Turn me on

• Grab me when i'm walking away and give me a kiss
• hold my neck when we are kissing
• smack my booty (softly) to let me know you are feeling frisky
• debate with me about politics, religion, and anything taboo
• tell me "no" at the right time
• walk up behind me and kiss my neck
• send edible arrangements to my job
• introduce me to your friends, don't just talk about me to them
• text me that you are thinking about me (occasionally, the less often the sweeter it is, because its like a treat)
• when making out, grab the back of my neck to hold me
• Look me in the eyes when you want to kiss me

The next person to say

• I act like a nigga, is gonna get karate chopped in the throat
• I have sex like a dude (all unattached) is gonna get drop kicked
• I'm mean when i'm just being honest is gonna get their eyeball flicked
• I got a phat ass like I don't put clothes over it everyday and already know that is gonna get judo chopped
• My titties are like two honeydews is gonna get flipped over
• how did you sleep is gonna get put to sleep
• Are you mixed with white because i'm light skinned is gonna get left standing there alone
• my name without the last a (cami) is gonna be slapped

That is all I have to say!

Dear him,

Cater/Pamper me like a Queen
Fuck me like a Concubine/Mistress
Love me like we were 100 years old
Be there like I know you know how to be.

Love Me :)

What are you more afraid of...

That he won't wait for you or that he will?

I was watching Castle the other day and this is what Beckett's therapist said to her, and it didn't really sink in until my favorite person said it to me almost word for word when I was talking to him about a certain someone.  It made me think about what I was holding on to. I want him, and then I don't. I feel like it going to end up like Carrie and Mr. Big from Sex and the City minus the marriage. We are going to keep going back and forth and one day I will either finally let him go or he will move on as well. I love him more than words can describe and through our problems of not being able to get on the same page for 5 years, I wonder if it is something that we have become accustomed to as a safety net or could we survive after we are official and/or on the same page. He has a special place in my heart even though we basically have a Skype relationship. Its a big concern for me, because all I want is to be happy with my future life relationship, but I don't want to miss out on someone that is meant for me playing relationship tag like its a game. How long do you wait to get what you think will make you happy? Nothing in life is absolute nor is it guaranteed, so how am I to know if this is what my life has in store for me when I am afraid of what could happen if its over or if its my path. Just something I have conflicting in my heart and head. #ImConfusedInLove

Post #200

Well what can I say? It has been a fun journey so far, and I can't wait for what is to come. Many projects with my writing in the form of books, poetry, and more blog entries. I hope those of you that read my blog regularly have enjoyed the journey thus far and what is to come. Many thanks to your loyalty and don't be shy tell me what you want to read more or less of.

From the Diva

xoxoxo

Taking it off

The stereo turned down low all you can hear are the faint whispers of a popular Maxwell song. I climb in the bed to gently wake him up, because I got home late from work. When he turns over, he smiles and wakes up to kiss me. I tell him to sit up and get comfy I have a special surprise for you. I leave him to change, and he readies himself for this surprise. When I come back I am in a sheer floor length red negligee, because that's his favorite color. I have the matching lacy underwear and fluffy heels to boot. I turn up the stereo to have something to groove to as I begin to do a striptease for him. Moving my hips from left to right dropping it as I move. My gown ties up in the front so I pull one string as I stare him in the eyes, innocently and seductively. My once lace covered breast is now exposed as I continue to dance. I let the gown fall to the ground. I play with the sides of my peek-a-boo panties. I slowly untie one side and cover my private areas while I pull the other side a loose. As soon as my panties hit the floor and I am completely exposed my man is standing at full attention. He curls his finger telling me to come closer so I climb on the bed on all fours to greet his penis with my luscious and very excited lips. I glide his shaft down my wet and watering throat. Taking him in entirely while he moans in pleasure. move up and down wrapping my tongue around his penis making it so wet. I grab his balls and get in a rhythm of massaging them and sucking his shaft. I flick the tip of his dick off the tip of my tongue a few times before I swallow his manhood whole. e reaches for my head and holds me there. I gag a little and I can feel the veins pulsate on his penis. He wants to cum but he is holding it back. He tells me he wants to feel my pussy and see how wet I am, he can't stand the anticipation of the warmth and comfort of how he perfectly fits me like a glove. I mount him to ride like a cowgirl on her stallion. Moving my hips in a circular motion as I ride up and down he can feel the deepest parts of me and I am moaning in ecstasy. My breast are bouncing up and down with every move I make. He grabs hold trying to wrangle me into his presence. I lean forward so he can get a mouthful of my bountiful chest. He whispers in my ears that he wants to go deeper. So as I get off him, he grabs my hair from behind and bends me over. Roughly taking what he wants and how he wants it. Hitting it from the back he is able to go so deep I can feel it all in my pelvis. It hurts, but is balanced with pleasure. Harder I yell. I want to explode with euphoria when I cum. He pushes my limits and I love it. Slapping my ass and pulling my hair as he pushes deeper and harder. I am about to climax and I can feel my legs already getting weak and shaking. He says he wants to cum but he needs to see my face. When he pulls out I quickly turn over and he busts all over my stomach. He collapses next to me and my legs are still shaking. I am utterly exhausted and entirely satisfied. He makes my body feel passion and my heart feel complete. That's my man and that's why he gets special treats ;)

First Date Ideas

For those of you who may be lacking in this department, for finding fun and creative first dates, here are a few ideas to spark some ideas of your own. Depending on what kind of chick you are trying to impress, the less traditional and more thought you put into it, the better. These are some great dates that won't hurt the wallet, and can be totally fun and cute. Some of the best friendships and relationships I've had have started with stuff like this. Don't take my word for it, experience it and enjoy yourself always.

• Batting cages and Jamba Juice
• Dinner at a classic Diner ( not Johnny Rockets )
• Driving to a beach city and having corn dogs at the pier
• Gallery opening for an up and coming artist.
• Comedy show
• Watching local sport leagues play their games
• Playing tourist in a famous area (ie taking pictures by the Hollywood walk of fame, Santa Monica Pier, waiting in line for Pinks Hot dogs)
• Mini golf and arcade games
• Dinner at a boutique restaurant with a funky theme (not traditional)

Is it just me?

When you meet someone new that is drop your jaw attractive, do you ever wonder if they would be good in bed? So my group of friends has regular faces that come around, so for a new face to pop up and be that hot that at least 3 females were like I want that, that says a lot. I have like a little mini crush on this guy now that he has come to two functions and I have spoken to him. He is sexy, a total gentleman, well spoken, and kind of sweet. But as I was talking to him the other night, it was loud and when he leaned in to talk to me, I damn near melted. I wanted to jump his bones right there on the pool table we were standing next to, because if he is this appealing with clothes on, what is he like with them off?
Now I don't know what theories are out there for this type of situation, but when I meet someone new that I am physically attracted to, my first thought is usually if they are going to be a good lay or not. To me that feels like a man tendency, but I don't know. I guess after that initial lust, I calm down and think rationally about what qualities a person has, but that initial I want to jump on them is hard to handle. But my question is does anyone else ever feel like this or is it just me, because I like sex? :)

Damn this weather...

I hate the rainy season because something about it always brings the emotional girlie girl out of me. I always want a boyfriend around this time, just because I turn into this girl that wants to cuddle. I never like cuddling unless its raining outside or they are really special to me. For the life of me, it feels like the rain floods me with emotions and overflows it so I can seek outside warmth to get it under control. I know that may be a bit of a stretch, but can you blame me? I have been the dude in so many of my hook-ups and relationships cuddling just turns me off. Then my girlie side comes rearing its moody crazy head and all of a sudden I want to watch chick flicks, drink wine, cuddle up with a boy and force him to be there with me. Now that I am done venting, should you know anyone worthy of some quality time with me, make sure you send them my way ;) I am officially taking apps for boyfriends and or cuddle buddies. I have enough fuck buddies thanks!

I don't want to be 60 when it happens...

I hate those love stories of it wasn't never the right time. one person's ready and then the other is not. They marry other people and find each other again after kids grow up and spouses pass away. I hate those love stores why? Because you can't enjoy a relationship like your 20s in your 60s. The back and forth love struggle is doomed the moment you realize you're perfect for each other and you can't get on the same wave length. Maybe in another lifetime it could be a beautiful fairytale romance, but I never liked those anyway so to me it just wasn't as destined as previously planned. I would much rather find my love today than to wait till I was 60 and lived my life with another man, because that means who I was destined to be with I couldn't share my life with. But I guess that's why so many of my friends are hopeless romantic, and I am a realist.

I got a few things to get off my chest...

• When stepping to a female like myself, understand that I have a number of suitors. Not on my cocky shit, on some real shit. I meet a ton of people a day and no matter how badd a chick is or how busted she is, some thirsty nigga will hit on her. If I'm not feeling you to begin with, why would I put you as a priority. If you don't like it, talk to some one else, its that simple. there are 8 billion people on the planet if you can't find one that digs you the way you dig them, then fly to Jupiter otherwise move on and get past it. 
• Thirst is a serious disease that can't be solved with water. (thirst = desperation and for this example water = pussy) Thirsty people are needy, clingy, and have nothing but hormones on the brain, because they never acquired the life skill of putting goals and success first, their priority is the opposite sex or in some cases the same sex. These people need to find each other and leave the rest of the population alone. They are the weak links of society that drag down forward progress of smarter generations to come.
• Love is not a science, there is no perfect formula, there are not full proof rules and regulations, and there are no absolutes except that it exists. You can't turn it on and off and you can't choose what your heart wants. Work with it and accept it.
• Everyone is a work in progress, and nobody knows how to live your life better than you, because what works for one person may not work for the next person. Find what works for you and go with it.
• Yes, I am sexually active. No, I will not sleep with you because you think I'm pretty. Yes, I do think you are a loser so being so thirsty. No, you do not have a chance with me ever.
• If you complain about what everyone else is doing, then how are you improving your own life? I mean does God give you heaven credit for hating on someone else's life? Does it put money in your account or gas in your tank to back-stab people you call your friend? if you are so worried about everyone else, then how are you living life to the fullest everyday? 

Self Lovin'

Lotion on my hands so I know they're soft, I rub my nipples in a circular motion just to tease them a little. Pinching the tip to feel a rush to make my pussy wet. I grab them in their entirety, but my hands can barely cup half before it overflows out of my palms. My hands glide down my body to the outline of my pussy. Before I even pull off my panties I can feel how soaked they are, so i slide them off to expose my glistening shaved kitty kat. I rub over my clit to feel the juices on it, and when I take my delisiously soaked fingers off of it to taste, I let out the most seductive moan as if I had a partner watching. I dive back in to feel me out. Slowly penetrating my pussy lips touching the walls and grazing the edges with my freshly manicured nails. It feels amazing with a slight tickle. Rubbing circles around my clit gently, I speed up sending a chill up my spine, I breathe heavier and heavier as I come close to climax. The soft touch of my smooth hands against my pussy screams pleasure inside me. As I make myself cum, my back arches and my hips turn. It is an intense pleasure only I can create from knowing my body. With one hand on my pussy and the other grabbing my breast I let out the whisper of a scream and exhale deeply. Curled up in the fetal position I want to hold in this pleasure and let it resignate through my body.

Single life and Sexual frustration

Being a single woman especially in California is a rough task. We are constantly competing with younger, hotter versions of ourselves. Fresh face in many circles mean new challenges. I am at a crucial age where the guys I want to date are too immature to handle a grown woman interested in serious relationship status and not high school kicking it. Then you have the men that are older but looking to get married tomorrow to any young thing that will give them the time of day. Is it too much to ask for at this time in my life for a man that can handle a sexual relationship without the potential of getting obsessed? Or a man that wants to date a woman secure in herself and her future that has a healthy sexual appetite. I don't need you, but I want you in my world. I am picky with who I date or sleep with like any woman should be, so when there is a drought of men that are men and a flood of men that act more like women than most women my hopes for a good sex life are limited and depressing. I don't need you to be uber sensetive and in touch with your emotions I need a MAN, disconnectrd to his feelings and primed with carnal passion. As bad a that sounds that's what women really want. They say they want a man in touch with his emotions and caring and sensitive, but they leave him for the bad boy fixer-uppers. Don't confuse what i'm saying. Nobody ends up with the bad boy except the bad girl, why because they have a dysfunctional relationship that works. Every woman wants to know that the man they choose has that in them but knows that there is a time and place for it. Long story (already), short I either need to get boo'd up for this cuddle season or its going to be a very long and lonely season.

Adrenaline Junkie

I think with my sex life I have seriously become one, because just having sex is fun, but almost getting caught makes it hotter. The less inhibitions I have and more comfortable I get with my body the more I like having sex in public places. the adrenaline gets my blood pumping and helps me perform better. On the other hand however it seems to make the guy more nervous and stressed, which in turn makes it more difficult for him to perform at a level that would make me satisfied. So its kind of a trade off, that is only semi worth it. If it pays off, the win is amazing, if it doesn't then it is just awful and feels like a waste of time. I wouldn't call myself a gambling woman, but high risks yield high rewards. I'm just saying.

Update

So it has been quite some time since I have posted to the blog, and not because I have nothing to say, but because I am working on book number 2. The first book got a little to emotional and personal for me, so I decided it would be better for me to just move on. I want to give you a little insight as to what book 2 is about. It is broken down into 8 chapters with various scandalous titles such as, random hook-ups, relationship nookie, and lesbian encounters. These of course are all working titles so that I may keep them organized. Each chapter will consist of about 4-6 stories of my experiences in the bedroom good, bad and ugly. One chapter will consist of stories from other parties. So that's what I'm working on these days I will be posting a few articles soon just to keep up with my blog, because i need a break every now and again from the book.

Online Dating..

I was debating giving online matchmaking a try. There are just so many options to choose from. You have the "creeper" way of facebook, twitter, tumblr and other social networks. You have the fixed semi-exclusive way of eharmony, match.com, chemistry.com and others of the like. Then last but no least the always made fun of craigslist and backpage. These sites are no more random than meeting someone in a public place or being set up by a friend. There is such a negative stigma put on this method, because of creepy liars that portray good people but are really just lame losers. Don't get me wrong, I meet people i'm interested in all the time, it just has the champagne affect, pop and fizzle. some of the best conversations and relationships I have ever built started out just talking on the Internet and getting to know each other. But I must say some of my funniest and worst experiences have happened through this method as well. All in all its no different than meeting a undercover creeper at a party or the bookstore, so life's chances are taken at every turn.
Its so awkward when my girlfriends ask me, where did you meet him? sometimes I'm just like I met him on facebook, and before i can say that I play in my head their judgmental reactions and make something else up instead. So i guess what I mean is the risky chance of a website like eharmony doesn't seem so out there, but I can't wait till the societal norm of it changes so people aren't so ashamed of saying that's where they met someone.

Some guys are such babies or...

Maybe my shell is too hard for you to penetrate, making you not worthy anyway. I don't know why you thought you were the only man in my life? I never said anything or did anything that would lead you to believe this. So now that you're mad at me, because you think I played you when I told you I was talking to other guys when you met me, i'm a whore, and a slut and a bitch, because you caught feelings and I don't feel the same way. Tell me something, is it me you're mad at or yourself? You pursued me not the other way around so no needs to call me names when you were the one interested in me. If i'm such a whore and a slut why did you catch feelings and pursue me the way you did? So again I ask, is it me you're mad at or yourself?

What's so wrong with...

telling me you miss me.

just being friends.

being happy for me even if it means not with you.

being a woman that wants a man just for sex and not after anything from him.

living my life for me.

loving who I want regardless of race or gender.

not giving a flying FUCK.

Oh Boobies!

I was taking my shower this morning and don't judge me for this, but I ended up spending a particularly large amount of time lathering my breasts. They are not an overly sensitive area for me, so a million thoughts kept running through my mind as I continue to basically play with my boobs in the shower. Why do guys like big boobs so much? I wonder what I would look like if I lost weight and they stayed the same size? why do some guys love the sensation of nipple play way more than me? Is it weird that I hate when guys spend too much time on the boobs and not else where? just to tell you a few. Now don't get me wrong, but when I say they aren't overly sensitive, that doesn't mean I don't like my chest, I LOVE my boobies, they are two of my favorite assets. I just don't get the whole wow factor. But I digress, they are fun sometimes.

Tasty Treats

I walk through the door hoping to be greeted by the adoring eyes of my puppy, waging her tail and happy to see me. I am instead welcomed home with a trail of rose petals the brightest shade of pink and the deepest of reds. Candles lighting the house and the silhouette of the tall handsome man I love. He takes my heavy bag and large purse off my shoulders. The weight being lifted I am relieved. He hands me a glass of champagne and dips a strawberry in my glass. The perfect taste of bubbly and the sweet juice squirting from this berry is an explosion of flavor in my mouth. To my delight as I peer around the corner of the kitchen is a buffet of sinfully delicious treats and tasty decadent teasers. I see chocolate sauce, whipped cream, caramel, cherries, strawberries, honey, and a bucket full of ice cubes. I turn to look back at my man, and I realize he has stripped down to the bare essentials. Grabbing my body and ripping my blouse open. I pull my skirt down leaving my body nearly exposed. As I unhook my bra, he slides my panties down kissing my thighs on the way, sending chills back up my body. He lifts me to set me on the kitchen table. He lays my body out and begins to play the sweetest melodies in the stereo. I wait in anticipation of the first tasty treat to meet my body. He paints around my ariola with the chocolate sauce, and glides the strawberries through it. With a taste of chocolate on the berry, you can tell he wants more so he takes it. He uses his tongue to play with my nipple as he licks the chocolate off my body. Gliding his tongue down my stomach he gets to the top of my pussy. He tickles my lips with the gentle caress of a berry. Slowly squeezing the juice out only to lick it up. I want to feel his tongue deep inside my walls. Every new sensation building to a climactic and euphoric ecstasy. He climbs on top of the table and guides his body on top of mine, every so slightly rubbing his dick on top of my now dripping wet pussy. I can feel his dick growing, getting harder and harder ready to go deep inside the warmth of my wet pussy. He slides inside of me, moaning with my deep breathes. This is a perfect unity of our bodies, thrusting slowly touching further back with every entry. Breathing in unity the sound is almost a melody, as we speed up to come to a climax of epic titillation. He brings my body to the brink and stops to change positions. My body now tender and ready he bends me over the table hitting my spots nicely. With a slight arch in my back, he he is able to go deeper thrusting so rapidly that the meaty part of his balls hitting my clit making me explode in orgasmic pleasure. My muscles tighten up and squeeze his dick, making him bust. He sounds like a tennis player as he grunts in total satisfaction that he has climaxed. He lays on top of me as we are bent over the table panting heavily. I can feel his cum run down my thigh and it feels so good. I turn my head, reach for the whipped cream and smile, "Round 2?" He smiles back.