My Heart Ache

My love for you was hotter than a summer day.
The pain you left me is colder than a winter night.
We hoped for a happier time,
But our weaknesses defined us.
My trust issues,
And your lack of commitment.
Swearing things will be different one day.
Yet everyday still being the same.
I can't love you like I want to,
Like I used to.
With everyday behind us,
I draw in the strength of others,
The hope that I will move on.
Breathing life into my own hope,
That I will be happy again.

Ways I Can Tell It Has Been Too Long

~ When the bass in my car vibrates my seat a little too much. (making me a little moist)
~ I snap at folks that say Hi in the morning. (like why are you so happy)
~ I reconsider things I would have said no to if I just got some. (cheating, the type of dude, or venue)
~ I get a little bolder, a little flirty, a little inappropriate.
~ Everything has sexual undertone. (from food to parts of conversations)
~ I drunk text exes and past booty calls I wrote off as no longer being acceptable.

Just a few warning signs...that I need to pounce ;-)

The Past, Present and Future

Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, I am no exception. The main difference being, I have nothing to hide. I wear my mistakes on my sleeve, because without them, you wouldn't know the fabulous chick you see before you. I don't give a FUCK what any lame ass bitch has to say about me. If I fuck with you, you already know me, If I don't why are you wasting time talking about me. It's gonna get back to me regardless, and you're a BITCH NIGGA for gossiping to begin with. If you want to know the truth about me, ASK ME, because I'll tell you. No man or woman can judge me or shake my core. I gives a fuck about you and your ignorant mind, so please believe if I see you in the streets we're not friends so I will treat you as such. We got nothing to talk about. Don't hug me, don't speak, just keep it pushing. As far as what's next for me, I got many things in motion, and I don't need gossiping, sneaky, messy bitches and whack niggas in my world.

To My Best Friend, My Dream Chaser....

It was fun having the idea of you as my love for life. Truer words were never spoken than when you said to me that your dad's best friend is his ex-wife. They were better friends than lovers. We are better at chasing the dream than we ever could have been together. I think about the last 5 years and everything we have been through, and for some reason I keep letting you back in, even though I know you always break my heart. You want what you want from me, and say you care about my happiness, but do you mean it is the question that plagues my heart. The best thing for the both us is to move on. I'm not good for you, and you're not good for me. The last time you heard my voice has come and past. I wish many more years of happiness and success in all that you do, and all that you are to become. I can't hold my life for you anymore. We have grown apart as we have also grown up. we aren't 19 and 21 anymore, we are so far beyond those years in this short time that I am not the same and neither are you. My heart always beats for you, but my drum needs this solo. I will miss you terribly, but it's a heartache I can recover from.

Music Post

This song gives me life EVERY TIME I listen to it, so I wanted to share with you all :)

A few things about me and sex

1. I enjoy sex, trying new things, new venues, new people. If you feel like I should shelter my urges and keep the cookie to myself, you weren't raised right. Sharing is caring, just don't let everyone grab a piece, save it for those you like and are worthy of such a delicious treat.
2. Bitches that talk about how good their pussy is, are the exact same as Boys who talk about how big their junk is. Nobody believes you, because you are all talk.
3. If you know me, and ask to see my nipple piercings I will most likely just pop out my boob. I love how it looks, and who doesn't mind seeing titty.
4. I enjoy giving head almost as much as getting good stroke game, but that doesn't mean i will suck up any dude that tries to get me. I'm picky about what I put in my mouth

Just a few things I needed to get off my chest. I have to remind myself that not everyone views sex like I do, but I know there are others out there. I can talk about what I like for days, which is why I started the book "More Than You Can Handle". I need to finish, too many people keep asking me about it. 

BOSSMAN

I think this video speaks for itself.

Summer Passion

Summertime with the weather being right and the breeze being fresh, the best moments between me and him occur.  I want his body as I watch him work, tending to the lawn mowing the grass as I wish he was mowing me. The fan blows on the front porch picking up the slack in between the wind. Fresh lemonade in the pitcher I call his name, "Thomas, would you like a glass?". He shuts his machinery off to come hither. I suck on the straw as he approaches, and with my lips pursed around the tip of it, he just smiles. He knows what's in my eyes as I look him over. His skin being sun kissed and lightly covered with sweat. He is all man, strong hands and build. I want his body pressed against mine, experiencing pure ecstasy in summer bliss. He leans over to whisper in my ear, but picks me up instead. Almost thrown over his shoulder, he carries to the bedroom and lays me down. No underwear in the summer time he goes to work on my pussy, tasting my juices instantly. His hunger for me is intoxicating, while my legs shake from the pleasure I am drunk in passion and peaking in climax over and over again. He has taken my lust and made it his. Getting one last shiver out before he rips my dress off completely. While I am naked and hungry for him, he turns it back to me and decidedly pins me back down only to undress his long throbbing dick. My eyes wide with excitement, he thrusts inside of me and filling in perfectly. Moans turning into screams of euphoria, my optimum excitement has been exceeded. What I thought would be my dominance in his pleasure turned out to be his plan of attack on mine. When he climaxes he pulls out and explodes his manly juice all on my stomach making me laugh and giggle. It was a welcome end to taste and see. Pulling up his pants he goes back to work grinning and satisfied while I go back to sip lemonade on the porch and watch him work.

Stella Rosa and Life Contemplation

This right here can be a cold mix, but in other cases eye opening. I am learning that what I need and what I want are so far from where I am. I want more out my job, my love, my family and friends. I need to be happy with what I am blessed with before I throw it all away.

I need for my life to be more than drunken nights and hook-ups.
I need for my life to be more than baked goods and making others happy.
I need for my sorrow and pain to stop haunting my joy and happiness.

I am perfectly content with where I am, but for me to be happy and stress-free I need more. I'm capable of it. I might not be the best mother fucka at everything, but I am damn good at what I set my heart to.

But all I can do for now is be the best at where I am, till I can be the best at what makes me truly happy.

Don't mind me y'all this is just the Stella talking...the frustration talking...the lack of faith in me talking.

Sex Walking...

not what you might think reading that title, but none the less, I am talking about shoes. I love high heels, mostly in the bedroom, but I love them all the same. I was looking over my pinterest and I noticed my slight addiction to re-pinning them. I am a flip flop/barefoot girl at heart, but when it comes to grabbing hold of them mothafuckas in the bedroom nothing gets me wet faster. The sensuality they add and the sex appeal when wearing nothing a pair of those bad boys is utterly priceless. The higher the better, and the more colorful the easier to mix and match with lingerie and my skin tone. There is no downfall to wearing high heels unless you're walking from club to club.

My New Struggle

I guess I have a tendency to care about the things people over look, but if we didn't have people like me in the world, where would the big picture people be. Lost and more frustrated than I am when dealing with them. Whether it is in relationships, friendships or work, this is an issue that comes up. People always want to look at the end result with out taking into consideration the process. True balance within self comes from understanding of others and making it work. I'm here, just waiting for you join the club.

10 Things You Should Know About Me! (*Revised*)

1. I put up with a lot of shit before I cut you off. I work through it and try to overlook it, but when I'm done it will be like we never knew each other.
2. My sexual preference is often, so please believe I don't care what anyone has to say. I'm gonna do me. Sleep with whoever I choose whenever I choose. 
3. To butter me up do not send flowers. They die and then I am left with a mess. If I have to clean up extra you will not be around long.
4. Do not be clingy. Pretty straight forward, if you do not have your own life and other friends, we can never be. I need my space
5. Marriage is sacred to me. I take it very seriously, so it will take a lot for anyone to convince me that it is worth it in today's society to be an endpoint option in a relationship. Do something that shows me its real.
6. Tie me up, choke me a little, smack my ass, and I am putty in your hands. I like it rough, savage and passionate.
7. I will call you stupid six ways before you ever realize and I will say it with a smile. Push my buttons and you will see just how far I will go and just how much I can take.
8. I do not consider myself bi-sexual, but I have enjoyed getting it in with a sexy thick female before.
9. I am not looking for love in the near future, but I'm not hiding either. Things happen the way they do for a reason. 
10. I love hard, I play hard, I work hard, I party hard. I want to end up at my grave worn out and lived in not pristine and kept.

Definition of FLING:

Fling: making an intimate connection with someone for a short time with no intention of long term commitments. Not always sexual, can be non-sexual as in finding a new activity, taking a class, or traveling solo where you meet someone.

The best flings are with people that aren't from the same place as you. If they are visiting from another state or country it is a perfect opportunity to make a memory that the two of you can share for a lifetime even though you will never meet again.

The worst flings are with people that end up stalking you or catching feelings. They do outlandish things such as move to the same city as you or befriend you/your friends on social networking sites. They try to make whatever you had with them last, and try to trap you with commitment instead of letting go.

Plans for the summer:

You can either get on board or get out of my way!!!

• Wine tours in Temecula
• Trip to Las Vegas
• Learn a new skill
• Go to the Beach 25 times and take pictures each time
• Summer Fling*
• EPIC SUMMER BBQ!!
• Have sex in a public area during daylight hours [towards the end of summer after I get it in with the workouts ;-) ]
• San Diego Trip for beaches and booze and the MEN!!!
• Santa Barbara Weekend

*Fling to be defined in later post

Summer Time...Summer Time...

The sun is getting warmer and the shorts are getting higher. It is that special time of year when summer flings are the best and groupie lists at an all star level. The thing I love most about the summer is that simple breeze you get when you have raw passionate sex on a blanket outdoors. Getting ready for the Stroke season, so fellas make sure your rhythm is down pact and ladies make sure you keep your feet and nails done. Summer Lovin' ain't get called that for no reason ;)

The Senses Within Us

Touch me in a way that drives me wild
Kiss me in a way that the thought lingers
Love me in a way that I will never forget
Challenge me in a way that betters my spirit
Taste me in a way that exhausts me
Smell me in a way that excites you

He Is More Than Just My Man...

If I wanted you, I'd have you.
Stop acting like some rare commodity,
When all you are is just another nigga trying to front like a good man.

I have walked away from men better than you,
So don't think you'll be an exception.
I won't settle for less,
I won't play your games,
I won't be a fool for you.

I found a better man,
He pleases me.
From my head to toes,
from my heart to soul,
from my mind to body.

He is everything I need and want in a man.
He is everything I wanted you to be.
He is my Man.

With smiles in my heart, and glow in my face,
I am truly happy being alone but with him.

<3

The Pressure...

I hate the feeling of having to be "ON", like I have to be upbeat, happy and turned up full blast all the time. What I feel like people fail to realize is that every sun sets, every rainbow ends and every Diva needs a break. When it comes to my writing, I enjoy when people like it. I feel inferior when I put out a piece and people rave about it, and then come with something new and get no love. If I am not overly happy, I'm grumpy. If I snap back, its my "black woman attitude". If I have an attitude or keep it blunt, I don't mean it disrespectfully, I just don't feel like being "ON". I'm not an entertainer, so I don't intend on being perfect or putting on shows. I'm gonna do me and if you don't like it sometimes, you can deal with it. 

Party Till You Cum...

Having had a boyfriend all through high school, I didn’t pay much attention to the boys in my high school; At least not until I came back from college and everybody got amazingly hot. We are starting a new tradition of having summer barbecues, and as adults we enjoy the drink, the food and the company of seeing friends we may not get to see all the time. I spend most of the day helping my best friend set up while indulging in beers and mixed cocktails. By the time the first guests arrive I am feeling pretty good, a little loose off the goose if you will. Kyle walks in, and I am in the midst of flirting with another young man, and I can feel my jar drop a little bit. I haven’t seen him since high school graduation and now I am full grown. He meets and greets with everyone and I just sit there keeping an eye on him while flirting with the other young man. I am drinking this whole time, but still having fun being the life of the party. We have a number of people coming through here and another one of our high school friend’s parties down the street. So I decide to kick up the flirting with Kyle since guy number one is about to leave. I challenge him to go shot for shot, a little drinking game to get him as loose as me. We go back and forth flirting, and as I am getting more and more intoxicated, I have stepped up my touchy feely factor. I am rubbing on his back and chest, down his thigh and sneaking in times where I am stroking his dick. He tries hard to hide his hard dick, but it is a struggle for him. I walk away leaving him to deal with that as I go hang out with some of our other friends.

For the next hour or so, we play the flirt game just waiting for it to die down and get a moment to ourselves. The party is slowly dying down because it is getting late. People have gravitated to the house and I pull him to the side to get a little frisky. Its at least 1’o’clock in the morning at this point. We begin making out in the front yard and it is somewhat sloppy, and completely exciting. Anyone can walk by, come outside or even pull up, which only fuels my fire to do more and enjoy this ecstasy. He takes control and my pussy is on the brink of exploding. Grabbing my neck and bending me over, he penetrates me; I scream out in pain and pleasure, so he reaches forward and covers my mouth. I can’t help but moan, and with every thrust he goes deeper and brings me closer to climax. I can feel his dick pulsating inside me creating the sensation similar to that of a playful adult toy. So I reach back and play with my clit to double the pleasure and ensure maximum satisfaction. After I reach orgasm my legs are too weak to stay up to let him finish. Before I collapse completely I turn around and rip off the condom to thoroughly take in every bit of him in my mouth. I stoke his dick with a slight twist in my wrist. He moans as I flick my tongue on the tip with every movement. I grab his balls and play with them before inhaling them in my mouth to suck on them. He grabs onto the top of the gate to keep from going limp in the knees. I let go of everything and let my jaw do the work, taking him as far back into my throat as I possibly can until I can make him cum. When he reaches climax he explodes in my mouth and fills it with his warm cum. I just smile as it runs down my chin. I spit it out and grab a cup of jungle juice while I fixed myself up before re-entering the rest of the party. Even if we never hook up again, when I see him, I just smile, because we have a secret that is just ours.

More Than Expected...

I don't mind my writing being out there, I mean hell I put it on the Internet. I was a little embarrassed, because my co-workers were of course teasing me, because it is a vulnerable side of me. But my writing is deep rooted and tied to my ego. I'm proud of everything that I produce, while I need to edit a lot of my work on here, I still love every piece. If you guys are reading this, well played, I can take a joke. Not as well as I can take a dick, but that's a different story. I say this to say, this blog is me, its raw, its sexual, its personal, and emotional. I give no fucks about what people think of me, and I will always write from my soul. No matter how sensual, sexual, or emotional it is. It is always ME!

Love always,

Dymond Diva