Graceful Exit???

It's awkward to wake up next to someone you met last night, but how do you leave gracefully from something so ungraceful.

-I mean what if one party involved catches feelings, and wants to pursue it? oh this was fun, but i'm cool. That is liable to get someone slapped male or female.
-What if you had beer goggles on, and they are butt crack ugly? Oh God, how much did I drink last night? That is not only rude and hurtful, but very much slap worthy.
But none the less whatever the situation may be, it's difficult to just be like I gotta dip, with out coming off as a rude, insensitive jerk. But here's a few things that have worked for me, where I didn't come off as a horrible person.
-I had an amazing time with you, but i gotta run. Class in a little while. before they realize its Sunday you are out the door and in a cab home.
-I have an early meeting so I can't stay the night. Easy and simple, nobody questions it and you are good to go.
-I had fun, maybe in another life we could have been more, but if its fate, we will meet again. Mother earthy, and before they figure out that you are blowing them off, you're dressed and gone.
At any rate, use something that works for you, and not something outlandish, because it brings up to many questions, and puts you in a situation where you can get slapped or stalked as per my previous entry about one-night stands.

Flavor of the Week

This is going to be a new feature on my blog. This can be something i'm really into, that could be passing, but maybe you share the interest and can enlighten me a little. I will pick anything under the sun weather it be, a topic, idea, activity, person, whatever. This weeks flavor is

Photography

I am fairly into photography as of recent, and I am loving the pictures I take and the pictures i come across. I would love to shoot models. Not the model type, but average people, from being happy together sitting on a bench to the most intimate of their sensuality together. The only problem is finding a couple brave enough to "model" for me. But anyway that is this weeks flavor come up with your own, develop new interests and passions along the way.

And Guys Call Us Complicated...

I keep seeing all these tweets saying how complicated/confusing women are, and without a doubt I agree. However, men aren't as simple as they claim to be. They want:

• A woman that's independent but still seemingly needing him to be the "provider".
• A woman with the skills of a slutty pornstar, but the purity of a virgin.
• A woman to be a home maker and career-minded.
• A woman to basically be superwoman with the kids, work, and home, all the while still have enough energy to fuck their brains out.

Woman may want an all in one man, but at least we are up front about it, and don't hide behind the stereotypes. If you want a down ass chick that's a superwoman, be straight up, and if you want that, but aren't ready to handle that, don't be surprised when she leaves your ass for her superman ;-)

I was kicking it with your boyfriend....

That doesn't mean that I was sleeping with him, it means I was chilling, probably watching movies,playing video games or something of that nature. Honestly if I am kicking it with a man, he has been my friend longer than he has been your man, so instead of trying to get rid of me, you need to be getting brownie points you dumb broad. I'm so sick of fake bitches coming at me like they are my best friend or like i'm the competition or something WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. The only "friend" that i've had that I slept with we weren't friends we dated and he passed away so i don't see that happening again anytime soon so back the fuck off. If you think males and females can't be platonic friends, you are just plain ignorant. you are putting to many expectations on that friendship if you enter into it with hopes of it becoming more. You are supposed to enter it with the hopes of becoming close friends that are there for each other.

When females act all crazy because their boyfriend has female friends it makes me wonder. Don't you have male friends? so why are you tripping unless you are doing dirt with those male friends? so instead of thinking its something wrong with the man and the relationships he has, look at yourself and what you doing.

That is all i have to say on the subject. Get it together folks.

How To Fail Smooth 101...

Him: What up?
Me: not much...chillin...trying to figure out what i'm gonna do tonight
Him: I know what u can do...you can have me over and share a beautiful night of makin' out and cuddlin' its perfect weather for that :)
Me: ummm...
Him: I thought is was a no brainer myself
Me: definitely not a no brainer...
Me: i take that back it is a no brainer...not gonna happen
Him: What would you call it then so I can proper assess the dilemma if there is such a thing
Him: I see...well what can we do to make it happen...because we don't really know if its special if we don't make an effort...I'm sure both representatives didn't make enough of an impression to say something so...harshly skepticle
Me: we are not going to do anything to make it happen...because it won't...as i told you before i'm not interested in you like that...and if you can't deal with that we don't need to talk anymore...
Him: Well since you are determine in your stance about being "not interested" then there is no reason for me to burden you with my natural attraction towards you...I wish you all the best my dear...sincerely

Embarrassment to the highest degree. Please gentlemen don't be a grown man single and trying to spit game like this at young girls. This isn't even game its just lame. Ladies if you are stupid enough to play into it, I have no sympathy for you.
Fellas step your game up
Ladies get your stacks up

I AM WOMAN...

I am complicated in logic
I am simple in emotion
I am Beautiful in heart
I am Sexy in skin
I am Powerful in soul

Booty Call Status

Just in case a cuddle isn't what you are looking for, and just straight up booty action is all you want to keep you warm this cuddle season; Here is a booty call application to filter through those who may or may not be worthy of your booty.


Name_____________________

Contact number for follow interview(____)_______

Occupation________________________________

Height_____ Weight______

Gender(M/F)___

Married(Y/N)__ Single(Y/N)__ Other_________

How often (check appropriate answer)

Daily__ Weekly__ Monthly__ As much as possible__

How long can u last (check appropriate answer)

1min __ 15min__ 30min__ 1hr__ All nite__

Do u like giving oral sex(Y/N)__

Which do u prefer (check appropriate box)

One on one__ Doubles__ Group__

While having sex, what do u do (check all appropriate answers)

Faint__ Cry__ Moan__ Wiggle__ Twist__ Jerk about__ Pant__ Sweat__ Scream__ Hum__ Whistle__ Just lie there__ Go to sleep__ Watch tv__ Read__ Think of someone else__ ?

List three positions u like:

1._____________________

2._____________________

3._____________________

What is ur preferred pace (check appropriate answer)

Slow__ Fast__ Very fast__ Rigorous__

When is the best time to reach u (check appropriate answer)

Morning__ Afternoon__ Nite__

How late can u stay out (check appropriate answer)

11-12am__ 1-2am__ all nite__

Any talent or skills(Y/N) if so, list



Applicant? signature________________________________ Date__________________

Cuddle Buddy Application (Post Number *100*)

Soooo its that time of season where the weather gets chilly, the rain starts falling and all you want to do is be in the bed all day with another warm body. With slight similarities to the BoyFriend Application this has a different end. Cuddle buddy is for the single person and the position unlike boyfriend is temporary. The application process can help you weed out the ones that may end up being clingy, needy or just all around not suited for cuddle buddy material.

GET TO KNOW YOU

1)Full Name __________________

2)Nickname(s)______________________________

3)Age___

4)Height____

5)Race/Ethnicity_______________

6)Birthday___/___/____

7)Astrological sign________


GET TO KNOW YOU PHYSICALLY

1) Height: ________

2) Weight:________

3) Body shape: (  ) Muscular (  ) Slim (  ) Average (  ) Chubby (  ) Teddy Bear Status

4) Arm Length: _______

5) Hand Size: (  ) Small (  ) Medium (  ) Large (  ) Extra Large

6) *Be Honest* Penis Size: ______

7) Do you have dimples? ______

8) Is your smile pretty? ______

    8a) Witness: ___________________ (PRINT) ____________________ (SIGNATURE)

    8b) Witness Contant info: _______________

EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT STATUS (Answer honestly cause i'll know if you're lying)

1) Longest Relationship: ___________

2) Shortest Relationship: ___________

4) Time elapsed since last relationship: _____________

5) Reason for no longer being together: __________________________________________________

6) Have you had a cutty/cuddle buddy before: _________

7) If ended, reason why: _____________________________________________________________

REFERENCES (provide up to 3)

1) Name:____________
    Relation to you: ____________
    How long have you known this person:____________
    Contact Info: phone or email _______________________

2) Name:____________
    Relation to you: ____________
    How long have you known this person:____________
    Contact Info: phone or email _______________________


3) Name:____________
    Relation to you: ____________
    How long have you known this person:____________
    Contact Info: phone or email _______________________

My Eye Candy

OH FUCK IT!!!

I just need to get laid. I am gonna put it out into the universe, because i need some good sexy time JuJu to be sent my way. I need a man that can just lay the pipe in a way that will have me off my horn dog streak I am riding, because i haven't had amazing sex in quite some time. sorry for the TMI entry, but I needs it. *THAT IS ALL*

How to tell if you're ratchet...

You Might Be Ratchet if: you are yelling in public places for no other reason than to make a scene.
You Might Be Ratchet if: you have more baby daddy's than you do kids.
You Might Be Ratchet if: you get bamboo hoop earrings from the beauty supply store
You Might Be Ratchet if: your kids rock L.A. Gear and you wearing the latest Jordans
You Might Be Ratchet if: you go to work, high and/or drunk
You Might Be Ratchet if: you have a twitter page devoted to your boobs and/or butt
You Might Be Ratchet if: all you ever talk about is smoking and fucking
You Might Be Ratchet if: all your friends say they can't fuck with your functions anymore because they are "too much" for them
You Might Be Ratchet if: you try to buy gas with an E.B.T. card
You Might Be Ratchet if: everyone at the county building knows you by name
You Might Be Ratchet if: you watch BET
You Might Be Ratchet if: you walk around Hollywood with no heels on before, during or after your night at the club

Just a few ways to tell but you get the idea...don't let ratchetness happen to you!!!

Sooo what are you sayin?

We are so programmed in this society to look at homosexuality as being taboo. Over the years as i matured, i have developed my own ideals about the LGBT community. I am very pro-lifestyle choices. if you are a chick that like chicks or a dude that wants to be a chick, its not affecting my life for you to live however you so choose. To put out in the universe what my preferences are, I would best identify with a heterosexual female, not to say that if a chick was hot enough and she was DTF i would turn her down. I say i best identify with that category because I don't date women, I won't marry a woman, but i would have sex with her, so I can't say i am a bi-sexual woman. I don't hit on women, and I don't like femme-types, I like my women on the studlier side. I can appreciate a woman's beauty through and through. So if you hate on, change your opinion, or judge me for that, we weren't meant to be in each other's lives. I am too open of a person and accepting of everyone to keep someone that narrow-minded in my life.

Joking...maybe...maybe not...

Sometimes flirting is all in good fun, joking around, laughing, smiling and all around being friendly. This however is not always the best way to show someone you are interested, because when you are trying to be serious you have no way of conveying true depth and genuine interest. The first impressions define the precedent for future encounters. So if all you do is joke with people in your attempt to flirt with them, how is a person grasp your true feelings no matter what you say or how you say it?
As complicated as I am, if you can make me laugh and smile I am like putty, it is that simple. If I am into you, there are no questions about that, so cheesy pick-up lines, over the top jokes, lame compliments are not necessary. They show the some of the worst parts of your personality up front; these being immaturity, insecurity, and lack of educational development. You may not have been taught any better, but there is a better way to approach females where you are not coming off as a complete tool. Although it may not seem like it because of the amount of up tight, self righteous females, but i swear there is a better way. Being polite and courteous will get a good woman. If she can't appreciate the respect you are showing her, why do you want a woman of less quality anyway?
The moral of the story being be aware of the impressions you leave on people and the right person for you will come into your world. Tricks and games are for the naive and foolish.

Break-Up to Make-Up

Drama is a big part of everyday day, no matter how big or small, it tends to get everyone. When it comes to relationships, and drama enters, some people feed off of it and think that it adds passion to a relationship, while others get frustrated by it and try to escape it.
People that feed off of drama tend to make scenes and argue a lot in public. They seem well-adjusted but constantly argue and get jealous of other interacting with their partner. They are never just happy and peaceful in their relationships, which is where break-up to make-up comes into play. They end their relationship at least twice a week just so they can make-up and act as though they are in a fresh relationship, only to have more drama ensue to cause another break-up fight.
Others, like myself, tend to shy away from people that like to cause drama and problems. If you are the jealous type, possessive, needy all mixed with hostile, that is a recipe for a typical break-up to make up person. In the instant that I figure out that you are that type, i end it, because it will never work. I don't like to argue but i will if the situation calls for it, and i refuse for that situation to occur everyday. If we break-up I tend not to make-up.

To Move or Not to Move?

Suga, my older boyfriend that i have dated on and off for about 6 years, finally broke up for good. We ended contact, which wasn't hard, because he's in New York these days, and i am in California. He calls me because "he needed to talk to someone he trusted" and I of course give in. so we talk for a few days and then nothing for a week. He decides its a good idea to fly to California and surprise me with chocolates, because he knows i hate getting flowers, and profess his love and undying devotion to the fact that he knows I am the one for him. Needless to say all I could think of to say was "WHAT!?!" then he proceeds to tell me that he is leaving for New York and wants me to be on the flight with him. Again I say "WHAT!?!". So my dilemma is processing what i should do. Do I stay here where my life and family are and possibly lose friendships that I have built up solidly over the last year and a half? or do I leave on a wild adventure and open a new chapter with a man I care about, but cold break-up with at anytime? so any outside opinions would be helpful in the deciding process. not telling me what to do, just telling me helpful things i may be overlooking in this decision. Please and thank you.

Stop Hatin' on a Brotha...Damn Girl...

I don't usually talk about celeb gossip, mainly because it seems stupid, but when i read an article about the hott Brian J. White getting married to a Latina girl and people sending hate-tweets to him, i nearly died. Are we for real Black women? Are you really hating on a black man for finding happiness? That my fellow sista's is what you are doing when you don't support everyone and their choices down the path of love. Strong Black women are proud of their heritage, proud of their community, and supportive of everyone. Strong Black women are educated (street smart & academic), caring, beautiful. Strong Black women know that love can be found in all shades, sizes and backgrounds. Strong Black women don't hate on other women, they help each other out. A weak woman brings others down, because of her problems and self pity. In my opinion, the main reason Black men date outside their race, is because as much as they may love black women, the quality in a majority of them has gone down hill. They are too busy being egotistical and proud in the wrong ways to be a quality woman to their man so they find it with other races. Men don't always see color they see beauty, they see personality, they see a lady. The number of times I have seen Black women, yelling, acting out, and being hostile in public is probably the reason why they are so bitter they can't find a good man. I'm sick to death of it and the women that act like that and say they deserve a good man are fooling themselves. Take an etiquette class and stop trying to catch a Black man.

Stop Playing...Where's the Rest of it?

I got a bone to pick with guys that have little penises, no pun intended. How do you fix your mouths to say you need a magnum when we both know you can't fill it out. Like how dare you ask me if I got the magnums when clearly you need a baby condom for your tiny dick. Like who are you trying to fool with this gold wrapper, i am the one you except to suck this thing and have it inside me, i can see that it's small.

*Personal Philosophy: If I can't hold the penis and still fit it in my mouth its too small for me to suck and i won't do it* 

Magnums are not magic, they don't instantly make your penis grow, so stop wasting my magnums and my time. Get a condom that fits, Lifestyles and Trojans work just fine. Please make sure if you get the flavored ones that its only for foreplay not intercourse, they weren't designed with penetration in mind.

Approachable?

I don't know if I should be flattered or slightly offended that a married couple would approach me and ask me to be apart of their threesome. I mean on the one hand, i would be totally down and I am flattered that they think I am hot. Then again on the other hand, kind of awkward to come into a relationship and openly be the other woman for both of them, while also taking into account that i could possibly look like I am just DTF (down to fuck). I would think nothing of it if this happened to me only once, but this has happened several different times mainly while I was at school in Hawaii, and a couple times when I was home in California. I've never accepted mainly because its awkward, and I would much rather not be in that whole mix if something were to happen out of the norm.

The Art of a Kiss

How or where rather, do people learn to kiss? This is a question that plagues me. I have made out with some guys recently that just did not know what they were doing. You see it in the movies that girls learn by experimenting with each other and guys learn from practicing on pillow, mirrors, anything that has a surface. When it comes to reality though, is this the way kids now a days learn. When it gets to adulthood does bad kissing just transfer from person to person, and nobody helps others to get better. Sloppy kisses are not cute, dry kisses are gross and bad breath is just a given no-no. There is a certain etiquette i feel is lacking with today's young adults or 20-somethings i should say.
*Sloppy-Joe*
This is the kissing that could possibly cause you to drown fatally in a pool of their saliva.This can also lead to a string of spit connecting the two of you, your nose and chin being covered in saliva, and difficulty breathing anything but their spit. As unattractive as this sounds it feels even worse. Very common in people with big lips who haven't learned control of how much they moisten them and people with small lips trying to overcompensate for their partner's bigger lips.

*Ashes to Ashes*
Dry lips are not fun. all it takes is a little carmex, chap stick, Vaseline, hell even a little olive oil would work in my eyes. Nothing kills the mood quicker than someone with dry lips trying to suck the moisture out of my face through kissing. Common among people who smoke and those who don't drink water. People with big lips have been known to not pay attention to the dryness because of the excessive amounts of chap stick they have to use. Those with smaller lips are more prone to it, because they forget about their lips and don't notice till they are kissing someone with moist and/or full lips.

*Ole' Onion Breath*
You would think people would be more aware of bad breath in general, but I can't tell you how many times I have been in the presence of someone that smokes a lot or drinks a lot and they have no consideration for the foulness that comes from their mouth. Brush your teeth, chew some gum, use a little mouthwash something. This can attack anyone at anytime, so try to keep mints, gum, or them cute little wisp things handy. Common in those who drink coffee, smoke, eat stinky foods (ie onions, garlic, foreign cheeses).

Kisses should be sweet, tender, and passionate, not abrasive and possibly offensive. learn the etiquette, get the technique down pact and use mints even if you just brushed your teeth. A little extra mint never hurt anyone.

Where ya head at?

We've all been there, that person that has decided that they are amazing in bed yet in every aspect of bedroom fun they fall short. (pun intended) when it comes to dick skills i can give a they need to try harder pass but when it comes to giving oral you better know what the hell you're doing. A woman's vagina is not the sphinx, you don't need a combination to get to the g-spot, you don't need the key to knock out the multiple O door.
Without a doubt unless this is the first time you have ever read my blog will you have read one of my stories about good cunnilingus I have received and maybe a few times when it wasn't so great. To say the least I am about to call some folk out who lack in their head skills.

• If you are going down on me and doing some half ass licking I will grab my phone and start texting.
• If you feel the need to bite my vagina like its a piece a steak i'm going to slap you, you want me to bite your dick then knock it off
• Just because you're a boy doesn't mean you can let your nails do whatever. Scratching my pussy is not okay
• My pussy is already wet, I don't need all your extra slobbery mess all down there. The only thing left on your face should be my juices.
• If you don't know what you doing don't act like you bout to "eat it up" when we both know you barely touched a pussy let alone been face to face with one

With all epic entries there comes a story. I was for the first time hooking up with a random while completely intoxicated, and I had previously been deprived of sex in all forms for the last month, so inhibitions!?! what are those? We start making out and it gets hot and heavy clothes are coming off and i go in for the feel up, and in the most awkward, unpleasant, almost rude way I look up at him and ask "where's the rest of it?". At this point ego is probably really bruised, so i try to smooth things over. *Personal Philosophy* I don't suck small penises, so he's not getting head from me. We continue to make out for some time then he moves down my body so i'm like okay lets hope the head game is right at least and maybe i'll consider penetration. he starts going at it and i'm at this point thinking about what shows i want to make sure i catch on TiVo when I get home. I try to reach for my phone, but can't. OH GOD i wish my desk was closer i already bruised his ego now its about to shatter. "Ugh get off me, i'm drunk but damn its supposed to be better" so he gathers his clothes and leaves my room super pissed off and probably embarrassed. I lock my door and go on back to sleep.

If you want to hear about a good experience I had with the head game check out Story Time.

People can we please step our head game up before we get embarrassed like this. I love good sex, and i can be your biggest advocate, but at the same time I will call you out on some whack sex game and not be nice about it. Get it together! *THAT IS ALL*