My poem for him...

My thoughts of him are poetic.
I want to write to him
In a way that he can understand how open I am with a simple look
In a way that he sees my sensuality before I place my lips on him
In a way that transcends any connection made, because we were made for one another.

He brings my day joy with a schoolboy infatuation.
He makes me smile with his warm heart and flirty demeanor.
His voice sends chills down my spine.

I want him. I want all of him
Mind body and soul
I want to be the woman he needs and
I want to be the woman he wants.
I want to be his smile as he is mine.

So my thoughts of him are poetic,
but I am not a poet,
Just infatuated

Sex, Heart, and Passion

My sexual freedom is not the definition of who I am
But what is a small fraction of how I act.
No man or woman on this Earth can define me
Better than me.
I allow you to see certain parts of who I am
But having the full picture you wouldn't know how to act.
My full story still being written
With some good dialogue so far.
Preach to me the goodness in my heart
and I'll show you the depths of my soul.
There is nothing you can tell me
about me
that I don't already know.
I say this to say,
Who I sleep with is none of your business
but if its part of what i'm sharing
you need to wise up and listen to what i'm saying.

Cake...Cake...Cake...

So you want me, but not really, and to top it off nobody else can have me. Selfish niggas like you make me sick. How dare you be possessive when you not trying to claim me fully, and then have the audacity to be jealous when someone else is interested. If you not putting in work, why would I? I'm no man's option. If you want me, get me, if you don't, move along. You are wasting my time and I'm not going to play your games. Putting me as a side chick will never keep you warm at night, and it won't get your dick wet, so remember that the next time you say you miss me, or you want me, or hell even when you say "what's up". Don't try to give me girlfriend duties if all you want is booty. I'm too comfortable being alone and pleasing myself to deal with a lame nigga that just wants my goods. If I don't give you the time of day, it's for a reason!

Guess Who Started Dating?

that's right, after a LONG relationship drought, I have started dating again. I am looking to the future and becoming more of an adult in this area. While old habits die hard, I have noticed some strong progress in myself and it has even been recognized by some of my friends. I leap before I look, and tend to get hurt, but every leap is a new adventure for me, which I am thoroughly awaiting to lead me to a companion worthy of making me truly happy. Back on the dating scene, and i'm going speed dating in a couple weeks, with a couple dates lined up this week. I'm excited :)

Think About It!

I came across this picture as I scrolling through my facebook timeline, and it made me pause and really think about the answer. Honestly 5 people came to mind when I answered it. I won't put all of their names out there like that, but its so true. I wish when I met them, I knew how much they would hurt, how much they would change my life, and how much they would damage me. Then I think about it some more, and if I didn't know them or knew them differently, maybe I wouldn't be who I am today. Let's face it, it took me a long time to get to where I am, however I have fallen in love with myself, so having that kind of perspective I wouldn't change anything that got me there.

How many years...How many tears...this is where we are love

The audacity of some of you niggas...

YOU DON'T DESERVE A FUCKING AWARD FOR LIKING, FUCKING OR DATING A FAT CHICK. You are not doing a good deed for acting on something you are attracted to. If you think otherwise, you are a waste of space on this Earth

Boy Toy get no love from me...

"I have a hard time trusting a man that wants to be with me, but doesn't want to be with me"

I have no problem having a boy toy that I can call up for the get down, but there is a line I can't cross emotionally with them. If we are just fucking you don't get to see my heart, or be apart of my ambitions. We are here for this and this alone, so if I stop talking to you or become unresponsive I feel as though you are crossing into territory that is not yours to invade. My favorite boy toy of all time, knows me better sexually than anyone else. We have had relations for over 6 years, and still going strong. He gets out of line calling me for friend type shit or trying me on some boyfriend type ish, but the dick is good, so on occasion I let him slide. But back to my main point, I already have a hard time trusting men, but a man that wants to lay with me but not be with me, gets the bare minimum effort sexually, and gets nothing emotionally. You aren't even worth the emotional investment, because your man goal is to get me naked and make your dick wet. Never sleep with someone you already have an emotional relationship with, because if they don't want to be with you, then they shouldn't be in your bed. I have learned this the hard way, but I have finally learned it.

One Last Chance...

I opened my heart back up to the possibilities of him, and what did he do? Exactly what I thought he would, NOTHING. Don't tell me you miss me if you don't mean it, Don't tell me you are ready for something you so clearly are not, Don't speak to me if you have nothing new to say. You keep playing this game, but I forfeit. I want no parts of a game that I've been ready to play for quite some time now. You had me, You had me when nobody else could have me. You have wasted my moments and stirred feelings in my heart for the last time. You've had far too many chances with me, and now I'm done. Don't worry about calling, you're blocked. Don't worry about social medias, I won't respond. Don't worry about my blog the name is changing soon. We are beyond done and no amount of false promises and I'm sorry's can make it right. There will never be an US. You have made that bed so lay in it.

Buh-Bye!

I want this kind of LOVE

Fuck me like a Man...

Fuck me like your life depended on it.
Tell me I'm a bad girl when you spank me
And pull my hair as you choke me.

I want a man that can fuck me like you did
But that can make me happy like you didn't.

Caress my hair as I suck your dick.
Be a man about fucking,
not a bitch like the role you been playing.

Slap me a little as I climb on top,
Suck my breasts as I ride you
every stride brings me closer to your lips.

Bend me over
And Thrust your dick inside my inviting pussy lips.

Fuck me hard,
Fuck me slow,
and when I scream out in ecstasy you will know
my pain and my pleasure.

I want the carnal passion of fucking you
Mixed with
The intimacy of having you inside me.

"There's no more men left, just bitch niggas..."

The realest statement I have heard in quite some time. I'm sure men will jump on this and defend their gender, but before you get your panties in a bunch, listen to what is being said. Good men, strong men, MEN, are in rare form. They aren't extinct, but they are hard to come by. Scared to be who they are, by letting another man or group of men dictate how they should act. Giving pause to think about how someone else is looking or acting instead of being the best man they can be. To put it crudely and bluntly, they more of a bitch than bitch. IF a man is more involved in having female traits why would a woman be with that, when most women now a days show more manly traits than them. She might as well just get a woman, because at least then she knows what she's getting. Some men say women killed chivalry, but its not true, when in all actuality the fact that women wanted to be more independent shouldn't deter you from being you. Chivalry died when it stopped being cool to be respectful to women. If more people stayed true to who they are chivalry would be revived. Perpetrating this image of how men and women are supposed to be because big business and social medias told you so make the world weak.

For your viewing pleasure I found this video and it inspired a conversation with some friends, which sparked  me to even think about and then write this post. 

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

4 Types of Men...

• Good Men with bad tendencies
• These men are quality in character, strength, charisma, and so much more, but have been tainted by bad relationships and influenced by negative friends. Their decent nature taken for granted far too many times not because they make poor choices but because common decency isn't reciprocated. They get ruined and turned into assholes which perpetuates the cycle of bad relationships. Good men with bad tendencies create trust issues and hurt more than a bad man in your world. It gives false hope to relationship happiness. 
• Good Men
• It's true when they say they are either gay, taken or a fucking unicorn. Good men have paid their dues and found a partner that makes them happy. So when it comes to good women finding them, they are snapped up so quickly only to have good women preyed on by bad men who speak a good game. Good men have found who they are, and found balance in what they want out of life. This kind of personalized clarity is not easy to come by. Good men have processed and dealt with emotional baggage, surpassed childish peer pressure, and have a confidence that is unlike any other. A good man is respected for his hard work and praised for his character. Rare these days, but not impossible to find.
• Bad Men with good tendencies
• These men are usually the cheaters and abusers. They cheat, get caught and try to make it up with doing the things he should have been doing all along. The abusers are verbally destructive and in a lot of cases physically because they want to feel superior, but no good man lays hands on a woman for that reason. These men are not even worth of being called men, because they are scum that try to wear this mask of good nature. They buy flowers to apologize instead of to say I love you. They buy jewelry to make you forget about the bad they did instead of for romance. 
• Bad Men
• The utter bottom of the totem pole, with no decency or good will towards woman. They walk around like God's gift to women and demand praise for mediocrity. The perpetual cycle of bad behavior passed down from father to son or lack of father to naive boy. They are not even worth mentioning, because they deserve no recognition. They shouldn't exist, but for some reason seem to be so prevalent in today's society. 

Which one have you portrayed lately? Are you worthy of the woman you call your own? or are you just building on her emotional baggage so that one day she won't be able to shake it off because you have damaged her heart that much. A quality man thinks of every decision he makes when it comes to a woman so as not to hurt her or bring her pain. 

Random Thoughts...that aren't so random...

I have no patience for a man that doesn't know how to be a man. I need a man willing to take control, tame me so to speak, because I have a wild child spirit, with the mentality of an ambitious woman. A dangerous combination, because I like to do what I want, but what I want is a fulfilling career and husband. So I'm torn at the age I am and at the age where I will settle down. Lost in a generation that doesn't believe in love, too weak to move on from heartache and too prideful to let someone help them. What happened to strength that our culture had to endure during the hardships of slavery and discrimination; but someone disagreeing with you makes you run and hide and be mean to the next person willing to try to love you. What happened to the Kings and Queens that built empires with strength, courage and wisdom? Why is it if a woman is doing better than you, you would rather give up instead of asking for better within and vice versa? It puzzles me sometimes, it really does!

What are we?

Dear Future Partner,

Let me show you the light at the end of the tunnel. My heart has been hurt by too many people, but I still survived. Through compassion, nurturing, and time I have been healed. I am open to a love like ours could possibly be. Trust me when I say our ups and downs will have nothing to do with emotions but things that will make porn stars blush. I want to tease you, please you, and keep you happy. I want to cook for you, clean for you, be the woman and wife material you dreamed of. But don't get it twisted, I will be a full time career woman. Bringing home my share of the bacon to the castle we build together. If you are tired of being strong, take some of my strength to carry on. If you need to cry, rest your head on my shoulder to let it out. If you need courage, I am willing to be there and support you. On days that seem the darkest, look to me for light. I want less parties and more dinners, I want less drama and more comedy, I want less dating and more  quiet nights at home with you. I'm ready to build a love that makes cupid proud. So when you're ready to find me, I'll be waiting, open mind and open heart ready.

Love always

Camia

Hmmm just like that...

You make my lips water

And my thighs quake for you.

I want to feel you inside me.

Press your lips against my skin.

Taste my body and indulge.

Caress my curves as you slide in.

I want to taste you from the tip of your dick

To the base of your shaft

As you glide down my throat.

Just fuck me,
No more sensuality,
Just passion.

Ignite a fire in my heart.
And watch how hot it gets.

What's Wrong With Me?

Am I ugly? Does my personality suck? Do I wear too many emotions on my sleeve? Do I demand too much of men? What's wrong with me to the point where I can't find a man that is worth the time and energy? Like is every dude in LA trying to be a rapper, actor or baller? Where are the doctor's, lawyers, entrepreneurs  The men that have ambition outside of making money to be flashy. I just want a nice guy that appreciates me, and the fact that I would do whatever I could to keep them happy. I have so much love in my heart, but it is wasted on boys that wear grown man pants. The time isn't right, the connection isn't there, the something is always going to be off. When is it my turn to be happy with someone? Because I refuse to settle for someone that isn't worthy of me, that doesn't work for love like I do. I guess I'm just frustrated seeing people I know taken for granted in their relationships, but I'm single. Whatever, I guess this is the life for me right now.

Are you open?

Open your lungs and breathe
Open your eyes and see
Open your heart and love
Open your mind and learn

Nothing holds us back more than closed off emotions, experiences, and the negativity that puts pressure on our hearts and minds. Don't allow someone else to experience life for you, be in control. Speak a piece that defines you, not just what others will say about you. You are more than your words, because actions are what make the world go round. Are you living to be alive or are you alive to be living? Think about it, when was the last time you did things for the better of your heart and mind instead of what others told you that you should be doing. Don't be fooled by the American dream of white picket fences and happily ever after because not everyone has the same picture, but the goal will always remain the same, to be happy, healthy and successful. So ask yourself, are you open to what life offers?