Who, What, Where, When Why?

Who ever said sex was over rated wasn't getting laid on the regular.
What is it about relationships that scare people?
Where is it written that you deserve head for being a lazy piece (goes for men and women)
When will people learn that sex fades but conversation is for life
Why does the heart what it can't have so many times.

Who is willing to go deeper for true love and not settling for your baby momma or baby daddy?
What is the best time to have sex? beause I feel like if we wait till the end of the day we both tired
Where are all the educated black folk? They need to be the ones having kids, not these ghetto hot messes
When did it become socially acceptable to have kids before you got married?
Why become obessed with the material? when you lose it you lose all the people looking at you for it

Who ever said they were ready a for soul shaking, body rocking orgasm doesn't know what that means.
What is the point of asking for a change from others when you won't change yourself for the better?
Where are your parenting skills coming from?
When was the last time you truly felt passion when sleeping with someone?
Why do so many people lie about their sex skills? people will find out and put you on blast...so cut it out

Sexy vs. Skanky (office edition)

Sexy: Pencil skirts that hug your butt
Skanky: Mini-skirts that show your butt when you bend over

Sexy: Fitted pant suit from Express
Skanky: A pant suit you borrowed from your one night stand.

Sexy: Wearing what you would wear to a picnic to casual friday
Skanky: Wearing what you going to the club in, so you don't have to go home, after casual friday.

Sexy: A fitted sweater with dress pants and boots
Skanky: A fitted dress that leaves nothing to the imagination

Sexy: A white button up with a colorful undershirt that matches a tie
Skanky: A white button up where you can see the color of the bra being worn

Sexy: Closed-toe heels with 3-4 inches of height
Skanky: Open-toe sandal heels with 6 inches of height

Sexy: Pantyhose/ Stockings
Skanky: Fishnets

Sexy: Going to a bar or restaurant to close a deal
Skanky: Going to a strip club to close the deal

Sexy: being confident that your hard work will get you the promotion
Skanky: being confident your sex appeal and flirting with your boss will get you the promotion

Sexy: Being polite and showing the new person around the office
Skanky: Hooking up with the new person because they don't know your reputation.

Sex you want but don't talk about

For fear of sounding wierd or for fear of rejection, people are limited in their sexual experience because of what they want to bring to the bedroom. What I want to talk about in this entry are a few things for people to spice things up and step outside this box of inhibitions. Maybe you've done it, maybe you haven't, but either way it might spark something for you to try again or try for the first time.

Web Cam Sex- I'm not talking about anything super kinky, unless you're into that sort of thing, then by all means go ahead. I'm talking about a sexy strip tease for your partner or even a full on masturbation show. It really just depends on your comfort level. There are however a few guidelines you shold follow to enable an enjoyable experience for the both of you.

1. Make sure al lthe techy boring stuff is taken care of before hand nothing kills the mood more than a slow internet connection
2. Exaggerate the slowness of your movement or your partner may miss something you do
3. Anything you need must be within arms reach. (ie toys, lube etc.)
4. Make sure you position the camera so you are never out of frame. (there's no point if they can't see you)

Threesome- It may sound kinky, sexy and spontaneous, but the best threesomes are done with some one you know pretty well. Picking up a stranger is advice they give in movies and tv shows which isn't wise. Just a few rules that are set to ensure your successful Menge a trois.

1. Your third person should be someone that trust so as not to ruin the friendship later
2. Keep the lines of communication open. (Are you and/or your partner bi-comfortable? talk about it)
3. Set up guidelines so nobody does anything someone else doesn't like. (There will be resentment later)

Vouyerism- As far as your individual person goes, it can be looked at from either side. The most common would be you and your partner being watched, but to take it one step further, you or your partner watching the other with someone else. The adrenaline you get from not being in control amps up the orgasm you feel when you release.

Anal Play- For this you really need to be open in your sexuality. I know its a sensitive topic, but someone's gotta talk about it. with this type of sex play, it can be for both men and woman. The back door for a man can be pleasing if the right area is stimulated, the same goes for a woman. But there are a few rules to keep in mind before pursing this route

1. Don't do it unless you have permisson from your partner
2. Be hygienic. wash yourself of any feces so as not to smell and/or be offensive to your parner.
3. Be gentle and use enough lubrication.
4. The partner being penetrated should push back on the penetrator.
5. Relax, but stop immediately if there is pain, strong discomfort ot bleeding.

These are just a few things to get you thinking about different ways to spice things up. Talk to your partner about what you are comfortable with and how open you are willing to be with them sexually. The only thing ever lost is if you never ask.

Decoding the lies

Do you hear some these on the regular? If you do, you may be getting lied to. So next time you hear it say "why you lying?"

Men- "I'm scared to love because I was hurt before"
       -I want to see how much ass I can get from you before you wise up and leave me
Women- "We used to date, but he's just my friend now"
       -If you can't put the dick down this dude will be there to handle it.
Men- "I thought you trusted me"
       -I'm going to cheat on you, i just don't want you going through my phone to figure it out
Women-"I don't usually do this"
      -I don't want you to think i'm a hoe after this
Men- "Your friend is just mad at what we have"
      -I tried to fuck her, but she turned me down
Women- "Yes this is my hair"
      -I paid for it so it's mine
Men- "I wasn't looking at her booty"
      -I was i just didn't think you could see me do it
Women- "You're the father of litte Ja'kwame"
      -You may not be but you make the most money so i'm telling you its you
Men- "I don't like the way condoms feel"
      -I'm broke so i can't go buy some condoms. I just want to fuck and leave.
Women- "I don't do that"
      -I do, i just don't like you enough to do it for you
Men- "I just want you to be happy even if its not with me"
      -I want you to be happy only if its with me. I want you to think i'm sweet and sincere to get you back.
Women- "I've only slept with 3 guys"
      -Its way more than that, I just don't want you to call me a hoe
Men- "Let me call you right back"
      -I'm either just trying to get off the phone to holla at "shawty" or i'll forget to call back when i'm not busy
Women- "I would love a man for his heart not his money"
      -I don't want people to think i'm shallow but i really couldn't be with a broke man
Men- "Baby, i've been applying a lot of places, but nobody wants to hire me"
      -I'm telling you this so I can get some pussy tonight, and so you keep supporting my lazy.
Women- "I don't need a man for anything..."
      -He fucked my best friend and now i'm gonna be bitter and alone so I don't have to get hurt again
Men- "I Love You"
      -Either they mean it or it means I want some pussy
Women- "It's not going to cost much"
      -I don't want to tell you how much it's really going to cost because you'll be mad

More to come later

Ménage à trois

Usually this will intrigue men before it intrigues women, because woman are so programmed to think your man isn't satisfied with you so he's trying to find another option. I'm not saying it's not on his mind, but hello guys like sex, two hot females wanting to please him, not that he's not happy with you, but double the pleasure double the fun. To put it simply, if you could have two people pleasing you, would you want to try it. Women get so hung up on what it means and trying to analyze things, when its simple. So aside from that, the biggest question that plagued me was why are men so open to the idea of a Menage a trois, and why do women fear it? In my opinion, women are taught that if a man wants a threesome something has to be wrong with her, something he's looking for that she isn't giving him. Men on the other hand are encouraged to be adventerous, and try as much as possible, and have to try and in a sense trick his current lover/partner to be as adventerous.
So I took to my friends and asked them their thoughts on threesomes. To say the least most of them had fantasized about it, but never thought it would actually become a reality. The guys were all very against it being two guys one girl, and almost all the girls were into the idea of a "lesbianic" experience. The guys were into the idea of a girl kissing another girl, they even encouraged it. Yet when it came to the guys doing the same it was an astounding "naw man that shit is gay". So aside from the obvious double standard, which i won't get into this entry, everyone said that they wouldn't want to do it if they were in a relationship with one of the people. Another reason of why it wouldn't happen, was because they felt like it would be more fun to fantasize about it than to actually do it. ( It looks good in the movies, but don't most things look better there than in real life). And others just didn't think they were wild enough to ever actually go thru with it. On a side note I love how diverse my friends are in their views so I get a nice broad range of possible responses. So all in all I took in what they had to say, but my ideas are my own when it comes to sex especially threesomes. It breaks down to this, Would I? yes no question, but i'm a freak so what do you expect With who? either 2 guys or two girls i'm not afraid of a little girl on girl Have I? wouldn't you like to know.

It has come to my attention that I don't really talk that much about safe sex and what it can do for you in the long run. Please believe, when contemplating a threesome, you have twice as much risk as having just one partner. Ladies if you engage in threesomes with two men, please be on birth control and be using condoms. There is twice the risk of STDs and Pregnancies. There are enough babies being born to young mothers, no need for an accident that you can't support cause mommy and daddy got a little freaky.

Flirtexting: when is it to far?

Knowing the boundaries of flirtexting can in an instant make you seem like your intentions are more along the lines of one-night stand material and less like take you home to mom. Of course this is depending on what your actual intentions may be. When it comes to flirtexting i keep my rules simple, and there are only 5:

1. If you don't mean it sexually read it out loud before you send it.
2. If you would be embarrassed by your parents seeing it re-word it
3. If you wouldn't say it in person don't say it in text
4. There is a thin line between sexy and slutty with the words you say in a text so be careful
5. Naked pictures are never acceptable when flirting

For me these rules keep the texting in a safe zone so as not to welcome unwanted advances. No offense to any men that read my blog, but when it comes to sex men are simple you either want to or you don't. So it is up to women to not send the wrong signals, because it may seem harmless or unintentional, but anytime you bring up nakedness or being wet guys are going to think you want to fuck. There's no if, ands, or buts about that. Just a few helpful examples on toning down the slutty and taking it to flirty:

• Slutty: I'm taking a bubble bath getting all soaking dripping wet, wanting your body so bad.
• Flirty: I'm just chillin at home thinking about how great of a time I had with you the other day.
• Slutty: I loved the shirt you had on the other day, but it would look better on my bedroom floor
• Flirty:Where did you get that shirt, it's amazing and you wore it well.

Simple things like this can take a conversation from sexual to innocent, if you focus on the right thing. You full on may feel differently but thinking it and saying it to the person can determine where they categorize you, as in "jump-off", wifey, or just one of the guys. If you are not interested in just flirting, check out my previous entry on Phone Sex, because that's a whole different ball game. It's really easy to confuse the two when you are really excited about someone new in your life. If it helps at all think about what you want to say before you say it, as in send it to a friend, ask your roommate, anybody who is around you, to see how it could be taken. For me I write it and i text it to my best friend, if he says it sounds slutty I change it depending on if I want to sound slutty or not ;-)

Boyfriend Application

Recently since I decided to take myself off the market, because guys are just acting "Brand New" now-a-days. Having done a lot of interviews this week for work, combined with one of my friends bringing this topic to my attention, I got to thinking. What if we had resumes for relationships? What would you want to know up front so as not to waste time? so I came up with a series of questions I would want to know the answer to before i potentially wasted my time getting to know somebody that wasn't boyfriend material. Thus my boyfriend application was born. I'm feeling like you should also have to bring in references of people that know the good and bad about you, three at most. All jokes aside, here it is:


Get to know you.

1)Full Name __________________

2)Nickname(s)______________________________

3)Age___

4)Height____

5)Race/Ethnicity_______________

6)Birthday___/___/____

7)Astrological sign________

8)Do you follow Astrology?

9)Do you have siblings?Brothers___ Sisters___

10)Are your parents still apart of your life?


Get to know your situation.

1) Did you go to college? if yes where and what did you study?

2) Do you have a job?

3) Do you have a car?

4) Do you live at home with your parents? if no do you have roommates or are you by yourself?

5) Do you have any children? (yes one on the way counts)

6) Do you play any sports?


Get to know you at random.

1) Do you hang out with a bunch of girls or a bunch guys?

2) What sports do you watch? if none please stop and do not continue.

3) Would you rather go out on the town or stay inside and watch TV?

4) Who do you look up to most?

5) What kind of movies do you like?

6) When faced with a problem do you whine or just handle it?

7) Are you stupid? (NO JOKE, Do you use common sense)

8) What is a typical Friday or Saturday night like?

9) What phone carrier do you have?

10) Can you cook? (I don't mean top ramen or easy mac.)


Get to know what you're looking for. (BE HONEST)

1) Are you looking for long term or short term ?

2) Are you looking to just get laid or for a commitment?

3) Physically:
a)Height____
b)Weight____
c)Hair preference? (ie. long, short, curly, straight, color etc.)
d)Boob size_____
e)Waist____
f)Hips____

4) What's a deal breaker? (ie. physically, mentally, emotionally)

5) Make-up or no make-up?

6) Girlie girl or one of the guys? explain your answer.

Essay/Short Answer

Describe to me why you should be my boyfriend?

What is the biggest goal you have in life as of yet?

Why did your last relationship not work out?

Feel free to fill this out and return within 5-7 business days, just joking. Of course this is stuff I would want to know questions can vary so much from person to person, and could be completely sexually based or completely intellectually based.

Fucking vs. Loving

Fucking: Anytime, anywhere, down for anything
Loving: At night after a romantic dinner and stroll on the beach

Fucking: In the back seat of your car in a fast food parking lot
Loving: At the cabin by the lake where you would go for summer vacation when you were younger

Fucking: The two of you in someone else's pool skinny dipping
Loving: In your jacuzzi after a long day at work

Fucking: What single people do
Loving: What married people do

Fucking: Threesomes are an option for fun to be had
Loving: Threesomes are a way to get different sex

Fucking: One night stands
Loving: Same person every night

Fucking: Condoms, birth control, and worry about pregnancy
Loving: hoping to have a baby

Fucking: A new adventure everytime
Loving: The same adventure on repeat

Fucking: Gives you oral everytime
Loving: Gives you oral on your birthday.

Fucking: Is selfish, get yours and get out
Loving: Is generous, worries about their partner getting theirs

Fucking: Hit and miss on quality
Loving: You already know what you're getting

Last one so I should probably make it crazy good...lol
Fucking: Will have you calling in sick for a couple days cause you can't walk right, and you're just a little too tired to do anything important
Loving: Will have you knocked out and get a good night sleep, refreshed to start the next morning with a healthy breakfast.

Hoe This...Hoe That...Part Deux

Is there a limit that on the number of past sexual partners your current mate has had? I was recently reading about this on twitter, where a few of my friends were going back and forth in debate that only a woman should be limited in the number of past sexual partners she can have. As I was reading this it got me thinking, because a lot of what they were talking about was brought up in my post "Hoe This...Hoe That...". Many of the women that commented in this debate said that there was an unfair double standard, because "men can be hoes too". A few of them agreed with the men because "women look down on other women who have had a lot of partners". Quite a few of my friends believed that if they were to limit someone, they feel it would be okay to be limited, which I respect a great deal. Some which I highly favor, said "it's the past I can't control what she did before me", "the past is the past, and as long as he doesn't bring diseases with him to the present then i have no problems", "no because that would eliminate more than half the male population". To me no matter how educated you are, if you find someone with a tainted past, its the past, that shouldn't negate the fact that they make you happy and have potential to be the greatest love of your life. I really feel you should look at the motives behind why they may have so many sexual partners. Yes there can be the fact they have "hoe-tendencies", but is it that they are a hoe, or have a uninhibited sexual appetite? Hoes will smash the homies, sexual people enjoy every aspect of sex, from the passion and lust to sensuality and tenderness. Some men will sleep with you, your roommate, your sister and your best friend without a second glance. Other men will look for a deeper connection to associate the passion they have have for and with you, which you probably don't share with those people. Some women feel the same way. Take me for example, I don't sleep with every guy that hits on me, its not my style, but I still get good sex on the regular and I have more partners than the average, does that make me a hoe? Most people would say yes, many others would say no, and guaranteed the ones that say yes are men, because of the way they are programmed to think. Brought about because of society, women with multiple partners, are tainted, but men with multiple partners are praised for their experience. A lot of women that fuck to get them something or somewhere in life, will fuck your best friend and your cousin, and have no self-respect these are the hoes you can't turn into housewives, because if someone comes around with a bigger bank account or a bigger dick they will be out the door. So many people are so narrow minded that they can't help but think and believe what the societal norm is. You have to look outside that people. Open your eyes, develop your own thought and stop perpetuating these double standards.

Hoe This....Hoe That...

Why is it a problem, that I don't have a boyfriend anymore, but have sex on the regular? Society has put so much negativity on women having sex out of marriage or a relationship, that most girls I know don't like to talk about it for fear of being called a slut or hoe. Yet on the other hand, its perfectly okay that young men "take down" as many females as they can. Guys almost get rewarded for their "sex game" being experienced.
I feel like i'm a catch. I am educated, with a degree in Corporate Communications, I cook, clean, and take care of my business. I work, still in school to further my education, I drive, and i'm saving up to buy my own house. So my biggest question is what's the problem? and don't give me some half-ass answer that guys are intimidated by me, because I think that's a lazy lame excuse for anyone to have on themselves.
It's almost as though I need to be a virgin for guys to think i'm wifey material. While guys get more and more praise for how many conquests he has in his youth before he settles down. It reminds me a lot of the show "Sex and the City". Samantha is constantly be looked down on by her neighbors, co-workers, and on occasion her friends. They end up coming across a man, that is just as known for his promiscuity, yet it's okay with everyone, because "its what men do".
If you've seen the show, I wouldn't call myself a "Samantha", but I do enjoy my regular sexcapades. does my promiscuity negate my "wife qualities"? I feel I shouldn't have to give up my desire for great sex, because of what someone else may think, or what society has programmed him to think. I don't know what else I want to say about this, it's just not fair I guess. Slowly but surely i hope this double standard gets changed, but you never know what can happen.

Down Low Brothas and the Sistahs that help them

There are an alarming number of young black men that feel that they have to hide their sexual orientation for fear of rejection by friends and family. In this day and age, many gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender people fear for their lives like many black people did during the Civil Rights times. To be perfectly clear, I have a strong disbelief that they are in the same category of hatred. Yes it’s up there with it, but it’s still far from the same. However to discern the difference would bring up to much debate. I would be more than happy to talk about it on a side note, but it’s not the aim of this post. This topic hits close to home for me, because of family and close friends that live this lifestyle so I apologize if I seem a little stern and not so light hearted as usual.
There are many stories, of men being on the “down low” and leading heterosexual lifestyles. Many of the “down low” men have a wife and multiple kids, but still sneak around with men or transgender people. I have to imagine that when it does come out, it’s a big shock of betrayal and deception to another level because of the trust and sanctity of marriage in most cases. It’s one thing to hide the fact that you’re gay, but it is another to enter into something as sacred as marriage with the intent of lying and premeditated act of cheating and adultery. Don’t take this the wrong way, I have no problem with LGBT, I have a problem with the lying and deception some use to appease the bias and underdeveloped standards of “normal” society. I can’t respect someone that would intentionally lie to their loved ones to escape the ignorance of certain people.
And on a side note there are some women who even in the midst of knowing their man is on the “down low”, stick by their man for fear of being alone. No deceptive relationship is worth holding onto. There are literally billions of people in the world, you will find someone that is true to you and willing to be there for you 100%. If you’re gay be gay, don’t trick the people that care about you. It’s not fair to anybody. I threw that link in for your entertainment.

I'm gonna leave this post fairly open-ended for the simple fact that this is something that can't be fixed with one voice, and one opinion, but as only a community can change.

Sexy vs. Skanky

Sexy: wearing a lacy slip under your dress to a nice dinner date with your man.

Skanky: Wearing the same lacy slip as your dress to a dinner date with your man.

Sexy: slow dancing with a guy at the club

Skanky: dry humping with a guy on the dance floor

Sexy: showing up to your boyfriends place wearing sexy lingerie under a trench coat.

Skanky: showing up at a guy you went on two dates place wearing nothing but the trench coat.

Sexy: Classic little black dress with heels

Skanky: A too little dress that doesn't cover your butt and clear heels

Sexy: watching your man play ball at the park

Skanky: flirting with your mans friends at the park

Sexy: Getting your hair and nails done.

Skanky: Getting your hair to match your nails.

Sexy: Playing hard to get with a guy you're interested in.

Skanky: Being a total bitch to the guy you're interested in.

Sexy: Meeting up with a new guy for a lunch date.

Skanky: Meeting up with a new guy so you can hook up.

Sexy: Passionate love

Skanky: Passionate lust

Sexy: cooking a romantic candlelit dinner

Skanky: ordering dinner and claiming you cooked it.

Sexy: sending sweet texts saying "I love you"

Skanky: sending pictures of your privates

Sexy: Mini vacation to Cancun

Skanky: Mini vacation to Cancun during spring break.

Where Are the Passionate People?

I'm going to start a roll call for all the men that love passionately, in and out of the bedroom.

-The men that can make your day special just having them smile at you.

-The men that work hard every day to make a better life for himself, his family, and community.

-The men who listen to you because you want to be heard.

-The men that don't settle for easy and work for the true treasures.

-The men that don't cheat, because they know the woman at home would be devastated if he did.

-The men that know how to treat a woman's needs in the bedroom, not focused on getting his nut, but so that she's satisfied as well.

-The men that hustle the blue and white collar world instead of the streets.

-The men that can cook too.

Because I'm not biased and I believe in the values as well, where are the passionate women?

-The women that have a full-time job to bring support to their man.

-The women who are strong enough to be with a man and not for a man.

-The women who allow their men to be men, and not nag them to death with petty nonsense.

-The women who hustle their mind and not their bodies.

-The women that don't settle for less because Mr. Right hasn't shown up yet.

-The women who aren't gold-digging hussies out to get a quick payoff so they don't have to work.

-The women who enrich lives of the people around them instead of being a negative role-model in their community.

-The women who make a house a home with their love and care.

I am looking to find real people that can showcase at least some of if not all of these qualities. It seems as though people now-a-days have no sense of what is healthy and civil for people to act when it comes to relationships and community. So many people pretend to portray these attributes and lead those who are true to them down a path of wasted time and deceitful intentions. Sex, love and relationships can bring about many wonderful experiences, but can also bring on pain worse than anything you could ever physically feel. Don't mind me and my ramblings; it's just something that's been on my mind. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

Phone Sex: Is it Taboo?

Phone sex started out as very taboo as most things do, and yet over time has evolved into something much bigger. Basic sexy phone conversations being something you do at night when you’re in the bed has evolved to talking dirty thru text messages any time of day. I have been in meetings, class, and in line at the bank having sex-text conversations. It’s convenient and very sexy especially when u get home to find your partner there and ready to go. Foreplay, with evolving technology is being taken to a different level. In this new age, with cell phones making people so available, it’s very easy for people to have less contact and still get just as much sex if not more to keep the intimacy alive in a relationship. There are so many options, with camera phones, text messages, verbal communication, and videos. It can go from cute little messages left for you all the way to sexy strip tease videos to show them what they will get later that night. But with all this digital intimacy, is the flair of actual bedroom pillow talk fading and becoming a thing of the past?
It has always been something that is just done and not talked about, making it taboo, but I’ve noticed with some of my friends and me especially, that we are becoming more open about it, because you can do it any time of day anywhere you get service.
As I was getting advice about this from my friends, we seemed to all say there can be many pros and cons. With phone sex, you can use your imagination and let it run wild. It can go from so sweet sincere and romantic to some of the raunchiest, kinky stuff you never thought you would do or say. It gives you the chance to let your inhibitions flow away and just be open. The biggest downfall is the lack of follow thru. You can say all these things, you can use your imagination, you can be wild, but if that’s not your personality, if that’s not how you feel or can physically let go in the bedroom, even all this digital foreplay, it can be anti-climactic, and in all honesty a let-down. I also noticed that in some cases it can begin to replace the intimacy, which when it does, you need to take a step back and re-examine the relationship. If you don’t have time for each other, why are you still together? You can only do so much phone sex, before it gets repetitive and predictable. If that’s all the intimacy you share people tend to wonder and be unfaithful. Phone sex should be something fun and exciting, a little different from the norm, not the routine.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE guys don’t let this be you
Girl: Baby I want to feel your long shaft slowly penetrating deep inside my pussy lips as I nibble on your ear lobe and feel your breathing and my breathing sync into one.
Guy: Yeah girl I want to fuck you hard.
THIS IS NOT OKAY WITH ANYONE. It will end the conversation really quick and you will feel very stupid once you decide to use your head and think about what you should have said. Take time and use your head, be creative and sexy. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Sex with the ex: The Relationship Saga Continues Pt. 2

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and re-visit a topic, sex with an ex. Last time we talked about this, it was a “good” story. We got to experience one of the good times when sex with an ex can be fun. Now let me tell you a little story about when it can turn sour and people can get hurt…BADLY.

I was dating this guy for about 6 months, and we were friends for two years before that. I actually had the biggest crush on him long before we started to be good friends, so from the jump I was more into him than he was to me. Looking at it from the outside, it was doomed to begin with. We were lovey dovey; we even got to the point where we said I love you. So it was hard for me to let go, when he said it was too much commitment. I mean he was the one that said I love you first. I was mad, upset, bitter, angry, sad, lonely, basically every sad emotion I could be when it came to no longer being with him. Once that subsided and I could be in the same room with him without crying or wanting to kick him in the nuts, we started to talk. We began to become friends again, and had laughs and good times together. Then the infamous KISS happened and all the emotions I ever felt for him good and bad came flowing back at once. I was happy, because I was naïve to the fact that he didn’t want to be with me again, he just wanted to get laid. I was hopelessly in love with this guy who didn’t understand the emotional state I was in with him. He gave me hope when there was none so I gave him pussy, because I thought at that time it would bring us closer. So I continually got wrapped into the physical, I was getting laid, he was getting laid, but my emotions for him were getting suppressed. One day it was too much for me to handle. I had reached my breaking point and when I reached max capacity for suppressed emotion, I went into a deep depression. I wasn’t going to class, I wasn’t eating, and I wasn’t hanging out with any of my friends. I laid in my bed crying for weeks because I let him break my heart twice. I gave him control with my heart but didn’t tell him he had it. He was playing the game without knowing the rules. It took me over a year to move on and get my relationships back to normality. Now I feel bad for the guys I dated right after him, because I gave them my bitterness and anger towards men, which isn’t fair to anyone.

This here is the bad, and when I say it can get even worse please stay tuned for the next installment when it gets ugly. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Get it, Get it now....

The average young adult in America has had sex. And how could they have not with the new norm of today’s society is that most young people, around the age of 14 and 15, are losing their virginities, because their friend did, that’s what they saw on TV, or their favorite music artist is talking about it, when not too long ago the norm was saving yourself for marriage. Even with all this change in society’s norms, there are a few people in college who still hold true and abstain from having pre-marital sex. A few of my friends in particular, have shared with me that when the topic turns to sex that sometimes they get uncomfortable, because they feel as though we are pressuring them into something without actually saying something. Most of them have said that the teasing gets old, but don’t want to give into this kind of peer pressure. Which is reasonable, who wants to say I lost my virginity because my friends wouldn’t stop teasing me? So few people realize the effect their words have on others, which leads to self-esteem issues and other problems.

So to continue, when I was talking to one of my guy friends about him still being a virgin, he said it was way harder in high school to be a virgin than in College, but life for him was improving as he got older. I think that is mostly due to him having found friends that are more mature, and don’t focus on getting laid as much as getting an education or at least don’t show it. He also said he wasn’t necessarily waiting for marriage, just for a girl that was good to him, and wouldn’t break his heart. (See ladies it goes both ways so don’t be so mean). My other friend said something similar, she was ready, but doesn’t want to feel like a piece of ass afterwards, which I totally get, nobody wants to feel like that. While at the same time, a lot of my guy friends say they don’t want to experience a virgin for the fear that they get attached as many first timers do, which is a topic for another day.

As you can tell I am very passionate when it comes to me having sex, I mean hello my whole blog, but it concerns me when my younger cousins who are 14, 16, and 18 are in the influential age group that are having sex. I’m more-so concerned for the young ones that are in high school, because high school students peer pressure about sex more than any other age group. I hope by the time you get to this point that you don’t think I’m condoning pre-marital sex in any shape form or fashion. If you are ready, go with your gut, and don’t let anyone influence you. To give my little two cents, as far as age goes, if you can’t support yourself at 15 you can’t support a baby, so you shouldn’t be doing anything you’re not prepared to deal with for the long run. It’s always okay to say no, and that goes for men and woman.

So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Sex with an ex....The relationship saga continues...

When it comes to sex with an ex, my theory is you can’t spell sex without an ex, so you might as well go with it for now. I feel like there should be certain rules you must follow, if you go there with an ex. Please keep in mind these are the reflections of my personal beliefs on what should be done. This has been compiled from a variety of sources mainly my friends.
1)Don’t go there if it was a bad break up. It is only going to make the more hurt party feel like there is hope when there is none. If u decide to do it anyway there is no way to avoid at least one person hurt more than they were before.
2)Don’t go there if neither of you have really had a chance to move on. Too soon after a break up can once again give hope to at least one or both parties. If you have had the chance to move on and you are both comfortable with each other and there is no bad blood between you go for it if it feels right.
3)Don’t go there if either of you have a current significant other. That’s just asking for trouble.
4)Don’t go there if the sex was never great in the first place. If it wasn’t great why go back to it and bring up other emotions and feelings.
5)Don’t hook up with an ex when you’re intoxicated. It leads to absolutely nothing but regrets in the morning, and possibly even more hurt feelings.
As you can tell there are a lot of don’t in my book when it comes to this topic. This is because I have had many a friend and many an experience where it can go badly. But it’s my favorite time STORY TIME!!!
I have to say one of the funniest times where sex with an ex is involved, is when I was dating this guy for about 3 months or so, and we just weren’t sparking. The physical attraction was there, just no real emotional connection. We decided we would be better suited at being friends instead of bf/gf. (As you notice nice clean break up) a few weeks past, I haven’t been laid in a while, so I’m starting to feel a little bit of pleasure withdrawal if you will. Now mind you my ex and I are still good friends, so I know he’s not dating anyone yet. So he comes over to my apartment, and we are watching a movie on my computer. I feel that it is a universal thing that if you invite someone over to “watch a movie” it means I want to get busy. With the luck that I have, my ex is the only person in the world that doesn’t get this, so we literally watch a movie. On a scale of 1-disappointed, I was pretty freaking disappointed. So clearly with him a subtle hint is not going to work. So I wait about a week to invite him over to my place, and since subtle hints don’t work, I opened the door with black lacy boy shorts and matching bra on along with a red corset because that was his favorite color. He was completely floored and rushed in and ravished my body right there on my kitchen counter. We eventually made it to the bedroom, and it had to be some of the best no strings attached sex I have ever had. Sex with your ex is supposed to be no strings attached, but more often than not, there’s going to be strings because there is a brief or long history. It all comes down to the couple’s dynamic. This was an example of the good....The bad and the ugly to follow...

Age: Is it really just a number?

As you may know from looking at my profile, you will see that I am 21 years of age. Since I started dating at the young age of 14, I have dated from 15-46. Don’t look at the screen all crazy I was of legal age when I dated someone 46yrs old; I was 19 to be exact. But with that said, if you are emotionally invested in a relationship, does age really matter? Now mind you when I was 19 I wasn’t interested in a man that was 46 for his good looks and star appeal, he bought me nice things and treated me well. I never once asked for a thing from him, he just happened to always know what I wanted and when I wanted it. Some people would say I was a gold digger or his sugar baby, but I feel like he was just a nice man that treated me well and looked out for me. I never once slept with him, though I’m sure he would not have turned me down, our relationship was never physical. I had some of the best dates I ever experienced with him. He took me to nice restaurants to wine and dine me, he took me on cruises to get away from the stress of my college life, and he bought me all the latest fashions to keep my girlfriends jealous. He is what every woman dreams of as a little girl, that they hope to find when they get older. The only problem was that I wasn’t grown up yet and he already lived the life I dreamed of having. It was fun while it lasted, but it wasn’t meant to be from the jump. He wanted an arm piece and I wanted to have fun and not get hurt like so many men before him had done to me.

So to get back to what my original question, is age really just a number? In my experiences it has been. If you know someone that has had a difference experience, let me know. Every man that I have dated, slept with, or known personally has never acted their age. I have grown up with some fellas that as we age forward their maturity grows backward. So until some man changes my mind, I will always believe that no matter how far in age you are from a man, it doesn’t really matter, because he doesn’t act his age anyway. I’m guessing that it never really changes, you just need to find someone that is at your same age level.

A Man in Uniform...

What is it about a man in uniform that is just so appealing? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but as I was standing in line at a local Starbucks, I found myself strongly attracted to the police officer standing in front of me. Now mind you had he been in “civilian” clothes, I probably would not have given him a second look, but the gun he had and the strong presence he brought by just standing there got me thinking dirty thoughts. All I can is that I wanted to jump the bones of the hot police officer right then and there in the middle of Starbucks with no inhibition in sight. Well some in sight, because let’s be realistic it’s a police officer in a Starbucks, let’s not get too crazy.

I have noticed that this has happened on more than one occasion with me, where there has been a decent looking guy, but put him in a police uniform, paramedic uniform, fire fighter uniform, well you get the point, and it makes him like 4 times hotter than he is. I know with the uniforms I listed before there may have been a recurring theme of men that saves lives. It’s not the case, I promise you, because I like the UPS guys to, but I think that may be the shorts they wear. I hope this attraction to men in uniforms subsides soon, because I can’t go around getting wet every time I see a hot man in uniform. That would be all bad. So what I have decided is that I will make my list and maybe check it twice of all the men, and what uniform they have that I wish to sleep with. I have police officer, marine, navy man, and army man under my belt. What other ones shall I conquer? And who will be next? I got a feeling it will be this hot paramedic that lives down the street from me, we recently met and I think I kind of like him. Oh the adventures of my life, where will you take me next???
So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Story Time...

So there is this guy i know...(don't the best stories start out like that), but anyway there is this guy i know, I've know him for about 8 years now. He was Mr. Big Man on Campus in high school. The ladies loved him, the fellas wanted to be him, he had it all, and from what i know till this day still does. I was like many of those girls in high school fawning all over him, wanting to grab his attention, wanting to make him notice me. I gave up on the dream of making him my bf, and we grew to become good friends. It was only recently, that i found out that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him in high school. The only qualms I had were the fact that he had a girlfriend he basically called his wife. I'm not going to sit here and lie and say i didn't flirt with him anyway, he approached me, i had backed off. We would have the occasional flirty text going back and forth, and by flirty i totally mean hardcore sex text, but i tried to make it sound better. And then it would be that time of year when college students would go home for an extended period of time, and the texting would get more serious, like when am i going to see you when you get back? I really want to see you, can we make that happen? As intrigued as i am, I truly just can't bring myself to do it.
My friends and i love to go out to bars/clubs, so I know quite a few party promoters and a club owners. So an "ex" of mine who happens to be best friends of the above mentioned guy, decides it would be a good idea to invite me and my home girl to an event where he just happened to forget to mention "Mr. Big Man on Campus" would be. So needless to say I ran into him. Me being the smart lady that i am was totally prepared for anything. When he decided to walk up behind me, and grab my ass, i grabbed the nearest guy and full on made out with him. He was a pretty jealous and walked away. He comes up to me later mad at me like he has claim on me, hello you have a "wifey" why don't you go hang out with her and let me live my life. So I go on about my evening, and low and behold who's tap tap tapping on my shoulder, "Mr. Big", i'll shorten it and have it sound sex and the city, and now he wants to approach me in a manner a little more respectful. So he buys me any my friend a shot, and buys me a couple more shots *wink wink* so i'm feeling the music i'm feeling him. My friend, who i love to death, is the biggest cock block ever. She decides she's hungry and wants to leave a little early to go to Denny's. If only i drove, I wouldn't have left so early with this chick. But I digress, we go to Denny's and get there before the big rush of people. As we are leaving I get a text saying "U left already i wanted to hang out w/u after the club", mind you it's like 2:30 in the morning, there is nothing on his mind but one thing. So I tell him for tonight, and tonight only, I will hit you up when i get back home, and you can call me when you get to this side of town and you can come through.
He comes over, and we make out way to my room and mind you I have wanted this since high school, so has he, we are fooling around making out and he does something, that makes me let all my thoughts about what's wrong with this go. Please keep in mind i'm not a petite woman, i got some meat on my bones and then some. He picks me up throws me on the bed and eats my pussy like it's his last meal. I came once he kept going, I came twice he kept going, I cam three times....you get the idea. I lost count after a while to say the least it was the BEST oral I have ever had. I couldn't get up or even function properly. It was amazing!!!
It my turn to do my sexy thang, and i'm all into it, and here we are two sexy people, and he can't get hard from me sucking his dick. To add to that he says I was just so anxious and this actually happens with my girl. Why would you tell compare the girl you're cheating with to your girl. I'm not her for a reason, i have some thangs she doesn't she has some things i don't that's why we're here. I'm upset, but i try not to let it show, so we sit there talking for a while. It ends up being great conversation because we haven't talked in a while, like seriously talked not just sex texting. I realized why I liked him so many years ago, and I think I got a little attached. When I realized that, I know it was time to stop talking. I can't catch feelings for him, he has a wifey, and all the feelings of guilt that went out the window just flew back in. I feel horrible, and just want to get away, but then he starts kissing me again so I stop him. He starts to caress my thigh and slowly kiss my neck, I can't help but melt. When he nibbles on my ear lobe i get a shiver down my spine, a tingling sensation. Slowly but surely making his way to my lips. He tastes so sweet i want him so bad at this point, so i flip it. I lay him on the bed and slowly kiss down his well built abs and at this point he's already at full salute. I slowly start sucking the shaft, playing with the balls and all. He starts moaning letting me know it's good to him. When he finally cums, I keep going like he did to me. I slurp it up and make him hard again. I know its so sensitive, and then he starts shaking. He just stayed there for a bit not moving, but breathing heavily. I got mine and he got his.
We are still friends, we don't mess around anymore, which is good and now that this pent up lust is out of our system, we can be real friends(in a way). Learn from my mistake people, it will come back to you trust me. I would never want to be cheated on, and I let someone else use me as a pawn in their dirty dealings. It's not right, and I wish I could take it back, but I can't all i can do is tell the story of passion that brings a moral dilemma to light. Do as I say and not as I do. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night