 23 and have gone through the troubles that life has brought me in that department, I am so jaded and disconnected that the man I love is still trying to knock down that wall.

unattached, non-committal, free will, sexual conquest

That is probably the best way to describe my current sex life. I have what I want when I want and never answer to anyone about who I've been with. My sexual freedom doesn't define me, it exhilarates me. People are so often trapped in the box that society likes to close around them, about what a healthy sex life and drive is. The drive of everyone is relatively high considering the age and time we live in, however the difference is how we choose to act upon said drive. I am having a great time in my sex life, but I may be doing too much for certain groups and not enough compared to others, but it doesn't matter because i'm doing enough for me.

You want me..

You want me...chase me!
You need me...tell me!
You want to keep me...embrace me!
You want to love me...know me!
You want to be near me...show me!
You want me to want you...intrigue me!
You want my sex...tease me!
You want my heart...love me!
You want my smile...please me!
You want to be in my reality...challenge me!


Ask yourself first, what do you want from me?

Turn me on

• Grab me when i'm walking away and give me a kiss
• hold my neck when we are kissing
• smack my booty (softly) to let me know you are feeling frisky
• debate with me about politics, religion, and anything taboo
• tell me "no" at the right time
• walk up behind me and kiss my neck
• send edible arrangements to my job
• introduce me to your friends, don't just talk about me to them
• text me that you are thinking about me (occasionally, the less often the sweeter it is, because its like a treat)
• when making out, grab the back of my neck to hold me
• Look me in the eyes when you want to kiss me

The next person to say

• I act like a nigga, is gonna get karate chopped in the throat
• I have sex like a dude (all unattached) is gonna get drop kicked
• I'm mean when i'm just being honest is gonna get their eyeball flicked
• I got a phat ass like I don't put clothes over it everyday and already know that is gonna get judo chopped
• My titties are like two honeydews is gonna get flipped over
• how did you sleep is gonna get put to sleep
• Are you mixed with white because i'm light skinned is gonna get left standing there alone
• my name without the last a (cami) is gonna be slapped

That is all I have to say!

Dear him,

Cater/Pamper me like a Queen
Fuck me like a Concubine/Mistress
Love me like we were 100 years old
Be there like I know you know how to be.

Love Me :)

What are you more afraid of...

That he won't wait for you or that he will?

I was watching Castle the other day and this is what Beckett's therapist said to her, and it didn't really sink in until my favorite person said it to me almost word for word when I was talking to him about a certain someone.  It made me think about what I was holding on to. I want him, and then I don't. I feel like it going to end up like Carrie and Mr. Big from Sex and the City minus the marriage. We are going to keep going back and forth and one day I will either finally let him go or he will move on as well. I love him more than words can describe and through our problems of not being able to get on the same page for 5 years, I wonder if it is something that we have become accustomed to as a safety net or could we survive after we are official and/or on the same page. He has a special place in my heart even though we basically have a Skype relationship. Its a big concern for me, because all I want is to be happy with my future life relationship, but I don't want to miss out on someone that is meant for me playing relationship tag like its a game. How long do you wait to get what you think will make you happy? Nothing in life is absolute nor is it guaranteed, so how am I to know if this is what my life has in store for me when I am afraid of what could happen if its over or if its my path. Just something I have conflicting in my heart and head. #ImConfusedInLove

Post #200

Well what can I say? It has been a fun journey so far, and I can't wait for what is to come. Many projects with my writing in the form of books, poetry, and more blog entries. I hope those of you that read my blog regularly have enjoyed the journey thus far and what is to come. Many thanks to your loyalty and don't be shy tell me what you want to read more or less of.

From the Diva

xoxoxo

Taking it off

The stereo turned down low all you can hear are the faint whispers of a popular Maxwell song. I climb in the bed to gently wake him up, because I got home late from work. When he turns over, he smiles and wakes up to kiss me. I tell him to sit up and get comfy I have a special surprise for you. I leave him to change, and he readies himself for this surprise. When I come back I am in a sheer floor length red negligee, because that's his favorite color. I have the matching lacy underwear and fluffy heels to boot. I turn up the stereo to have something to groove to as I begin to do a striptease for him. Moving my hips from left to right dropping it as I move. My gown ties up in the front so I pull one string as I stare him in the eyes, innocently and seductively. My once lace covered breast is now exposed as I continue to dance. I let the gown fall to the ground. I play with the sides of my peek-a-boo panties. I slowly untie one side and cover my private areas while I pull the other side a loose. As soon as my panties hit the floor and I am completely exposed my man is standing at full attention. He curls his finger telling me to come closer so I climb on the bed on all fours to greet his penis with my luscious and very excited lips. I glide his shaft down my wet and watering throat. Taking him in entirely while he moans in pleasure. move up and down wrapping my tongue around his penis making it so wet. I grab his balls and get in a rhythm of massaging them and sucking his shaft. I flick the tip of his dick off the tip of my tongue a few times before I swallow his manhood whole. e reaches for my head and holds me there. I gag a little and I can feel the veins pulsate on his penis. He wants to cum but he is holding it back. He tells me he wants to feel my pussy and see how wet I am, he can't stand the anticipation of the warmth and comfort of how he perfectly fits me like a glove. I mount him to ride like a cowgirl on her stallion. Moving my hips in a circular motion as I ride up and down he can feel the deepest parts of me and I am moaning in ecstasy. My breast are bouncing up and down with every move I make. He grabs hold trying to wrangle me into his presence. I lean forward so he can get a mouthful of my bountiful chest. He whispers in my ears that he wants to go deeper. So as I get off him, he grabs my hair from behind and bends me over. Roughly taking what he wants and how he wants it. Hitting it from the back he is able to go so deep I can feel it all in my pelvis. It hurts, but is balanced with pleasure. Harder I yell. I want to explode with euphoria when I cum. He pushes my limits and I love it. Slapping my ass and pulling my hair as he pushes deeper and harder. I am about to climax and I can feel my legs already getting weak and shaking. He says he wants to cum but he needs to see my face. When he pulls out I quickly turn over and he busts all over my stomach. He collapses next to me and my legs are still shaking. I am utterly exhausted and entirely satisfied. He makes my body feel passion and my heart feel complete. That's my man and that's why he gets special treats ;)

First Date Ideas

For those of you who may be lacking in this department, for finding fun and creative first dates, here are a few ideas to spark some ideas of your own. Depending on what kind of chick you are trying to impress, the less traditional and more thought you put into it, the better. These are some great dates that won't hurt the wallet, and can be totally fun and cute. Some of the best friendships and relationships I've had have started with stuff like this. Don't take my word for it, experience it and enjoy yourself always.

• Batting cages and Jamba Juice
• Dinner at a classic Diner ( not Johnny Rockets )
• Driving to a beach city and having corn dogs at the pier
• Gallery opening for an up and coming artist.
• Comedy show
• Watching local sport leagues play their games
• Playing tourist in a famous area (ie taking pictures by the Hollywood walk of fame, Santa Monica Pier, waiting in line for Pinks Hot dogs)
• Mini golf and arcade games
• Dinner at a boutique restaurant with a funky theme (not traditional)

Is it just me?

When you meet someone new that is drop your jaw attractive, do you ever wonder if they would be good in bed? So my group of friends has regular faces that come around, so for a new face to pop up and be that hot that at least 3 females were like I want that, that says a lot. I have like a little mini crush on this guy now that he has come to two functions and I have spoken to him. He is sexy, a total gentleman, well spoken, and kind of sweet. But as I was talking to him the other night, it was loud and when he leaned in to talk to me, I damn near melted. I wanted to jump his bones right there on the pool table we were standing next to, because if he is this appealing with clothes on, what is he like with them off?
Now I don't know what theories are out there for this type of situation, but when I meet someone new that I am physically attracted to, my first thought is usually if they are going to be a good lay or not. To me that feels like a man tendency, but I don't know. I guess after that initial lust, I calm down and think rationally about what qualities a person has, but that initial I want to jump on them is hard to handle. But my question is does anyone else ever feel like this or is it just me, because I like sex? :)