Am I Even Ready?

This post is going to show my vulnerability a little bit, so be easy on the feedback.

I am a 22 year old young vibrant woman. By society's standards, I should be making moves towards finding a job/career and looking for a serious partner so as to spend the rest of my life with. If you know me personally you know I have been engaged twice, never married but engaged to who I thought could be the love of my life. It's difficult to admit, but I keep looking at men being the problem why I haven't settled down with one or even slowed my flirtatious behavior. I have yet to look at myself as the problem. I never even fathomed that maybe I wasn't ready for a grown up relationship, because I try to be focused and put together for myself not really opening my eyes to the possibility of another person to share my life with. I get so focused on not being called a girl that it takes away from me maturing as a woman. I know how to be a grown up independent woman, but do I know how to be a grown up woman in a committed relationship? The short answer would be no. I can logically process the needs of how to love a man, and how to let him love me, but to put in motion and carry through with my own emotion is a little bit more difficult for me to grasp. I know it is something I want in the future, because I have made strives to make it happen, but I think until I am ready I will just keep playing the field and dating who I like.