September 13, 2014

Double Life...

It took me far too long to get the clarity of mind that I have about my life. I have snuck around for years to live my double life, and I couldn't submerge myself in either life without my happiness suffering. So I live in a perpetual state of trying not to fail while keeping my life a float. I am at a breaking point where I am no longer trying to lead a life that makes someone else happy, but lead a life that brings me joy. If I am constantly living to appease someone else so that I have a safe place, is it really a safe place? It makes me angry to know that I have to hide part of me, but how long can I hide before it completely breaks my spirit. I am tired of feeling mediocre when I know I'm better, but with my life divided and spread too thin, I cannot grow. I'm fucking tired...I'm done with complacency and the leverage other people try to have over what I do. I am my own person, 26 years old and sick to death of old tired methodology trying to constrict the natural evolution of my creativity. I'm strong enough to know that I've been held down emotionally, but not strong enough to fight it. I'm strong enough to recognize my shortcomings, but not yet wise enough to change them. I have learned what I life I want to live, so no more doubles, just one.
I am strong.
I am powerful.
I am ME.

Just wait on it!

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