Winter Selection

So as many of you who know me personally or have friended me on a social networking site know that I date a lot, because i always talk about the funny series of events that is my life. I've had my fair share of flings, trysts, affairs, romances, one night stands and what have you, but those describe the action in which i share with someone, never really touching on the what you would call someone if you were talking to your friends about that person. So of course with everything now, I look to my new found addiction, Twitter. I've been asking around my twitter family, and what they have been saying they need and/or have, this holiday season, is a "Winterboo".  This term as far as my knowledge goes originated with a gentleman by the self-given name of Smash Rock Well who by the way if ur not following on twitter ur missing out on great jokes and keeping your timeline extra sexy. But anyway, for me a winterboo is someone that may not be marriage material, but has great qualities in a date or even potential friend. You generally feel comfortable bringing this person around your family and friends, or even your co-workers, but only during the winter holidays, where it feels mandatory to be coupled up so as not to get pittied. It may not have been the intention, but I took it and that's how i'm going to use it, and i'm not ashamed to say that. They may not be marriage material, for whaever reason, "player", stubborn, overbearing, needy/clingy, the list goes on and on depending on what your personality is, but may be perfect to keep around for short periods of time, say the winter season for instance.
This brings up too many topics to write about, well in one entry at least. What i would like to focus on is the idea of not being ready for a serious commitment, but still longing for relationship interaction.With me maturing over the years, and being a young female dating older men, I haven't been ready to commit to someone for long periods of time, because I like to date and see what's out there. Getting more serious about what i want out of a relationship, I have become a little more "picky" so to say. So when I need to be coupled up for certain events like holiday parties with work and/or family or just someone to be with when its cold and i'm lonely, a "winterboo" would be nice to have around, with the option of becoming a potential. To me it just seems like they would be better suited to be around from as early as thanksgiving, and as late at Valentine's day if I were to put a time frame on it.
You may not find Mr. right, but Mr. right now is always available.

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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/DymondDiva

Merry Christmas!

I want to start out by saying that if you are in a relationship right now, this is the only time you will see me truly jealous. I hate being alone during the holidays, it depresses me because good single nookie is even harder to come by. Every decent guy is taken and all the loose ends can never quite get it done. I wont bore you with my humdrum personal life, I just needed to get a couple things off my chest before I tell you my Christmas story to spice up your Christmas night festivities. *Based on a true story but a few details have been changed*

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the apartment not a creature was stirring, not even the puppy. Decorations put up, and gifts wrapped under the tree, everything done in utopian perfection. Her boyfriend in shock when he got home to see this. You see he's never been big on Christmas with all bad memories. This year would be different, we would start a new tradition, for just the two of them. So he continued to walk through the place looking for his lady, and what did he find as he entered the bedroom but none other than that vixen in the bed sleeping. So he takes off his jacket and sneaks in the bed, cuddles up with her and softly wakes her up. She is pleasantly surprised to see her big strong man home from a long days work. They snuggled up close and he noticed without pause that she was laying there in his favorite, butt naked with a smile.
They begin to kiss heavily, stripping off his clothes, buttons flying everywhere but the rhythm staying on point. He kisses her head to well you know. He moves down her stomach to taste the sweet nectar her pussy creates. He ravishes her body making her climax multiple times, she's almost to weak to move but gathers up energy to return the pleasure. She climbs on top of her big strong man, kissing his chest and slowly creeping down. She gets to the V, you know what I mean, nibbles here, and nibbles there. With each tender motion he knows the pleasure that awaits him. She gets the momentum going, slowly sucking and blowing till his long thick penis is hard as a rod. She speeds up, making his toes curl and moaning in subtly pleasure. he can no longer hold it in he explodes with pure ecstasy.
He is rock hard again and says some cheesy line making her giggle and be unprepared for the deep penetration she is about to endure, she yells out in pure euphoric bliss. With each thrust he makes her scream and moan. They are getting their workout tonight. She stops him and turns around to say "its my turn to ride". She climbs on top of him, moving her hips like a hula hoop, she rides him back and forth cumming in the process. He plays with her breast as they bounce up and down sucking on them every time she leans forward enough. He enjoys her body, full figure, large breast, round thick booty. He soaks in all that is his woman, and with one last grind, lets out a passionate moan of enchantment their orgasms in unison, the fall to the bed laying in silence for this is a Christmas Tradition they both can get used to.

So I have shared with you a story based on real events, only slightly changed to fit my theme of Christmas, I hope you enjoyed, I know I sure had fun writing it.

Seasons Greetings to everyone, and to every one have a good night ;-)

Time to find a new mate....

Its time to find a new MAN if:
- He asks you to come across town for booty, but won't go around the block to help you fix a flat tire.
- He used to take you to out, but now he's saving up to move out your crib.
- You go from seeing or talking to each other every day to talking once a month.
- His name is only three letters, they ain't no good. (personal experience)
- He goes from taking you out to just hanging out. (ie booty calls, and only being at home)
- He spends more time at the nail shop than you. He is too high maintenance for you.
- He isn't worthy of bringing around your friends and/or family
- He spends more time at the strip club than at work or at home
- He gets his side chick pregnant and/or expects you to be the mother figure
- Quality time means you waiting on him hand and foot while he watches sports.
- The closest thing to a book that he reads is the history of Sports Illustrated
- The closest thing to a commitment is setting plans for that night

Its time to find a new WOMAN if:
- She has no useful skills. (ie cooking,cleaning, working...)
- She is looking for financial security instead of emotional security
- She refers to herself as a barbie or 5star chick. (she not ready to be a grown up)
- Her main goal is to raise children with no way to support them.
- She gets a little to friendly with your best friend, room mate, cousin, brother or father
- She'd rather fuck you than talk to you. (what female you know does that? Hoe tendencies)
- Collecting baby daddies is a hobby.
- She think being a bad bitch is a compliment.
- She refers to labels as friends. (Me and Louis V go way back, I used to rock with Dolce..etc.)
- The friends she keeps are doing better than her. (they keep her around to make themselves feel better)
- She said she pole riding to get through school. (and didn't mention what kind of pole)
- She doesn't want to be a wife but wants the big fancy wedding.

Yes BigDaddy...

I want to talk about a recurring theme with the men I seem to be picking to date. Men wanting their woman to be submissive to them, but if i'm smarter than you, how can I submit. I am more than willing to do whatever i can to make sure my man is pleased mind, body, and soul, but to let him take a controlling role, and him not even be worthy of it is not something I can idly sit by and let happen. I'm not talking about one specific aspect, i'm talking about from the bedroom to the foundation the relationship is based on.

When it comes to the bedroom, I don't mind being fairly submissive but to give complete control to a man is rather out of the question. Nobody can control my orgasm better than me, so why would I let someone else take that away from me. I fully believe that women have a more caring nature and should be able to give to their man in any shape or form that is asked. If he wants his dick sucked go ahead and do it, if he wants to try some new off the wall position go with it, if he asks you to stick a finger in his ass say eww that's nasty. I'm just joking but please do what you can for your man as long as you are comfortable, because guaranteed if you aren't open and at least willing to go there, he'll find a side piece that will. But then again if you don't want to and he truly loves you he wouldn't want you to do anything to pressure you negatively. To continue on what I was talking about, i'll be damned if you try to "work me" and I can't get to a climax because you want to be in control. That's just crazy.

Looking at gender roles, you see it being more oppressive than submissive. From the beginning of time women are seen as inferior, so why wouldn't they be seen as submissive in every aspect of their life. As society is progressing however, you see more and more women being independent and taking the lead in their relationships and life. You still see the struggles for successful and powerful women not being able to find a man that is secure enough in his manhood to be with a woman that brings home more money and has more power. The key to being in a successful female dominated relationship is knowing when to be submissive and not challenge the other person. This is key for men and women. Men need to learn to check their over sized ego at the door and let their women know they are their queen. Women need to learn to stroke their ego every now and again to let him know that he is their king.

Being submissive doesn't make you an inferior man or woman, it shows your vulnerability and your willingness to give unconditionally to your partner. Playful banter, and submissive play in the bedroom are great ways to keep the spark. Letting someone take the lead is healthy for longer lasting relationships. I want to see more people putting an end to getting caught up in gender roles and focus more on just loving the one you're with.

Sex and Love

Sex is a game and Love is an art. Don't try to play a game when you want to create art. -Dymond Diva

When it comes to sex and love people tend to get things confused. The way to get to someones heart is not through their pants or up their skirt. You can't expect someone to love, cherish and respect you for years to come if all you seem to do is suck and fuck when you see each other. There is no foundation to that relationship, so it can not grow into anything stable and substantial.

There are common phrases talking about someones "sexgame". This is because you can play so much with sex and its supposed to be fun. You play with food, with toys, with positions, with so much, that it is just like a game. People always want to know how good at it you are. With society norms being what they are, guys are more open about their "game", even if it is a lie, they will still talk about it.

When it comes to love, it is like art. A lot of great love is lost, because its not appreciated and cared for when its around. Great artisits like Picaso, Da Vinci and Van Gough didn't get significant recognition until their lives were over. My first great love didn't appreciate me until he cheated on me and I left him. He didn't realize that I was his everything and I was the only one that supported him the way he needed. Didn't realize it till he left his 80% for that 20%. If you don't know what that means go watch Tyler Perry's "Why did I get married". 

If you want to build a masterpiece, don't let the games of life and sex get in the way and cloud your judgement. If you're not ready for love, then don't lead the one you are with to believe that you are, it only leads to hurt feelings and bitter people. If more people are open about their true feelings and intentions, then less people would be in toxic relationships and marriages. Just marinate on that and don't let it escape your mind when you enter into your next relationship.

Who, What, Where, When Why?

Who ever said sex was over rated wasn't getting laid on the regular.
What is it about relationships that scare people?
Where is it written that you deserve head for being a lazy piece (goes for men and women)
When will people learn that sex fades but conversation is for life
Why does the heart what it can't have so many times.

Who is willing to go deeper for true love and not settling for your baby momma or baby daddy?
What is the best time to have sex? beause I feel like if we wait till the end of the day we both tired
Where are all the educated black folk? They need to be the ones having kids, not these ghetto hot messes
When did it become socially acceptable to have kids before you got married?
Why become obessed with the material? when you lose it you lose all the people looking at you for it

Who ever said they were ready a for soul shaking, body rocking orgasm doesn't know what that means.
What is the point of asking for a change from others when you won't change yourself for the better?
Where are your parenting skills coming from?
When was the last time you truly felt passion when sleeping with someone?
Why do so many people lie about their sex skills? people will find out and put you on blast...so cut it out

Sexy vs. Skanky (office edition)

Sexy: Pencil skirts that hug your butt
Skanky: Mini-skirts that show your butt when you bend over

Sexy: Fitted pant suit from Express
Skanky: A pant suit you borrowed from your one night stand.

Sexy: Wearing what you would wear to a picnic to casual friday
Skanky: Wearing what you going to the club in, so you don't have to go home, after casual friday.

Sexy: A fitted sweater with dress pants and boots
Skanky: A fitted dress that leaves nothing to the imagination

Sexy: A white button up with a colorful undershirt that matches a tie
Skanky: A white button up where you can see the color of the bra being worn

Sexy: Closed-toe heels with 3-4 inches of height
Skanky: Open-toe sandal heels with 6 inches of height

Sexy: Pantyhose/ Stockings
Skanky: Fishnets

Sexy: Going to a bar or restaurant to close a deal
Skanky: Going to a strip club to close the deal

Sexy: being confident that your hard work will get you the promotion
Skanky: being confident your sex appeal and flirting with your boss will get you the promotion

Sexy: Being polite and showing the new person around the office
Skanky: Hooking up with the new person because they don't know your reputation.

Sex you want but don't talk about

For fear of sounding wierd or for fear of rejection, people are limited in their sexual experience because of what they want to bring to the bedroom. What I want to talk about in this entry are a few things for people to spice things up and step outside this box of inhibitions. Maybe you've done it, maybe you haven't, but either way it might spark something for you to try again or try for the first time.

Web Cam Sex- I'm not talking about anything super kinky, unless you're into that sort of thing, then by all means go ahead. I'm talking about a sexy strip tease for your partner or even a full on masturbation show. It really just depends on your comfort level. There are however a few guidelines you shold follow to enable an enjoyable experience for the both of you.

1. Make sure al lthe techy boring stuff is taken care of before hand nothing kills the mood more than a slow internet connection
2. Exaggerate the slowness of your movement or your partner may miss something you do
3. Anything you need must be within arms reach. (ie toys, lube etc.)
4. Make sure you position the camera so you are never out of frame. (there's no point if they can't see you)

Threesome- It may sound kinky, sexy and spontaneous, but the best threesomes are done with some one you know pretty well. Picking up a stranger is advice they give in movies and tv shows which isn't wise. Just a few rules that are set to ensure your successful Menge a trois.

1. Your third person should be someone that trust so as not to ruin the friendship later
2. Keep the lines of communication open. (Are you and/or your partner bi-comfortable? talk about it)
3. Set up guidelines so nobody does anything someone else doesn't like. (There will be resentment later)

Vouyerism- As far as your individual person goes, it can be looked at from either side. The most common would be you and your partner being watched, but to take it one step further, you or your partner watching the other with someone else. The adrenaline you get from not being in control amps up the orgasm you feel when you release.

Anal Play- For this you really need to be open in your sexuality. I know its a sensitive topic, but someone's gotta talk about it. with this type of sex play, it can be for both men and woman. The back door for a man can be pleasing if the right area is stimulated, the same goes for a woman. But there are a few rules to keep in mind before pursing this route

1. Don't do it unless you have permisson from your partner
2. Be hygienic. wash yourself of any feces so as not to smell and/or be offensive to your parner.
3. Be gentle and use enough lubrication.
4. The partner being penetrated should push back on the penetrator.
5. Relax, but stop immediately if there is pain, strong discomfort ot bleeding.

These are just a few things to get you thinking about different ways to spice things up. Talk to your partner about what you are comfortable with and how open you are willing to be with them sexually. The only thing ever lost is if you never ask.

Decoding the lies

Do you hear some these on the regular? If you do, you may be getting lied to. So next time you hear it say "why you lying?"

Men- "I'm scared to love because I was hurt before"
       -I want to see how much ass I can get from you before you wise up and leave me
Women- "We used to date, but he's just my friend now"
       -If you can't put the dick down this dude will be there to handle it.
Men- "I thought you trusted me"
       -I'm going to cheat on you, i just don't want you going through my phone to figure it out
Women-"I don't usually do this"
      -I don't want you to think i'm a hoe after this
Men- "Your friend is just mad at what we have"
      -I tried to fuck her, but she turned me down
Women- "Yes this is my hair"
      -I paid for it so it's mine
Men- "I wasn't looking at her booty"
      -I was i just didn't think you could see me do it
Women- "You're the father of litte Ja'kwame"
      -You may not be but you make the most money so i'm telling you its you
Men- "I don't like the way condoms feel"
      -I'm broke so i can't go buy some condoms. I just want to fuck and leave.
Women- "I don't do that"
      -I do, i just don't like you enough to do it for you
Men- "I just want you to be happy even if its not with me"
      -I want you to be happy only if its with me. I want you to think i'm sweet and sincere to get you back.
Women- "I've only slept with 3 guys"
      -Its way more than that, I just don't want you to call me a hoe
Men- "Let me call you right back"
      -I'm either just trying to get off the phone to holla at "shawty" or i'll forget to call back when i'm not busy
Women- "I would love a man for his heart not his money"
      -I don't want people to think i'm shallow but i really couldn't be with a broke man
Men- "Baby, i've been applying a lot of places, but nobody wants to hire me"
      -I'm telling you this so I can get some pussy tonight, and so you keep supporting my lazy.
Women- "I don't need a man for anything..."
      -He fucked my best friend and now i'm gonna be bitter and alone so I don't have to get hurt again
Men- "I Love You"
      -Either they mean it or it means I want some pussy
Women- "It's not going to cost much"
      -I don't want to tell you how much it's really going to cost because you'll be mad

More to come later

Ménage à trois

Usually this will intrigue men before it intrigues women, because woman are so programmed to think your man isn't satisfied with you so he's trying to find another option. I'm not saying it's not on his mind, but hello guys like sex, two hot females wanting to please him, not that he's not happy with you, but double the pleasure double the fun. To put it simply, if you could have two people pleasing you, would you want to try it. Women get so hung up on what it means and trying to analyze things, when its simple. So aside from that, the biggest question that plagued me was why are men so open to the idea of a Menage a trois, and why do women fear it? In my opinion, women are taught that if a man wants a threesome something has to be wrong with her, something he's looking for that she isn't giving him. Men on the other hand are encouraged to be adventerous, and try as much as possible, and have to try and in a sense trick his current lover/partner to be as adventerous.
So I took to my friends and asked them their thoughts on threesomes. To say the least most of them had fantasized about it, but never thought it would actually become a reality. The guys were all very against it being two guys one girl, and almost all the girls were into the idea of a "lesbianic" experience. The guys were into the idea of a girl kissing another girl, they even encouraged it. Yet when it came to the guys doing the same it was an astounding "naw man that shit is gay". So aside from the obvious double standard, which i won't get into this entry, everyone said that they wouldn't want to do it if they were in a relationship with one of the people. Another reason of why it wouldn't happen, was because they felt like it would be more fun to fantasize about it than to actually do it. ( It looks good in the movies, but don't most things look better there than in real life). And others just didn't think they were wild enough to ever actually go thru with it. On a side note I love how diverse my friends are in their views so I get a nice broad range of possible responses. So all in all I took in what they had to say, but my ideas are my own when it comes to sex especially threesomes. It breaks down to this, Would I? yes no question, but i'm a freak so what do you expect With who? either 2 guys or two girls i'm not afraid of a little girl on girl Have I? wouldn't you like to know.

It has come to my attention that I don't really talk that much about safe sex and what it can do for you in the long run. Please believe, when contemplating a threesome, you have twice as much risk as having just one partner. Ladies if you engage in threesomes with two men, please be on birth control and be using condoms. There is twice the risk of STDs and Pregnancies. There are enough babies being born to young mothers, no need for an accident that you can't support cause mommy and daddy got a little freaky.

Flirtexting: when is it to far?

Knowing the boundaries of flirtexting can in an instant make you seem like your intentions are more along the lines of one-night stand material and less like take you home to mom. Of course this is depending on what your actual intentions may be. When it comes to flirtexting i keep my rules simple, and there are only 5:

1. If you don't mean it sexually read it out loud before you send it.
2. If you would be embarrassed by your parents seeing it re-word it
3. If you wouldn't say it in person don't say it in text
4. There is a thin line between sexy and slutty with the words you say in a text so be careful
5. Naked pictures are never acceptable when flirting

For me these rules keep the texting in a safe zone so as not to welcome unwanted advances. No offense to any men that read my blog, but when it comes to sex men are simple you either want to or you don't. So it is up to women to not send the wrong signals, because it may seem harmless or unintentional, but anytime you bring up nakedness or being wet guys are going to think you want to fuck. There's no if, ands, or buts about that. Just a few helpful examples on toning down the slutty and taking it to flirty:

• Slutty: I'm taking a bubble bath getting all soaking dripping wet, wanting your body so bad.
• Flirty: I'm just chillin at home thinking about how great of a time I had with you the other day.
• Slutty: I loved the shirt you had on the other day, but it would look better on my bedroom floor
• Flirty:Where did you get that shirt, it's amazing and you wore it well.

Simple things like this can take a conversation from sexual to innocent, if you focus on the right thing. You full on may feel differently but thinking it and saying it to the person can determine where they categorize you, as in "jump-off", wifey, or just one of the guys. If you are not interested in just flirting, check out my previous entry on Phone Sex, because that's a whole different ball game. It's really easy to confuse the two when you are really excited about someone new in your life. If it helps at all think about what you want to say before you say it, as in send it to a friend, ask your roommate, anybody who is around you, to see how it could be taken. For me I write it and i text it to my best friend, if he says it sounds slutty I change it depending on if I want to sound slutty or not ;-)

Boyfriend Application

Recently since I decided to take myself off the market, because guys are just acting "Brand New" now-a-days. Having done a lot of interviews this week for work, combined with one of my friends bringing this topic to my attention, I got to thinking. What if we had resumes for relationships? What would you want to know up front so as not to waste time? so I came up with a series of questions I would want to know the answer to before i potentially wasted my time getting to know somebody that wasn't boyfriend material. Thus my boyfriend application was born. I'm feeling like you should also have to bring in references of people that know the good and bad about you, three at most. All jokes aside, here it is:


Get to know you.

1)Full Name __________________

2)Nickname(s)______________________________

3)Age___

4)Height____

5)Race/Ethnicity_______________

6)Birthday___/___/____

7)Astrological sign________

8)Do you follow Astrology?

9)Do you have siblings?Brothers___ Sisters___

10)Are your parents still apart of your life?


Get to know your situation.

1) Did you go to college? if yes where and what did you study?

2) Do you have a job?

3) Do you have a car?

4) Do you live at home with your parents? if no do you have roommates or are you by yourself?

5) Do you have any children? (yes one on the way counts)

6) Do you play any sports?


Get to know you at random.

1) Do you hang out with a bunch of girls or a bunch guys?

2) What sports do you watch? if none please stop and do not continue.

3) Would you rather go out on the town or stay inside and watch TV?

4) Who do you look up to most?

5) What kind of movies do you like?

6) When faced with a problem do you whine or just handle it?

7) Are you stupid? (NO JOKE, Do you use common sense)

8) What is a typical Friday or Saturday night like?

9) What phone carrier do you have?

10) Can you cook? (I don't mean top ramen or easy mac.)


Get to know what you're looking for. (BE HONEST)

1) Are you looking for long term or short term ?

2) Are you looking to just get laid or for a commitment?

3) Physically:
a)Height____
b)Weight____
c)Hair preference? (ie. long, short, curly, straight, color etc.)
d)Boob size_____
e)Waist____
f)Hips____

4) What's a deal breaker? (ie. physically, mentally, emotionally)

5) Make-up or no make-up?

6) Girlie girl or one of the guys? explain your answer.

Essay/Short Answer

Describe to me why you should be my boyfriend?

What is the biggest goal you have in life as of yet?

Why did your last relationship not work out?

Feel free to fill this out and return within 5-7 business days, just joking. Of course this is stuff I would want to know questions can vary so much from person to person, and could be completely sexually based or completely intellectually based.

Fucking vs. Loving

Fucking: Anytime, anywhere, down for anything
Loving: At night after a romantic dinner and stroll on the beach

Fucking: In the back seat of your car in a fast food parking lot
Loving: At the cabin by the lake where you would go for summer vacation when you were younger

Fucking: The two of you in someone else's pool skinny dipping
Loving: In your jacuzzi after a long day at work

Fucking: What single people do
Loving: What married people do

Fucking: Threesomes are an option for fun to be had
Loving: Threesomes are a way to get different sex

Fucking: One night stands
Loving: Same person every night

Fucking: Condoms, birth control, and worry about pregnancy
Loving: hoping to have a baby

Fucking: A new adventure everytime
Loving: The same adventure on repeat

Fucking: Gives you oral everytime
Loving: Gives you oral on your birthday.

Fucking: Is selfish, get yours and get out
Loving: Is generous, worries about their partner getting theirs

Fucking: Hit and miss on quality
Loving: You already know what you're getting

Last one so I should probably make it crazy good...lol
Fucking: Will have you calling in sick for a couple days cause you can't walk right, and you're just a little too tired to do anything important
Loving: Will have you knocked out and get a good night sleep, refreshed to start the next morning with a healthy breakfast.

Hoe This...Hoe That...Part Deux

Is there a limit that on the number of past sexual partners your current mate has had? I was recently reading about this on twitter, where a few of my friends were going back and forth in debate that only a woman should be limited in the number of past sexual partners she can have. As I was reading this it got me thinking, because a lot of what they were talking about was brought up in my post "Hoe This...Hoe That...". Many of the women that commented in this debate said that there was an unfair double standard, because "men can be hoes too". A few of them agreed with the men because "women look down on other women who have had a lot of partners". Quite a few of my friends believed that if they were to limit someone, they feel it would be okay to be limited, which I respect a great deal. Some which I highly favor, said "it's the past I can't control what she did before me", "the past is the past, and as long as he doesn't bring diseases with him to the present then i have no problems", "no because that would eliminate more than half the male population". To me no matter how educated you are, if you find someone with a tainted past, its the past, that shouldn't negate the fact that they make you happy and have potential to be the greatest love of your life. I really feel you should look at the motives behind why they may have so many sexual partners. Yes there can be the fact they have "hoe-tendencies", but is it that they are a hoe, or have a uninhibited sexual appetite? Hoes will smash the homies, sexual people enjoy every aspect of sex, from the passion and lust to sensuality and tenderness. Some men will sleep with you, your roommate, your sister and your best friend without a second glance. Other men will look for a deeper connection to associate the passion they have have for and with you, which you probably don't share with those people. Some women feel the same way. Take me for example, I don't sleep with every guy that hits on me, its not my style, but I still get good sex on the regular and I have more partners than the average, does that make me a hoe? Most people would say yes, many others would say no, and guaranteed the ones that say yes are men, because of the way they are programmed to think. Brought about because of society, women with multiple partners, are tainted, but men with multiple partners are praised for their experience. A lot of women that fuck to get them something or somewhere in life, will fuck your best friend and your cousin, and have no self-respect these are the hoes you can't turn into housewives, because if someone comes around with a bigger bank account or a bigger dick they will be out the door. So many people are so narrow minded that they can't help but think and believe what the societal norm is. You have to look outside that people. Open your eyes, develop your own thought and stop perpetuating these double standards.

Hoe This....Hoe That...

Why is it a problem, that I don't have a boyfriend anymore, but have sex on the regular? Society has put so much negativity on women having sex out of marriage or a relationship, that most girls I know don't like to talk about it for fear of being called a slut or hoe. Yet on the other hand, its perfectly okay that young men "take down" as many females as they can. Guys almost get rewarded for their "sex game" being experienced.
I feel like i'm a catch. I am educated, with a degree in Corporate Communications, I cook, clean, and take care of my business. I work, still in school to further my education, I drive, and i'm saving up to buy my own house. So my biggest question is what's the problem? and don't give me some half-ass answer that guys are intimidated by me, because I think that's a lazy lame excuse for anyone to have on themselves.
It's almost as though I need to be a virgin for guys to think i'm wifey material. While guys get more and more praise for how many conquests he has in his youth before he settles down. It reminds me a lot of the show "Sex and the City". Samantha is constantly be looked down on by her neighbors, co-workers, and on occasion her friends. They end up coming across a man, that is just as known for his promiscuity, yet it's okay with everyone, because "its what men do".
If you've seen the show, I wouldn't call myself a "Samantha", but I do enjoy my regular sexcapades. does my promiscuity negate my "wife qualities"? I feel I shouldn't have to give up my desire for great sex, because of what someone else may think, or what society has programmed him to think. I don't know what else I want to say about this, it's just not fair I guess. Slowly but surely i hope this double standard gets changed, but you never know what can happen.

Down Low Brothas and the Sistahs that help them

There are an alarming number of young black men that feel that they have to hide their sexual orientation for fear of rejection by friends and family. In this day and age, many gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender people fear for their lives like many black people did during the Civil Rights times. To be perfectly clear, I have a strong disbelief that they are in the same category of hatred. Yes it’s up there with it, but it’s still far from the same. However to discern the difference would bring up to much debate. I would be more than happy to talk about it on a side note, but it’s not the aim of this post. This topic hits close to home for me, because of family and close friends that live this lifestyle so I apologize if I seem a little stern and not so light hearted as usual.
There are many stories, of men being on the “down low” and leading heterosexual lifestyles. Many of the “down low” men have a wife and multiple kids, but still sneak around with men or transgender people. I have to imagine that when it does come out, it’s a big shock of betrayal and deception to another level because of the trust and sanctity of marriage in most cases. It’s one thing to hide the fact that you’re gay, but it is another to enter into something as sacred as marriage with the intent of lying and premeditated act of cheating and adultery. Don’t take this the wrong way, I have no problem with LGBT, I have a problem with the lying and deception some use to appease the bias and underdeveloped standards of “normal” society. I can’t respect someone that would intentionally lie to their loved ones to escape the ignorance of certain people.
And on a side note there are some women who even in the midst of knowing their man is on the “down low”, stick by their man for fear of being alone. No deceptive relationship is worth holding onto. There are literally billions of people in the world, you will find someone that is true to you and willing to be there for you 100%. If you’re gay be gay, don’t trick the people that care about you. It’s not fair to anybody. I threw that link in for your entertainment.

I'm gonna leave this post fairly open-ended for the simple fact that this is something that can't be fixed with one voice, and one opinion, but as only a community can change.

Sexy vs. Skanky

Sexy: wearing a lacy slip under your dress to a nice dinner date with your man.

Skanky: Wearing the same lacy slip as your dress to a dinner date with your man.

Sexy: slow dancing with a guy at the club

Skanky: dry humping with a guy on the dance floor

Sexy: showing up to your boyfriends place wearing sexy lingerie under a trench coat.

Skanky: showing up at a guy you went on two dates place wearing nothing but the trench coat.

Sexy: Classic little black dress with heels

Skanky: A too little dress that doesn't cover your butt and clear heels

Sexy: watching your man play ball at the park

Skanky: flirting with your mans friends at the park

Sexy: Getting your hair and nails done.

Skanky: Getting your hair to match your nails.

Sexy: Playing hard to get with a guy you're interested in.

Skanky: Being a total bitch to the guy you're interested in.

Sexy: Meeting up with a new guy for a lunch date.

Skanky: Meeting up with a new guy so you can hook up.

Sexy: Passionate love

Skanky: Passionate lust

Sexy: cooking a romantic candlelit dinner

Skanky: ordering dinner and claiming you cooked it.

Sexy: sending sweet texts saying "I love you"

Skanky: sending pictures of your privates

Sexy: Mini vacation to Cancun

Skanky: Mini vacation to Cancun during spring break.

Where Are the Passionate People?

I'm going to start a roll call for all the men that love passionately, in and out of the bedroom.

-The men that can make your day special just having them smile at you.

-The men that work hard every day to make a better life for himself, his family, and community.

-The men who listen to you because you want to be heard.

-The men that don't settle for easy and work for the true treasures.

-The men that don't cheat, because they know the woman at home would be devastated if he did.

-The men that know how to treat a woman's needs in the bedroom, not focused on getting his nut, but so that she's satisfied as well.

-The men that hustle the blue and white collar world instead of the streets.

-The men that can cook too.

Because I'm not biased and I believe in the values as well, where are the passionate women?

-The women that have a full-time job to bring support to their man.

-The women who are strong enough to be with a man and not for a man.

-The women who allow their men to be men, and not nag them to death with petty nonsense.

-The women who hustle their mind and not their bodies.

-The women that don't settle for less because Mr. Right hasn't shown up yet.

-The women who aren't gold-digging hussies out to get a quick payoff so they don't have to work.

-The women who enrich lives of the people around them instead of being a negative role-model in their community.

-The women who make a house a home with their love and care.

I am looking to find real people that can showcase at least some of if not all of these qualities. It seems as though people now-a-days have no sense of what is healthy and civil for people to act when it comes to relationships and community. So many people pretend to portray these attributes and lead those who are true to them down a path of wasted time and deceitful intentions. Sex, love and relationships can bring about many wonderful experiences, but can also bring on pain worse than anything you could ever physically feel. Don't mind me and my ramblings; it's just something that's been on my mind. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

Phone Sex: Is it Taboo?

Phone sex started out as very taboo as most things do, and yet over time has evolved into something much bigger. Basic sexy phone conversations being something you do at night when you’re in the bed has evolved to talking dirty thru text messages any time of day. I have been in meetings, class, and in line at the bank having sex-text conversations. It’s convenient and very sexy especially when u get home to find your partner there and ready to go. Foreplay, with evolving technology is being taken to a different level. In this new age, with cell phones making people so available, it’s very easy for people to have less contact and still get just as much sex if not more to keep the intimacy alive in a relationship. There are so many options, with camera phones, text messages, verbal communication, and videos. It can go from cute little messages left for you all the way to sexy strip tease videos to show them what they will get later that night. But with all this digital intimacy, is the flair of actual bedroom pillow talk fading and becoming a thing of the past?
It has always been something that is just done and not talked about, making it taboo, but I’ve noticed with some of my friends and me especially, that we are becoming more open about it, because you can do it any time of day anywhere you get service.
As I was getting advice about this from my friends, we seemed to all say there can be many pros and cons. With phone sex, you can use your imagination and let it run wild. It can go from so sweet sincere and romantic to some of the raunchiest, kinky stuff you never thought you would do or say. It gives you the chance to let your inhibitions flow away and just be open. The biggest downfall is the lack of follow thru. You can say all these things, you can use your imagination, you can be wild, but if that’s not your personality, if that’s not how you feel or can physically let go in the bedroom, even all this digital foreplay, it can be anti-climactic, and in all honesty a let-down. I also noticed that in some cases it can begin to replace the intimacy, which when it does, you need to take a step back and re-examine the relationship. If you don’t have time for each other, why are you still together? You can only do so much phone sex, before it gets repetitive and predictable. If that’s all the intimacy you share people tend to wonder and be unfaithful. Phone sex should be something fun and exciting, a little different from the norm, not the routine.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE guys don’t let this be you
Girl: Baby I want to feel your long shaft slowly penetrating deep inside my pussy lips as I nibble on your ear lobe and feel your breathing and my breathing sync into one.
Guy: Yeah girl I want to fuck you hard.
THIS IS NOT OKAY WITH ANYONE. It will end the conversation really quick and you will feel very stupid once you decide to use your head and think about what you should have said. Take time and use your head, be creative and sexy. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Sex with the ex: The Relationship Saga Continues Pt. 2

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and re-visit a topic, sex with an ex. Last time we talked about this, it was a “good” story. We got to experience one of the good times when sex with an ex can be fun. Now let me tell you a little story about when it can turn sour and people can get hurt…BADLY.

I was dating this guy for about 6 months, and we were friends for two years before that. I actually had the biggest crush on him long before we started to be good friends, so from the jump I was more into him than he was to me. Looking at it from the outside, it was doomed to begin with. We were lovey dovey; we even got to the point where we said I love you. So it was hard for me to let go, when he said it was too much commitment. I mean he was the one that said I love you first. I was mad, upset, bitter, angry, sad, lonely, basically every sad emotion I could be when it came to no longer being with him. Once that subsided and I could be in the same room with him without crying or wanting to kick him in the nuts, we started to talk. We began to become friends again, and had laughs and good times together. Then the infamous KISS happened and all the emotions I ever felt for him good and bad came flowing back at once. I was happy, because I was naïve to the fact that he didn’t want to be with me again, he just wanted to get laid. I was hopelessly in love with this guy who didn’t understand the emotional state I was in with him. He gave me hope when there was none so I gave him pussy, because I thought at that time it would bring us closer. So I continually got wrapped into the physical, I was getting laid, he was getting laid, but my emotions for him were getting suppressed. One day it was too much for me to handle. I had reached my breaking point and when I reached max capacity for suppressed emotion, I went into a deep depression. I wasn’t going to class, I wasn’t eating, and I wasn’t hanging out with any of my friends. I laid in my bed crying for weeks because I let him break my heart twice. I gave him control with my heart but didn’t tell him he had it. He was playing the game without knowing the rules. It took me over a year to move on and get my relationships back to normality. Now I feel bad for the guys I dated right after him, because I gave them my bitterness and anger towards men, which isn’t fair to anyone.

This here is the bad, and when I say it can get even worse please stay tuned for the next installment when it gets ugly. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Get it, Get it now....

The average young adult in America has had sex. And how could they have not with the new norm of today’s society is that most young people, around the age of 14 and 15, are losing their virginities, because their friend did, that’s what they saw on TV, or their favorite music artist is talking about it, when not too long ago the norm was saving yourself for marriage. Even with all this change in society’s norms, there are a few people in college who still hold true and abstain from having pre-marital sex. A few of my friends in particular, have shared with me that when the topic turns to sex that sometimes they get uncomfortable, because they feel as though we are pressuring them into something without actually saying something. Most of them have said that the teasing gets old, but don’t want to give into this kind of peer pressure. Which is reasonable, who wants to say I lost my virginity because my friends wouldn’t stop teasing me? So few people realize the effect their words have on others, which leads to self-esteem issues and other problems.

So to continue, when I was talking to one of my guy friends about him still being a virgin, he said it was way harder in high school to be a virgin than in College, but life for him was improving as he got older. I think that is mostly due to him having found friends that are more mature, and don’t focus on getting laid as much as getting an education or at least don’t show it. He also said he wasn’t necessarily waiting for marriage, just for a girl that was good to him, and wouldn’t break his heart. (See ladies it goes both ways so don’t be so mean). My other friend said something similar, she was ready, but doesn’t want to feel like a piece of ass afterwards, which I totally get, nobody wants to feel like that. While at the same time, a lot of my guy friends say they don’t want to experience a virgin for the fear that they get attached as many first timers do, which is a topic for another day.

As you can tell I am very passionate when it comes to me having sex, I mean hello my whole blog, but it concerns me when my younger cousins who are 14, 16, and 18 are in the influential age group that are having sex. I’m more-so concerned for the young ones that are in high school, because high school students peer pressure about sex more than any other age group. I hope by the time you get to this point that you don’t think I’m condoning pre-marital sex in any shape form or fashion. If you are ready, go with your gut, and don’t let anyone influence you. To give my little two cents, as far as age goes, if you can’t support yourself at 15 you can’t support a baby, so you shouldn’t be doing anything you’re not prepared to deal with for the long run. It’s always okay to say no, and that goes for men and woman.

So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Sex with an ex....The relationship saga continues...

When it comes to sex with an ex, my theory is you can’t spell sex without an ex, so you might as well go with it for now. I feel like there should be certain rules you must follow, if you go there with an ex. Please keep in mind these are the reflections of my personal beliefs on what should be done. This has been compiled from a variety of sources mainly my friends.
1)Don’t go there if it was a bad break up. It is only going to make the more hurt party feel like there is hope when there is none. If u decide to do it anyway there is no way to avoid at least one person hurt more than they were before.
2)Don’t go there if neither of you have really had a chance to move on. Too soon after a break up can once again give hope to at least one or both parties. If you have had the chance to move on and you are both comfortable with each other and there is no bad blood between you go for it if it feels right.
3)Don’t go there if either of you have a current significant other. That’s just asking for trouble.
4)Don’t go there if the sex was never great in the first place. If it wasn’t great why go back to it and bring up other emotions and feelings.
5)Don’t hook up with an ex when you’re intoxicated. It leads to absolutely nothing but regrets in the morning, and possibly even more hurt feelings.
As you can tell there are a lot of don’t in my book when it comes to this topic. This is because I have had many a friend and many an experience where it can go badly. But it’s my favorite time STORY TIME!!!
I have to say one of the funniest times where sex with an ex is involved, is when I was dating this guy for about 3 months or so, and we just weren’t sparking. The physical attraction was there, just no real emotional connection. We decided we would be better suited at being friends instead of bf/gf. (As you notice nice clean break up) a few weeks past, I haven’t been laid in a while, so I’m starting to feel a little bit of pleasure withdrawal if you will. Now mind you my ex and I are still good friends, so I know he’s not dating anyone yet. So he comes over to my apartment, and we are watching a movie on my computer. I feel that it is a universal thing that if you invite someone over to “watch a movie” it means I want to get busy. With the luck that I have, my ex is the only person in the world that doesn’t get this, so we literally watch a movie. On a scale of 1-disappointed, I was pretty freaking disappointed. So clearly with him a subtle hint is not going to work. So I wait about a week to invite him over to my place, and since subtle hints don’t work, I opened the door with black lacy boy shorts and matching bra on along with a red corset because that was his favorite color. He was completely floored and rushed in and ravished my body right there on my kitchen counter. We eventually made it to the bedroom, and it had to be some of the best no strings attached sex I have ever had. Sex with your ex is supposed to be no strings attached, but more often than not, there’s going to be strings because there is a brief or long history. It all comes down to the couple’s dynamic. This was an example of the good....The bad and the ugly to follow...

Age: Is it really just a number?

As you may know from looking at my profile, you will see that I am 21 years of age. Since I started dating at the young age of 14, I have dated from 15-46. Don’t look at the screen all crazy I was of legal age when I dated someone 46yrs old; I was 19 to be exact. But with that said, if you are emotionally invested in a relationship, does age really matter? Now mind you when I was 19 I wasn’t interested in a man that was 46 for his good looks and star appeal, he bought me nice things and treated me well. I never once asked for a thing from him, he just happened to always know what I wanted and when I wanted it. Some people would say I was a gold digger or his sugar baby, but I feel like he was just a nice man that treated me well and looked out for me. I never once slept with him, though I’m sure he would not have turned me down, our relationship was never physical. I had some of the best dates I ever experienced with him. He took me to nice restaurants to wine and dine me, he took me on cruises to get away from the stress of my college life, and he bought me all the latest fashions to keep my girlfriends jealous. He is what every woman dreams of as a little girl, that they hope to find when they get older. The only problem was that I wasn’t grown up yet and he already lived the life I dreamed of having. It was fun while it lasted, but it wasn’t meant to be from the jump. He wanted an arm piece and I wanted to have fun and not get hurt like so many men before him had done to me.

So to get back to what my original question, is age really just a number? In my experiences it has been. If you know someone that has had a difference experience, let me know. Every man that I have dated, slept with, or known personally has never acted their age. I have grown up with some fellas that as we age forward their maturity grows backward. So until some man changes my mind, I will always believe that no matter how far in age you are from a man, it doesn’t really matter, because he doesn’t act his age anyway. I’m guessing that it never really changes, you just need to find someone that is at your same age level.

A Man in Uniform...

What is it about a man in uniform that is just so appealing? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but as I was standing in line at a local Starbucks, I found myself strongly attracted to the police officer standing in front of me. Now mind you had he been in “civilian” clothes, I probably would not have given him a second look, but the gun he had and the strong presence he brought by just standing there got me thinking dirty thoughts. All I can is that I wanted to jump the bones of the hot police officer right then and there in the middle of Starbucks with no inhibition in sight. Well some in sight, because let’s be realistic it’s a police officer in a Starbucks, let’s not get too crazy.

I have noticed that this has happened on more than one occasion with me, where there has been a decent looking guy, but put him in a police uniform, paramedic uniform, fire fighter uniform, well you get the point, and it makes him like 4 times hotter than he is. I know with the uniforms I listed before there may have been a recurring theme of men that saves lives. It’s not the case, I promise you, because I like the UPS guys to, but I think that may be the shorts they wear. I hope this attraction to men in uniforms subsides soon, because I can’t go around getting wet every time I see a hot man in uniform. That would be all bad. So what I have decided is that I will make my list and maybe check it twice of all the men, and what uniform they have that I wish to sleep with. I have police officer, marine, navy man, and army man under my belt. What other ones shall I conquer? And who will be next? I got a feeling it will be this hot paramedic that lives down the street from me, we recently met and I think I kind of like him. Oh the adventures of my life, where will you take me next???
So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Story Time...

So there is this guy i know...(don't the best stories start out like that), but anyway there is this guy i know, I've know him for about 8 years now. He was Mr. Big Man on Campus in high school. The ladies loved him, the fellas wanted to be him, he had it all, and from what i know till this day still does. I was like many of those girls in high school fawning all over him, wanting to grab his attention, wanting to make him notice me. I gave up on the dream of making him my bf, and we grew to become good friends. It was only recently, that i found out that he wanted me as bad as I wanted him in high school. The only qualms I had were the fact that he had a girlfriend he basically called his wife. I'm not going to sit here and lie and say i didn't flirt with him anyway, he approached me, i had backed off. We would have the occasional flirty text going back and forth, and by flirty i totally mean hardcore sex text, but i tried to make it sound better. And then it would be that time of year when college students would go home for an extended period of time, and the texting would get more serious, like when am i going to see you when you get back? I really want to see you, can we make that happen? As intrigued as i am, I truly just can't bring myself to do it.
My friends and i love to go out to bars/clubs, so I know quite a few party promoters and a club owners. So an "ex" of mine who happens to be best friends of the above mentioned guy, decides it would be a good idea to invite me and my home girl to an event where he just happened to forget to mention "Mr. Big Man on Campus" would be. So needless to say I ran into him. Me being the smart lady that i am was totally prepared for anything. When he decided to walk up behind me, and grab my ass, i grabbed the nearest guy and full on made out with him. He was a pretty jealous and walked away. He comes up to me later mad at me like he has claim on me, hello you have a "wifey" why don't you go hang out with her and let me live my life. So I go on about my evening, and low and behold who's tap tap tapping on my shoulder, "Mr. Big", i'll shorten it and have it sound sex and the city, and now he wants to approach me in a manner a little more respectful. So he buys me any my friend a shot, and buys me a couple more shots *wink wink* so i'm feeling the music i'm feeling him. My friend, who i love to death, is the biggest cock block ever. She decides she's hungry and wants to leave a little early to go to Denny's. If only i drove, I wouldn't have left so early with this chick. But I digress, we go to Denny's and get there before the big rush of people. As we are leaving I get a text saying "U left already i wanted to hang out w/u after the club", mind you it's like 2:30 in the morning, there is nothing on his mind but one thing. So I tell him for tonight, and tonight only, I will hit you up when i get back home, and you can call me when you get to this side of town and you can come through.
He comes over, and we make out way to my room and mind you I have wanted this since high school, so has he, we are fooling around making out and he does something, that makes me let all my thoughts about what's wrong with this go. Please keep in mind i'm not a petite woman, i got some meat on my bones and then some. He picks me up throws me on the bed and eats my pussy like it's his last meal. I came once he kept going, I came twice he kept going, I cam three times....you get the idea. I lost count after a while to say the least it was the BEST oral I have ever had. I couldn't get up or even function properly. It was amazing!!!
It my turn to do my sexy thang, and i'm all into it, and here we are two sexy people, and he can't get hard from me sucking his dick. To add to that he says I was just so anxious and this actually happens with my girl. Why would you tell compare the girl you're cheating with to your girl. I'm not her for a reason, i have some thangs she doesn't she has some things i don't that's why we're here. I'm upset, but i try not to let it show, so we sit there talking for a while. It ends up being great conversation because we haven't talked in a while, like seriously talked not just sex texting. I realized why I liked him so many years ago, and I think I got a little attached. When I realized that, I know it was time to stop talking. I can't catch feelings for him, he has a wifey, and all the feelings of guilt that went out the window just flew back in. I feel horrible, and just want to get away, but then he starts kissing me again so I stop him. He starts to caress my thigh and slowly kiss my neck, I can't help but melt. When he nibbles on my ear lobe i get a shiver down my spine, a tingling sensation. Slowly but surely making his way to my lips. He tastes so sweet i want him so bad at this point, so i flip it. I lay him on the bed and slowly kiss down his well built abs and at this point he's already at full salute. I slowly start sucking the shaft, playing with the balls and all. He starts moaning letting me know it's good to him. When he finally cums, I keep going like he did to me. I slurp it up and make him hard again. I know its so sensitive, and then he starts shaking. He just stayed there for a bit not moving, but breathing heavily. I got mine and he got his.
We are still friends, we don't mess around anymore, which is good and now that this pent up lust is out of our system, we can be real friends(in a way). Learn from my mistake people, it will come back to you trust me. I would never want to be cheated on, and I let someone else use me as a pawn in their dirty dealings. It's not right, and I wish I could take it back, but I can't all i can do is tell the story of passion that brings a moral dilemma to light. Do as I say and not as I do. So keep sending me those questions and until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Is it bad when...

Is it bad when you sleep with someone, but then the next night you sleep with their best friend?

Is it bad when you know you shouldn't like someone and you do?

Is it bad when you make stuff up to sound more interesting?

Is it bad when you know you shouldn't but you do anyway?


These are all questions i have received recently, I was quite intrigued and a little shocked. (I have changed the actual questions a little to better suit the blog. content same, wording different.) i can and will answer them....


Is it bad when you sleep with someone, but then the next night you sleep with their best friend?

I really wanna say that it's bad, but who am i to cast the first stone, when i have been in that situation. It sucks to be that person, but if you don't feel bad, then who is anyone to say right or wrong. Just make sure you are being safe, use protection and always have an up to date STD test. Don't be stupid with sex, use your head.

Is it bad when you know you shouldn't like someone and you do?

No, it happens to the best of us. You fall for that bad guy or girl, that you know you shouldn't like, but you can't help it they have something that obviously intrigues you. I say let it pass, try not to act on it, cause it will only cause problems.

Is it bad when you make stuff up to sound more interesting?

Yes tell tales, lying, fibbing all that jazz is bad news. If you're not interesting, do something with your life to be able to tell true stories. Tell lies gets you nowhere fast.

Is it bad when you know you shouldn't sleep with someone but you do anyway?

I guess for me it would depend on who you sleep with, and why you shouldn't be sleeping with them. I would say its definitely bad if you have been down that path before and it only ends in heartbreak. Trust me nobody asks for that. If you are feeling guilt about either your or their relationship outside of the obvious sexual one between the two of you, there is probably a big issue you need to work out. If you feel guilty about it, it's probably a bad thing.

There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions. I have given you my perspective, take from it what you will. If you disagree I respect your opinion, however it is your opinion not mine. I take all questions very seriously, so don't be shy ask away. So until the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Big kids play with toys too....

So i'm obviously no stranger to the local sex shops, but i wanted to talk about something that i think is fun and a joy to have in my life, and that would be my favorite toy. I feel like the greatest invention for women in this area is the jack rabbit, and it comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and speeds. I mean don't get me wrong I have an assortment, of toys from dildos, pocket rockets, and g-spot vibes, but nothing and i mean nothing compares to the jack rabbit vibrator. i may be getting to comfortable with it, but it's not like any man has been able to get me close in a long time. I've begun to organize and throw passion parties which for me and my girls has been good. They get to ask questions and i get to learn about the differences women have when it comes to achieving orgasm. BOOOOOYYYYY let me tell you fellas ya'll need to step ya game up cause the toy biz sure has. I don't know if me and my girls are dipping from the same learning pool, but guys just don't seem to get the formula right. Either they cum to quickly and don't get them off or take forever, and aren't really working it like they should. Any who, back to the main topic, if you're interested in a quick get ya mind right type orgasm we came to a general agreement that most pocket rockets will get the job done. What i love about the pocket rocket is that it comes in so many varieties, that you can make it fit your personality. If people know you're allergic to chocolate, and they see you with a "betterfinger" pocket vibe, they are gonna be suspicious right?

My personal beef with dildos is that I am doing to much work to get off. I mean if i am really just trying to enjoy myself and relax, why would i want to do all the work? IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME. Anyway, they do at least offer many different colors, sizes, shapes, and textures. They all look pretty cool, but unless you know your body and can easily cum from vaginal stimulation, i would not invest in them.

G-spot vibes look kind of funky but they get the job done. I have personally experienced them, i feel like other things work better, weather it be my fingers, or another toy. They on the other hand had many positive things to say about it. One of the main things is that it could find the g-spot unlike many of the men they had been with.

Whatver you're looking for in a vibrator, make sure it works for you, not what your friend recommends cause it's usually what works for her. And always remember if all else fails, use ur fingers, or get the real thing. Please continue to send in questions i know i haven't written as often, but i am finding more time to get it done, so untill the next question rolls my way much love and happiness...enjoy your night

What's good ma?

Is this supposed to be the new pick up line of the 21st century, because if it is i'll gladly stay single. I don't want any man that thinks its okay to call me ma or mami, mainly because i'm not ya mother. I don't want a man that will call me sugar, honey or babygirl, because i'm not ya daughter. If one more man calls me Shortii we are going to have issues. Yes Plies revived it with his song Shawty and The Dream with Shawty is a 10, but that does not make it okay to call every girl you are trying to "holla at" or your girlfriend Shawty. I hate sounding bitter and angry, but this is an issue that has been on my mind for a while. When i'm in the streets or even on myspace, i can't go a day without being called ma, mami, shortii, babygirl, or hon. This is an epidemic that needs to be stopped, and if it doesn't, well i guess i'll be single till a man can step to me correctly.
Enough of this bitter angry woman stuff, and on a side note, Ms. Nikky has moved back home to the fast life of LA and i am utterly excited. Maybe this time i will get a chance to write more about my experiences since i will be going out just about every night i can. Hawaii has been fun, but goodbye aloha state, and hello fun state. Don't worry Hawaii we can always be friends.
Please continue to send in questions i know i haven't written as often, but i am finding more time to get it done, so untill the next question rolls my way Much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Big Mind...Small Mind....

So i've been meaning to talk about this one for a while. There's this guy, and i'm really feeling him. I like his style, his swag if you will. I am beginning to be smitten with him, and if you know me, i want to know what he's like, and if you don't know me that means i hope he knows how to fuck. (excuse my language) So he comes over to my place, and we hang out, we're talking and laughing (you know the whole we're getting to know each other thing), and then next thing you know i'm laughing he's laughing and decides he's gonna kiss me. I'm sitting there suprised, but not pulling away it was good to me, so i go with it. Things are starting to get hot and heavy, so i'm still going with it. This guy, to my surprise, was huge. I was totally into it and was like it's gonna be amazing, he's sexy, he's kissing me right, this is going to happen and its going to be mind-blowing and extremely satisfying. BOOOOOOOYYYYYYY was i wrong. Maybe its me, but i'm pretty sure its not. I suck it up with the best of them, and I had this guy toe-curling saying my name it was so good to him. If I have time to think about what i'm gonna do after work in three days that is not okay with me. Pump, pump, pump away sweetie, but if you got 8 inches, and can't work it, you don't deserve it. I was lonely in disappointment city, and wanted to just say ya know what it's okay you can stop. I didn't want to be mean, so i tried to change positions....Let's just say it was better, but not great. I was mostly disappoited because i really liked the guy.

I decided it would be wrong this time to just write him off, so i decieded i'll give him another chance, it was our first time, i'll give him the benefit of the doubt. So we take a break from that, and focus on building our relationship. We deciede there is no nervous pressure, we are comfortable with each other, let's try this again. (GOOD COMMUNICATION MAKES A BETTER RELATIONSHIP). So we are getting hot and heavy just like before, and he is putting in work. I am feeling great, back arching, heavy breathing, moans and screams, i'm about to have an explosive orgasm, and he cums. If only you could see my level of pisstivity (yes I made up my own word for it). SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close, yet let down again, and then had the audacity to ask me if I got off. Do I look satisfied right now?

I will take this as a learning experience and write this one off. I mean the communication was there, the chemistry was there, the passion was there, but we could not make it happen. You live you learn you get a vibrator to fill the gaps. Since this happened a while ago, I have since this time had better sex, so i know it wasn't me, and truly know we were not meant to have an intimate relation. Please continue to send in questions i know i haven't written in a while, but i am finding more time to get it done, so untill the next question rolls my way Much love and happiness...enjoy your night

Sex and Video Games

In the evolution of video games, I have seen many more sexual undertones in the competitive aggression displayed with games that involve distinguishing female and male characters. What I'm noticing is that since it's so many young males playing the video games, the female characters are skinnier, sexier and a lot more provocative. I'm not a skinny mini, and i just think it sucks that this is the imagery that is being placed in the young developmental minds of our youth. I'm not like huge or anything, I got my curves in all the right places, i'm just not a size 2. I'm not gonna get all political with this post, it's just something i've been thinking about, when I see games like grand theft auto, mortal kombat vs. DC, tomb raider, and dead or alive. Games are games as many people would say, but a lot of strategy and thought can go into them. I love video games don't get me wrong hanging with the boys playing madden and call of duty is the time of my life, but the only chicks you see are these hot ass skinny minis that are so unrealistic, and make guys drool like crazy. I want to see a plus size bombshell that isn't portrayed as a beast, but something sexy and desired. Is that too much to ask?
Anywho... I guess untill that day comes, i'll just stick to playing racing games that are just fun and old school games to make me re-live my childhood.

WHERE IS THE DIVA???

I apologize to my faithful reader(s)...*cough cough* hahaha that I have not been posting to my blog like i should be. I have been crazy busy and haven't gotten any real feedback for new questions and topics so i have kind of been slacking. I am back in the blog world and ready to write some more. I have some good topics coming up: sex and video games, the phenomena of the rabbit, and many more topics just to give you a little tease. Please believe ya gurl is not AWOL, and I am ready to get back to what I like to do well the second thing I like to do. * wink wink* much love to you and yours and please enjoy your night.

One Night Stand...

So recently i had asexcapade with this United States Navy Men, and I was let down. I'm thinking je is buff, in shape, stamina pretty high...ya know all the good stuff. How sadly mistaken i was. My guy who i will call "Tiny" (pun intended) was promising to begin with. He was affectionate, kissable lips, soft gentle touch, yet when he started to go down on me it was like i was in high school again and he was just learning how to do it. He wanted to do it so badly, yet he couldn't find my clitoris if he had a flashlight and a map. After his horrible attempt at eating me out, he decides to plow into me with is 4 inch penis and pumped about 6 times before he came. I didn't know weather to laugh or be pissed off. My theory is if you aren't good at giving oral, then you should be amazing at penetration. Then he had the audacity to ask me if I had as much fun as him and if i wanted a round two. Needless to say i was not interested in seeing him again. Although I was clear with him in saying that i didn't want to see him anymore, he decided to start stalking me. showing up at my apartment, waiting for me when I get home, all kinds of crazy stuff. Be careful when you are having a one night stand, because it can bring out the crazies in a person. I was lucky he was harmless to me, but you never know if they are crazy enough to stalk, they are crazy enough to do damage. The moral of the story, watch out for who you let in your bed. Untill the next question rolls my way Much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

Oral Aversion?

There is an increasing number of men I have encountered and met that are not willing to go down on a woman but expects the woman to go down on him. There is also a large number of women that refuse to go down on a man, but expect him to do it to them. I don't understand it people!!! What's the problem??? How can you expect your partner to give you oral pleasure and not be willing to reciprocate? It's just wrong. I can maybe understand if you weren't good at it but that is something the two of you can work on.
There are so many options for the two of you to consider. They have workshops, pornos, magazines, books, TV shows dedicated to educating the masses on the joys and pleasures of learning how to please your partner orally. If the only reason is you don't know how that's pretty lame, mostly cause you are just being lazy.
If it's because in their nether regions there is a funny smell, this can be caused by a various number of problems. It can be poor hygiene, which is one of the biggest problems, an infection, sweat from foreplay, or a combination of the sorts. This is a major turn off that can be readily fixed to keep the mood going and can later be discussed. Some options may be getting busy in a pool or shower something that gives you a lot of access to water and can relieve you of the smell. If the mood is totally killed talk to them about what made it go sour (literally). Your partner may be embarrassed, but at least they know for next time and it's something you two will eventually be able to laugh off.
From my own personal experience, there was a guy, lets call him "LA" that I used to kick it with. LA was what you would categorize as a sex thing. We only saw each other basically to fuck. LA is the type of guy that thinks he's God's gift to women and if he's fucking you, you're one of the choosen few. LA loves to get head, always said mine was amazing the best he ever had, but after a while the same shit get played out. I go down on him he fucks me...nothing spectacular for me, great for him okay for me. I realized what was missing was a great oral session for me. What I have concluded was that LA just wasn't good at it. I came to this conclusion when I used tried and true methods, such as changing the scene to be near water, getting myself checked out, keeping it shaved cause I know that's how he likes it. Nothing worked for me. I knew it wasn't a me problem so I brought it to his attention. LA said he never wanted to go down on a girl, not because anything was wrong with her, he just didn't want to be thought of as inferior in any aspect of sex. Needless to say I'm not wasting my time with someon so ignorant anymore, but the thought never left my mind. Isn't it inferior to not try at something, especially with sex, because practice only makes you better. So the moral of the story, fellas don't get lazy and ladies if you're scared of the penis you shouldn't be having sex you're not ready.
If this intrigued you or you have more questions please feel free to ask away or contact me for more. Untill the next question rolls my way Much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

What's up with these females?

"Why is it girls are so retarded when it come to sex and relationships?" This is a question ALL of my guy friends keep asking me. Well the only answer I can come up with, because I'm a girl, is that they put their heart, soul and passion into sex and relationships instead of going on basic animalistic instinct like most men do. Women have this constant problem of becoming emotionally involved in the act of sex cause that's how we are built. Now don't get me wrong not all women are built as exact duplicates in the emotion department, cause I personally have learned to act like a lady and think like a man, but for some it's a lot easier said than done. One of my best girl friends, has gotten her heart broken by the same man since we were in High school together. Numerous amounts of people in her life have told her he was bad news, but she was so emotionally involved with him that she couldn't see that he was no good. Please understand the blame is not completely to be placed on her, he was no better for leading her to believe he was something great when he clearly wasn't. I am not going to sit here telling you that girls are better than boys or vice versa. Girls do some pretty stupid things when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex and Guys are in the same boat, I will however say that there are a million things that people can work on to limit the level of stupid actions that occurs in relationships. For a few basics,
-talk to person you are "with" make sure you are on the same page as far as relationshi status.
-be willing to walk away if they can't give you what you want
-don't feel obligated to be with someone for their sake, it will never work out in the long run.
-Get to know your opposite (i.e. what they like/dislike, personality traits)
If these intrigued you or you have more questions please feel free to ask away or contact me for more. Untill the next question rolls my way Much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

Who wouldn't want to have great sex...

Most people don't have sex just to do it, cause nothings on TV, many people have sex to feel something so mind-blowing, so electric, incredibly amazing that they can barely stand the next day. I mean what is it that we have this need to have great sex not for the purpose of procreation, but for the purpose of cumming. Don't get me wrong, I like to fuck just as much as the next person, but I feel like there is a point in your life where there should be a deeper purpose behind it all. I may not be as experienced as others, because of my ripe young age...lol...but at the same time I have had many experiences, good times and bad. I just feel like I haven't had the kind of body trembling, mind blowing, toe-curling, can't walk the next day type sex in soooooo long that...good sex doesn't cut it anymore. Because great sex is in such short supply, I wonder sometimes is it love that makes sex better or is it they way you live your life. From my own experiences, when I was in a committed relationship, I had some great (guarnateed) sex. Although it was great sometimes, it wasn't great everytime for various reasons. When it came to a one night stand se, it was hit and miss and not quite as guaranteed, because I could go out and not meet anyone worth taking home. Is it too much to ask to get great sex without putting your whole heart into the act of passion you are having. To conclude my rantings, i wanted to give you a heads up, that in upcoming blogs i will be answering the questions of some of my friends to get the ball rolling, till i get more followers/readers.

Story time...

The reason I became so interested in the affairs of sex, is because my first time, like a lot of girls I know, wasn't the idea of romantic or for that matter even good. I wasn't in love, I wanted to sleep with a different guy but I liked him so much I didn't want him to be my first for the fear of "virginitis" (a term i coined for those people who become attached to the people who take their virginity). I figured that the hype for sex was clearly over exaggerated, because what i experienced was not glamorous, sexy, fun anything that the media makes sex out to be. I didn't want to be discouraged by my misfortunate first time, so I got back up on the horse and tried again, this time with the guy I had a huge crush on. It was better, but I felt like since I was the common denominator in this situation maybe it was me that was bad at sex. At this point I was determined to get the glamorous sex I craved. I began reading, watching, asking friends, and basically anything under the sun I could to know more about sex. To make this long story a little shorter, I didn't think about the best way to learn is to start having sex. I learned that you learn about technique but just like sports, music and other hobbies, pratice makes perfect, or at least for better sex. Much love and happiness...enjoy your night.

The First Time...

Let me introduce myself....My name for all intensive purposes is Dymond Diva...This blog is a way for me to express my emotions. Basically because I can't really tell my family and friends about the life I lead, I need an outlet. If you happen to wonder by and read this blog from time to time, please feel free to comment and ask questions. I decided that if I want to live my life having sex as much as I did that I should learn as much as I can about it. I am a self taught expert in sexual encounters. I will thru this blog share my experiences, my knowledge, and my compassion to help others have a great sex life. So if you stop by tell your friends to check it out. I will try to post daily. Much love and happiness...enjoy your night.