Some of my girlfriends were talking about they can never find decent "dateable" men. So i posed the question, Where do you go to meet them? almost all of them say I don't really go out and when I do its to a bar or club. With a blank stare on my face, I say no wonder you don't find anyone dateable, most of those men are not there to find love they are there to find booty. In general, I don't go out much to bars and clubs, but I often frequent coffee shops and bookstores, as well as art galleries and other fun spots that I happen to meet young and old eligible men worthy of courtship and serious commitment. Now mind you the young women I keep close to me as dear friends are educated, independent, and career-goal oriented definitely worthy of companionship, yet still single. It honestly baffles me. My conclusion drawn from this is that its the pool that they are pulling from not the ones they are pulling. I keep telling them to find a different pool. This can come from a variety of places.
1) Step outside your race- Me being a black female, a lot of my friends are black. Not all, but a lot of them are. The community they grew up in projects the image of only dating inside your race and not really venturing out, because of stereotypes and ignorance in the world. And the biggest societal influence is parents tell their sons and daughters "Don't bring home a white (girl/guy)" Just to let you all know its 2010 I think we are a little beyond race being an issue in finding a mate that makes you happy. (Well at least we should be)
2) Go different places-This could be as simple as go to a different Starbucks or Jamba Juice to mix up your routine or as extravagant as traveling to different states and countries. Living in Hawaii, I was exposed to different races and cultures which in turn exposed me to a lot of different penis. (sorry if you felt that was crude, but its the truth) Go the extra mile to meet someone new even if you don't ever date them, you have experienced a new pool that you can dip into. As far as travel, you could meet the love of your life in an airport and never know it because you were to into your own world to be bothered.
3) Befriend new people- I'm not saying date everyone that ever hits on you, but ask them are they open to the idea of friendship. Good people often surround themselves with other good people. If nothing romantic comes from you two dating, they may know someone that will be the one true love you are looking for.
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