My Heart

My heart is one of the most fragile things I have in my possession, so I guard it with my hard cold exterior. Its almost encased in ice at this point and then guys wonder why they have to work extra hard just to get the warmth of my love. I don't give of myself easily let alone that often, but when I do, it is something special well at least to me it is. So for a man to treat me with anything lest than the respect of a queen, it makes it all the more difficult to not laugh in his face when he claims to be real and or a King among men. I try my hardest to not deal cards from the bottom of the deck, but when you have a man that will say that he is the best thing since sliced bread, sweetie I gotta let him know what the real deal is.

My cynical views for today, because the one I trusted fucked it up for the rest of the men in my future....well at least for a while

• He thinks he broke my back=I just wanted him to stop so I faked it
• He thinks having a nice car that never has gas in it is hot=I'd rather catch the metro at least I'm being true to my means of living
• He thinks he has a big dick=he got a truck or something bigger to over compensate
• He doesn't want a woman that can think for herself=She's probably smarter than him and will leave the second she realizes it.
• He says he wants to settle down=hoes don't want to fuck him anymore so he needs that one woman that will
• He thinks cooking is a requirement in a relationship=he's to cheap/broke to cook real meals or take himself out so he want her to do it for him.

just a taste of how i'm feeling these days. My new motto: Cold As Ice, I wouldn't have me any other way. You gotta be hotter than hades and sweeter than sugar to melt me away.

Oh the holidays...

Thanksgiving is the least sexy holiday out of all the holidays. I mean people are either too tired, too stuffed, or traveling to really get any good nookie. Every other major holiday its like a requirement of the night. Valentine's Day is centered on getting some at the end of the night. St. Patricks Day, getting drunk and hooking up and same goes for Cinco De Mayo. Fourth of July watching fireworks and letting that light your romantic rendezvous. I would even stretch so far as to say Labor day is a sexier holiday than thanksgiving. Then you have Halloween which is like a free pass to dress slutty and get laid. Christmas is a romantic sexy and less of the random hook-up variety, but still the goal is to get nookie. Even on New Years, you are searching for someone to kiss at midnight and possibly more. I just think its funny that this one holiday hasn't been turned into something slutty. I love the holiday's for real reasons like reconnecting with family, sharing good meals and even presents, however the nookie aspect never escapes me. Its like on thanksgiving you get a break. At any rate I hope everyone enjoys their holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving!

No steamy stories, no cynical thoughts about men and women. I just hope everyone enjoys their thanksgiving with friends and family. Take Care and much love *MUAH*

I am not my skin...

I am sick to death of people trying to classify, justify and judge me based on the complexion of my skin. All you need to know is that I a mixed in race, but I am still woman, I am still from California, and I am still an American. What does it matter what ethnicity I associate with the most. I'm mixed which means I grab from all of my cultures. If I don't act ghetto i am not black enough, and i am considered bougie. If I don't seem Island enough, I'm not really mixed I just got "good hair". If I don't speak Portuguese or French, my family couldn't possibly be from New Orleans. You asked me what I was mixed with to get my color, my hair and my features, so why are you trying to define who I am by the heritage and cultures of my family. I didn't grow up in those areas or cultures so why would I represent them like I did. You call me fake for saying what i am mixed with, but call me a sale out for not staying true to them. Instead of worrying about how I carry myself worry about what you show the world and who you are.

Loving my curves

Loving your body at any size is an essential part of having an amazing sex life. I won't preach on and on about size beauty, because if you are anywhere near a computer or TV you hear enough of it. To have full uninhibited pleasure you have to let go of all inhibitions to begin with. Not to say you should push your moral envelope just be less concerned with how you look. Let's face it they are having sex with you because they like you for you and if it is not the case you shouldn't be jumping in the sack with them.
For the longest time I wasn't happy with my curves almost ashamed of them. (Then again what big girl hasn't gone through a phase of insecurity.) One day as I got out of the shower, not being more than 16 or 17 years old, I just stood in front of the mirror afraid to see beyond my towel. I closed my eyes tight and dropped it, and still without a peek I picked up the towel and turn my back on my body while I wrapped myself in its soft embrace. I had to have done this process over a dozen times over the next hour and a half. With my skin drying out from the shower water, my body needed lotion something fierce. After I applied the lotion, I stood up without a second thought and looked in the mirror before I could chicken out and grab my towel. For those of you who know me, you know i'm on the chunkier side of thick. I have an hour glass shape with a little extra around the middle. I stood in front of the mirror looking at every curve, shape and piece of fat that jiggled when I moved too quickly. Like most women I saw things I wanted to change, but I saw my body in a whole new light. I embraced myself and began to fall in love with my shape. My ample bust line, my voluptuous backside and thick juicy thighs. I wasn't the picture of perfection that most girls my age strive for, but I still loved what I saw. coming to terms with the fact that I would never be a size 2 like the women in magazines helped me realize the potential and sensuality in myself. I've had my share of flirtatious advances, but I have also had the scummy guys that will say anything to get anything even when they don't mean it. It takes a balance and a good sense of who is true, but in the end I had to love me for me or change it so that I could be happy and sane. With all that being said I know my guy loves my curves as much as I do and that's all I care about, me being happy and him loving me.

Sexy VS. Skanky

Sexy: blowing kisses to your beau across the dinner table.
Skanky: deep throating a bread stick at the dinner table

Sexy: lying about where you are at to surprise him with a sexy encounter.
Skanky: lying because you are with boyfriend #2

Sexy: Lacy matching bra and panty sets
Skanky: matching the carpet to the drapes and its not a natural color

Sexy: Slow dancing on a moonlit balcony
Skanky: Humping on that same public balcony

Sexy: Sending tasteful pics telling your partner your ready and for tonight
Skanky: sending raunchy pics to their work email saying I want you right now on your desk.

Sexy: packing their lunch and leaving a steamy note of a great shared memory
Skanky: packing their lunch with a note saying you will meet them in their office for dessert

Taking it Old School...

I'm taking it back to the myspace days where filling out surveys and posting it to your profile, bulletin friends wall whatever it is. I found a sex survey so it might get a little wild or maybe even "Too Much Information" about me. At any rate if you are feeling the nostalgia, copy and paste the survey and fill in your answers in the comment section.

Are you a virgin? naw haven't been for a while

Do you remember your first time? yup I was 15

If you could change your first, would you? definitely I would have waited till at least 17 or 18

Favorite Position? doggiestyle

Foreplay or Roleplay? tough one...foreplay

Rough or sensual? Idk...can I get a mix? lol

Have you ever had a one night stand? yeah

Do you prefer to make love or f*ck? depends on if i'm in love, but most likely fuck

Do you like kissing during sex? yes

Would you consider yourself loud or quiet? not quiet but not super loud either

Do you moan? yeah

Do you like to talk dirty? oh no...lol

Do you like to have your hair pulled? yeah a little not to much tho

Do you like to be spanked? oh yeah

How many sexual partners have you had in the last month? 2

Could you live without sex? not a chance

Do you like oral sex? love it :)

How many times have you had sex in one day? the most...6

Have you ever had a 3-some? haha see previous entry on it :)

Have you ever been caught in the act? no, almost but never actually caught

What's your biggest turn on? spontaneity

Have you ever had sex with someone else in the room? no...Awkward...lol

Are you still gonna have sex when you're 70? I doubt it

Have you ever used toys during sex? yeah I got my treasure chest

Have you ever tied someone up during sex? yup and it was awesome

Have you ever been tied up during sex? see previous answer

Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? yes

Can you remember who gave you the worst? ugh...yes

Do you get down and dirty? ummm have we been listening to my answers...lol

Ever been with someone you regret? yup

(Girls) Are you a scratcher? if i have my acrylics yeah

(Girls) Do you like to be on top? sometimes

When is the best time of day to have sex? whenever i'm horny

When was the last time you had sex? after my sisters wedding
Where was the last place you had sex? in the back seat of his rental car

Do you remember who it was with? yeah...lmao

Was it with a person you love? naw...he's cool tho

How long did it last? long enough ;)

Did they enjoy it? yeah he was happy

Did you enjoy it? of course

Do you regret having sex with this person? naw not at all

Longest you've gone without sex? one semester so about 4 months

Do you like sex? *in my "clueless" voice* Like duh

This is how the neighbors know our names...

That Trey Songz hit song "the neighbors know my name" sparks so many interesting questions in my mind and thanks to the people at Cosmo I have what some would call insight and what I would call a reference point. Do guys prefer women to moan, scream, talk dirty or be as quiet as a mouse? While reading the latest edition of Cosmo, because it always makes me laugh, I look for one section in particular, it's the one where women get their info on what guys are getting told about them. It makes me wonder sometimes if in men's magazines they get told what we get told about them, but that's a post for another day. In this particular entry, it details that of the hundreds of men polled, percentage wise "should you bring noise in the bed?"

• an overwhelming 63% prefer MOANS
• 18% wanted HEAVY BREATHING
• 13% liked DIRTY TALK
• 5% cared for SUPER-LOUD SCREAMS
• 1% lonely as ever wanted to hear PRIMAL GRUNTS

so these are the statistics and not so surprisingly, there were no entries for being quiet. Who knew? I guess it doesn't matter what other guys want as long as my guy gets what he likes, but as always its just something on my mind.

How To Love A Black Woman...

Black women are the rarest of creatures, they can make you crazy, happy, angry calm all wrapped into one. So when people say black women are too much work, its probably because they don't want to put in the effort to deal with the strong will. Now before the guys that read my blog get their undies in a bunch let me explain to you a little something, Black women are strong willed, strong headed and goal oriented. They tend to be well rounded, multi-faceted in many skills and very nurturing. The image of black women has been tainted by the ratchet, hot ghetto messes that are put on pedestals instead of the Michelle Obama's , Lena Horne's, and Gwendolyn Brooks of the times. If you don't know who any of these women are, you've just proved my point. Now to continue, how to love a black woman is simple and complicated all in one. I hope you wouldn't expect anything less.

• We like to feel wanted and needed but don't want you to be clingy.
• We are willing to go to work, have the kids and keep the household, with the intention that you will help even when we say we don't want it.
• Don't mistake the gold diggers for the ones who want financial security. (I can do it on my own, but a family that I want requires two stable and healthy incomes)
• I will ask my girlfriends for advice on how to deal with you as you will ask your boys, so when I come back with some outlandish theory, all you have to do is settle my concerns by proving you are on the up and up. ( if you're not doing dirt then why are you so defensive?)
• No woman black or otherwise wants a weak man. She might get one, but she doesn't want one.
• Black women are pre-disposed to have a cold exterior. (warm her heart and she's your forever)
• Through history, black women have been looked at as a conquest and not a treasure, so when you find gold don't act like its foil.

I feel like this is a broad enough overview of how to successfully love a black woman, but keep in mind it varies case to case, because women aren't the same just like men aren't. But with a general idea it makes things a little bit more manageable ;-)

My temptation...

I feel limited in my future sexual conquests when I think of my new guy. I like him so much and I choose to take the time to get to know him without the distraction of other competitors, however the ceiling seemingly made of glass that is placed on how much sexual frustration my body can take leads me to feel like I can't wait for him to be in the same wave length as me, but on a divergent path I must wait to take. He stimulates my mind, but my body doesn't care to wait so do I pursue him with only a lustful eye in others or do I release the frustration and then focus on him? When it comes to the building of our future, are the risks of accepting temptation worth the potential loss of a pure love. I want for only him emotionally and mentally but can I still have him if I let someone else handle me physically while he is not here? With all this being said, is it even a question if I am not exclusively with him? So with all this being said, pleasure's greatest accomplishments are with an untainted love, so should I not be able to wait for it to occur with someone more deserving than the closest temptation.

He moves me....

I am  consumed by every ounce of his being. The love I have for him is soul shaking, body quaking, mind quivering, can't eat, can't sleep, all I think about is him passionate.
HE MOVES ME!

I love the sound of his voice as it graces my ear. The way he drops his voice a little to sound more manly when he answer the phone makes my spine tingle.

HE MOVES ME!

I love the way his skin feels against mine. From his hands to his toes the smooth caress of his body when he holds me, makes me melt.

HE MOVES ME!

I love his educated mind. He stimulates my thought more than the average, making me wonder about civilizations past and journeys of the future.

HE MOVES ME!

I have his mind, his body his soul, because I have given him all that he can desire. He moves me, because I move him.

Flavor of the Week

So I finally caught flavor of the week on a Monday, its about time. so with that being said the flavor of the week is

Making Videos

nothing nasty you pervs, but i'm really feeling like doing more vlogs is going to be fun.